One of the most difficult decisions many Muslim sisters face is the decision to start wearing Hijab. This is certainly true for reverts, but may also be true for sisters whose families or even whose cultures are not particularly observant.
As a revert myself, I have been through the same thing. I would like to offer some advice that I hope will be helpful to sisters who are considering to wear the Hijab but find that something is holding them back. Here is some advice based on my own experiences:
- Deciding to wear Hijab
This is where the difficulties usually come in. For many sisters, it truly is a Jihad (struggle). I remember very vividly how scared I was the first day I put on the headscarf and went out into public. As long as you are just wearing the modest clothes, nobody has to know that you are a Muslim. Once you complete your Hijab with the headscarf, you are suddenly announcing to everyone who sees you that "I am a Muslim".
- Wear it for the sake of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala)
Various statements are made about why you should wear Hijab, such as for modesty or for protection, but the real reason that we wear Hijab is because Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'ala) has commanded it. Whenever anyone asks you, why do you dress like that? That's the first answer you need to give them.
Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) is the source of everything we have, our existence, our life, our capability, even our goodness. If He ever stopped sustaining us, we would vanish in that instant. If He ever took away what he gives us, we would never have even a speck of it. If we worked for millions of years, we could never repay Him for all that He has given us. And yet He does give it to us, and all He asks in return is that we do our best to obey what He has commanded us, and even that is for the good of our own soul.
Surely wearing Hijab is a very small thing that you can do out of obedience to Allah, compared to what He does for you!
- Wear it for the hope of Jannah
Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) makes tests for us in this world. He makes things difficult for us. He wants to see if we will remember Him, if we will have faith in Him, and if we will trust in Him. These qualities are what is meant by true sabr (patience).
Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) does not lose the work of anyone, ever (see: Surah Aal 'Imraan, chapter 3, verse 195). Even if it seems like nobody is paying attention to you, notices or appreciates good things that you do, Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) has seen them, and He will never forget them. Even when it seems like the whole world is against you, Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) is always there for you when you turn to Him. Remember this.
Allah ('azza wa jall) always wants the best for us and in His wisdom He knows why each thing that happens to us is in fact best for us. When it seems like everything is going wrong and life is just one disaster after another, it is easy to forget this and to become bitter and sceptical. Yet we must remember always to have faith that Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) knows best why He has willed this for us, and we must always ask Him only, “Make me pleased with what You have willed for me".
This world we live in, although it seems at times to be the only real thing, is actually fleeting compared to the Hereafter, which is better and more abiding. The trials of this world will seem as fleeting as a nightmare when seen from the Hereafter, and the pleasures of this world will also seem as fleeting as a dream when seen from the Hereafter. It's our happiness in the Hereafter that we should be most worried about attaining, because it is what will last forever. It's our suffering in the Hereafter that we should be most worried about avoiding, because it also will last forever.
Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) has promised Jannah to those who remain steadfast in their faith in Him and who trust in Him. The more difficult it is for you to have Sabr (patience), the greater the reward for it. So what will it be? Ease in this world, and perhaps the eternal sufferings in Hell? Or difficulty in this world, and Inshaa’ Allah (Allah Willing) the eternal bliss of Jannah? Let's face it, the old clichés are true,
‘There's no such thing as a free lunch and you can almost never have your cake and eat it too’.
We've all got to face difficulties some time. Better by far that they be in the world than in the Hereafter.
So that's what you should set your mind to. Yes, it's difficult to wear Hijab. You may be rejected by your family or your friends, you may face harassment and persecution or be fired from your job. These are very scary thoughts. But if you have Sabr (patience) and keep trusting in Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala), I promise you Sister, this is the path towards Jannah, and when you look back on the Day of Qiyaamah you will know that it was worth it and truly, you will have no regrets.
- Wear it today and trust in Allah ('azza wa jall) for tomorrow
What do I mean by that? What I mean is that you should take it one day at a time, or even one outing at a time. Sometimes the future seems to stretch on forever and ever and you don't think you can make it that long. You want to give up before you even begin.
So sometimes the best thing to do is to keep you mind focused on what is immediately at hand. Allah ('azza wa jall) will take care of the future. If you have to go out to the market, then concentrate on being able to wear Hijab just for this activity and on getting through it. If you do get through it and nothing bad happened, then give thanks to Allah ('azza wa jall) for making it easy for you, and turn your mind to your next outing.
Or if you have to go out to school or work, then concentrate on being able to wear Hijab just for this one day and on getting through it. And give thanks to Allah ('azza wa jall) when you have made it, and turn your mind to the next day.
Eventually the outings will turn into days and the days into weeks, and the weeks into months. One day you will realize that you have been wearing Hijab for quite a long time and it isn't really as bad as you feared, and that Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) helped you get through it.
Don't be ashamed. The most important thing is to have Sabr (patience) and keep your trust in Allah always.
- Wear it and spite the Satan
My dear sister, the worries and fears in your mind are the whisperings of the Satan. He wants to talk you out of obeying Allah ('azza wa jall).
It is very easy to keep going around in circles in your mind and to dwell on all the things that could go wrong. I know that I myself have a tendency to do this, I put it off and I dither and wait for "the perfect time". If I let myself do this, I would never do anything at all!
So the thing you have to remember is that you do not need to be perfect in Imaan [faith] to wear Hijab. If perfection were a qualification, which sister could truly wear it??
You must also not fall into the trap of thinking that you should wait until all your worries and fears have disappeared. They never will! Trust me on this, sister.
True courage is going ahead to do what's right even though you are still nervous and scared. So don't listen to the Satan. Ignore the worries and fears he whispers into your mind. Tell him that you will not let him keep you from obeying Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) and you will not let him rule your life.
- Make a firm decision to wear it
Once you have come to know in your heart that you must wear hijab, then you have to set a day and
This is the only way. Set a day and when that day comes, you have to do it. Don't back down. Don't give up. Do it.
Make lots of du'aa (supplication) and do not stop making du'a. Ask Allah ('azza wa jall) to give you strength. Ask Him to make it easy for you. Ask Him to help you. He will, I swear it to you. He is always there for you when you turn to Him. Remember how much He has given you, how everything that you have, even your very existence, is due to Him. Remember that He deserves this from you. Remember the promise of Jannah. Remember that remaining patient and faithful through difficulty now may lead to Jannah, Inshaa’ Allah (Allah-Willing). Even if bad things happen, keep these thoughts in your mind. Don't worry about tomorrow. Just concentrate on getting through today, and leave tomorrow to Allah ('azza wa jall) until it comes.
That's how you do it.
- Final Words of Encouragement
I have been wearing Hijab since September 1999 and I do not regret it. I have never for one instant regretted it – not even one iota. Inshaa’ Allah, you will discover that you feel the same. Even within just a few months I came to feel that I would not be properly dressed if I went out without my Hijab. This is when you know that you have made it!
Never feel that you are alone, or that you are the only one who is scared and worried and nervous. Just about every other sister who has travelled down this road has gone through the same things; I know I have. Your sisters are here for you. We have been where you are. We are encouraging you and cheering you on. We know what it takes because we had to find that in ourselves too. We are praying for your success just as we prayed for our own.
Allah does not burden a soul except what it can bear. For it is what it has earned, and upon it is what it has made due.
"Our Lord and Sustainer, do not condemn us if we forget or do wrong. Our Lord and Sustainer, do not put a burden on us like the burden You put on those who were before us. Our Lord and Sustainer, do not put a burden on us that we cannot endure. And blot out (our sins) and forgive us, and be gentle to us. You are our Protector. So help us against the rejectors." (Surah al-Baqarah :286)