clouds3I distinctly remember before getting married, I was willing to put up with anything, except living with in-laws.  It seems selfish and harsh, but that was the case, as it is with so many other women going into marriage.  Why is this so?  Why are we taught to think that the in-laws will be our worst enemies?

Wherever we look, whether it is in the movies or on popular TV sitcoms, the in-laws are made fun of, they show that never can anyone have a peaceful relationship with their in-laws.  But, is this really the case?  Can we actually have a beneficial relationship or even friendship with our in-laws?

I, like most other women, have had issues with my in-laws.  Most of these issues have to do with my space, housework, and raising children.  When it comes down to it, I have this notion that my in-laws will disapprove of whatever I am doing.  However, what I have come to learn is that most of it is in my head.  Sure, my father in-law has plenty to say about food and my cooking at times, but does that really matter?  And my mother in-law always has to put in her two cents about raising the children, but she is only trying to be helpful. 

Certainly, there are cases of in-laws being totally unfair and having unrealistic expectations for their daughter in-law, but I am sure that this is not the norm.  I think that we as women go into the marriage with negative notions of how the in-laws are going to be and react. We are taught that we need to have our own space and should do things our way in our households with our husbands. 

However, Islamicially speaking, is this any way to think of your husband’s parents? Surely, the same respect should be given to them as our own parents. 

Most of the time, seemingly little things can turn into heated arguments, or are just turn into a big deal. Here are some examples:

1270015318-P2G5HG7We have to remember that the relationship with our in-laws is like any other. The more we put into it, the more we will get out of it. And, as Muslim Women, we should know that Jannah (Paradise) is more attainable for us, if our husbands are happy. One way to keep our husbands happy, is to have a good relationship with their families. And, if it’s not possible to do that, then at least be kind to them and have some patience with them.

Just like other Muslims, our in-laws are also our fellow Muslim brothers and sisters. We must love one another if we want to attain Jannah, as is stated in the following hadeeth (Prophetic Narration),

“You will not enter paradise until you have faith and you will not complete your faith until you love one another.” (Saheeh Muslim)

May Allah (swt) make our relationships with our in-laws beneficial, in this life and the hereafter! Aameen.


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