1. Write down a weekly schedule of the dishes you intend to make – no more stress to think about WHAT you have to cook. Let everyone contribute to the list. It'll make things easier. Note down the groceries required.
2. Simplify cooking. Why do you prepare a breakfast and then a snack for the school and then lunch and then dinner? Can't you combine foods in a creative way?
Prepare stuff that you can cook instantly. Stack away things in the freezer. Boil prawns, prepare shaamis, kababs, fish, etc. and freeze them. They'll be ready to fry. Check out recipes that are easy to do. If chapatis take a long time, try making pancakes or dosas.
Try to reuse the curries. You can perhaps make shorba for dinner and use it again for breakfast. Or freeze it and use it a day later to avoid repetition on the same day.
Simplify, simplify, and simplify cooking. You can still cook delicious food. Work smart, not hard.
3. Managing Time. Can't you finish all your cooking in the morning before the children go to school? Why don't you prepare breakfast and lunch together for example?
Start with the most difficult task of the day and finish it off early, because if you are able to get it done in the morning, the rest of the day will be much, much easier. Your major battle for the day is already over.
A sweating walk, jog or exercise and reciting the Qur'an or the Adhkaar after you've exhausted yourself with the morning work will be good to your brain. It will relax you. Think of different activities you can be involved in. Find a friend to do these activities together.
Try to get up even earlier than Fajr if you can. I swear this will be excellent. But that means you must sleep early and train your children to sleep early. Eliminate working after Isha.
4. Work. When working outside home, women generally are extremely loyal to the work they are assigned to, like more loyal than the boss. Don't take more work than what you're capable of.
Set priorities in your life and don't compromise over them. Projects, deadlines, and work are always going to be there. We can't devote our life to them.
5. Post Isha Time. You should not get even close to work after Isha. Relax and chill out. Speak to your family. Spend time talking random stuff. General stuff. Joke with each other. Tell them what happened at home. Hear their stories.
This should be your important and unavoidable family time. Keep it for about half an hour or 45 minutes — that's quality time spent. Then go to sleep by doing your adhkar.
If you wish, write down what you have to do next morning, even if it is the same schedule. Or else, write the schedule i.e. plan the day when you wake up in the morning. But write it down.
6. Involve Children. Many mothers are always in the "do it all" mode.
Get your children involved in housework! Let them do the dishes in turns. If they aren't doing it properly, have Sabr. They will learn. But it must be their responsibility. Period.
You must develop the art of sweetly getting the work done through others. They should love doing it. It should be given that, after dinner, it is they who will clean up the table and do the dishes. Let them also prepare the dinner table and unpack and wash their lunch boxes.
You must be firm. Tell your children that you are finding it very difficult. Express the pressure you are facing and tell them that if they don't help out, you may fall sick. Children will get worried and become responsible. Keep the communication alive.
Publicly appreciate the work they do and encourage them to do more. Treat them as if they are elders. Make housework something interesting to do and a competition between children.
7. Be Fully Involved in what you do (i.e. don't think of other things when you're doing one thing). For example, when you are helping with the homework, think only about that. Innovate on how you could make it easier and better for the children. Make it full of life and activity.
This will help you as well. It will distract you from worries. It will add different colors to your life.
8. Be Positive. Make lots of du'a and leave your worries to Allaah. Please don't get into a self-pity or self-blame mode. Get rid of all negative emotions. They don't help. You can be positive, happy and upbeat regardless of what you have, or don't have in life. Once you've made du'a, expressed your weakness and sought comfort from Allah, you should be in action mode. Think about how to deal with this situation and then plan things.
Work out clever and pleasing ways to give da'wah to your husband. Ways that are not confronting. Be fully obedient, but that doesn't mean you should be dull and silent.
Be confident and expressive in a nice and loving way. Men like women who charm them with positivity (even if he's not giving you the reason to be, but this shouldn't be dependent on him).
Just the state of being positive and giving Da'wah for Allah's sake will make you happy and he'll listen to you more as well In-shaa' Allaah.
Remember that things don't change overnight. Take it step by step. It requires some effort from you.