HijabsilhouettesAbû Hurayrah relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Allaah will ask on the Day of Judgment: 'Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, – on a day when there is no shade but mine – I shall shade them with My shade." [Sahîh Muslim (2566)]

"I love you for the sake of Allaah". This phrase has been used by me and by many others so many times. I recently attended a Halaqah also on this topic and what struck me was the word "love".

Something was amiss and I was very restless.

Yes I love a lot of people, but I do that because they are my family; blood, in law or through circumstances.

But the Messenger of Allaah (s) in his statement does not make any exceptions. He (s) talks only about "loving each other for the sake of Allaah".

I was so confused when I looked around me and saw people using this statement yet exhibiting coldness in emotion, jealousy, betrayal in their attitude.

And then I looked up the word in the dictionary, as I think we sometimes really forget the "meaning" of the word we speak so casually.

Love means to have really strong feelings of affection for someone and to really like someone.

Now a different question perplexed me. Ok Alhamdulillah I really love some people, but here as I said earlier the Messenger of Allaah (s) makes no exception.

So how to really love someone who hurt or betrayed me?!!!! And I like you, desperately want that shade of Allaah [s]!!

Love Each other for Allaah's sake - It's easier said than done. Right?

No matter how hard we try, we still fail to love some people. All our efforts seem to fall flat. So, we either give up trying or are about to give up or desperately seeking a way to make it work. Sometimes these are really crucial relations like spouses, in laws, relatives and sometimes not so crucial but nevertheless important because of their influence in our daily lives like coworkers, neighbors, roommates.

Yet we witness certain relations that withstand the trials of our nafs, distance and time. Onslaughts of negative emotions like envy, ego is not able to even put a crack in the solid foundations of the relationship. We also witness a sudden surge of love and tenderness for people around us whom we could never imagine liking again.

How does that happen? Who makes us succeed and fail at times?

"And (moreover) He has put affection between their hearts: not if you had spent all that is in the earth, could you have produced that affection, but Allaah has done it: for He is Exalted in might, Wise."[8:63]

" .. And He put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. [Surah Rum: 21]

So, now we know who makes it all possible. But the question still remains. Why do we fail?

A mention of the above aayah [8:63] by my sister in law, a student of the Qur'an and a heart searching discussion with one of my dearest friends led me to understand why we fail and what we can do to improve our chances of success, as who doesn't want Allaah subhanahu wa ta'aala's shade on the day when there will be no other?

After all the hurt and the discussion which unfortunately is labeled under the tag " "Gheebah" in our Book Of Deeds settles down and the remorse sets in. I look for the answer to "how to truly love a person no matter what for the sake of Allaah swt" and and then Alhamdullilah I came upon a simple 'Point Plus Program Guide for Truly Loving a Person for the Sake of Allaah':

Make the intention: No matter what I will "love " this person for the sake of Allaah swt as He wants me to and I desperately want that shade on the day when there will be no shade but His.

Check your intentions—why do you really want to love this person? Do you want to love your husband, because you truly believe that Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala has chosen the best one for you? Why do you want to love your mother in law though she sometimes does point out your mistakes? Do you want to love her to please your husband or Allaah subhaanahu wa ta'aala? Once the truthful answers to all the questions you put to yourself are subhaanahu wa ta'aala, then it's time for you to move to next step. Else stop right there and ask Allaah subhaanahu wa ta'aala to guide you towards Him and then proceed to the next step.

Acknowledge the struggle: None of us is perfect. Not me. Not you. Each day is an intense struggle with the nafs and this dunyah to live life the way Allaah wants us to live. Each one of us has different areas of weakness and strengths. Acknowledge the struggle and remember we are all "sisters (or brothers) in arms" against the shaitan.

Identify the Good Areas: each one of us has some "good areas". Something about a person that is good and we like. Identify it.

Focus on it: once we have identified the good areas, focus on them alone. You must have seen a horse with the blinders around its eyes, to make it look only straight ahead. Become like that horse. Focus only on the good areas. Not easy. I agree but if done for the sake of Allaah, then eventually it does become easy. Inshaa'Allaah!!

horse blinders

Seek refuge from the shaitaan: something negative will happen to derail us. A nasty comment, a cold look, someone telling us about the bad the other person has said or done to us. Seek refuge from Allaah. Only He can help and anyways we are doing it only for His sake. So He will help us inshaa'Allaah. And start at Point No 1 again: Acknowledge the struggle a person makes.

Remember no one is perfect. Not you. Not me: we are all struggling in this Dunyah for a better Aakhirah. None of us is perfect and if we don't help each other by being forgiving and understanding and sympathy, then who will?

Make Du'a—Du'a is the weapon of a believer. It is the only thing that always works. So, close your eyes open your heart and feel the depth of words of the du'a the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings upon him) taught us.

اللَّهُمَّ أَلِّفْ بَيْنَ قُلُوبِنَا وَأَصْلِحْ ذَاتَ بَيْنِنَا وَاهْدِنَا سُبُلَ السَّلاَمِ وَنَجِّنَا مِنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّورِ وَجَنِّبْنَا الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ

وَبَارِكْ لَنَا فِي أَسْمَاعِنَا وَأَبْصَارِنَا وَقُلُوبِنَا وَأَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا وَتُبْ عَلَيْنَا إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيمُ

وَاجْعَلْنَا شَاكِرِينَ لِنِعْمَتِكَ مُثْنِينَ بِهَا قَابِلِيهَا وَأَتِمَّهَا عَلَيْنَا

"O Allaah!! Put affection amongst our hearts, reform our matters within us, guide us to the path of peace, save us from the darkness towards light, save us from all kinds of obscenity - the apparent as well as the hidden; bless our hearing, our sight, our hearts, our spouses and our children, turn in mercy towards us. Indeed You are the One who greatly accepts repentance, most Merciful. Make us the ones most grateful for Your bounties so we may compete with one another n praising You for these (bounties) and complete these (bounties) for us." [Aboo Daawood, Shaykh Al-Albaani has authenticated it]

Learn the following process:


May Allaah subhaanahu wa ta'ala grant us success and grant us all His shade on the Day when there will be no shade except His.