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Category: Death and the Grave

The most beloved people to you are the most intent in getting your burial underway. They have organised the place and time to wash you and have prepared the necessary items to shroud you. Do not hate them, since they are only following the command of the Prophet (sallallahu a’lyhi wasallam),

“The corpse of a Muslim should not remain withheld among the family (without being buried).” (Abu Dawud)

In fact, burying the dead is a natural instinct Allah (azza wa jal) has intrinsically placed in the heart of man – and you are no exception to that rule. Today is that day when you will be washed and you will not be able to show nor feel any embarrassment.

You are truly left to the mercy of your beloveds...

The cool water starts to run from the tap and hot water is also at hand. Islaam has given you respect even after your death- your private parts are covered.  Your beloveds lie you down in a sloping position on a cold plank of wood, in this way the water that is used to wash you and whatever comes out of your body flows down.

Your head is raised and they sit you in a semi sitting position. One of the washers passes her hand over your abdomen gently allowing anything withheld therein (such as excrements) to come out. If only you knew that the food you ate only yesterday would be taken out in this manner…

They pour water over your body allowing the excrements to overflow and be removed. A washer uses a coarse piece of cloth, cleaning your stool, urine and anus with water. SubhanAllah, what did you know that this sister of yours would help you in this way, for now you cannot thank her, but her reward lies with Allah, inshAllah..

The “bismillah” (in the name of Allah) is uttered and they do wudhu (ablution) on you and for you; this is your last ablution forever - today you learn the beauty of  ablution, but it’s too late to add more wudhus to your list of good deeds, since your book of deeds has been forever closed and now you must face the result of the exam you sat in this temporal and passing abode.

Your teeth and nostrils are cleaned with the utmost care and your head is washed with fragranced soap. They turn your body to its left side then wash the whole right side of your body (the neck -> right hand -> right shoulder -> right half of the chest ->the right thigh -> right leg -> right foot). They roll you to the right side and the left side of your back is washed the same way. They repeat this procedure 3 times and up to 7 times if need be. In the last wash they use camphor, or something scented; this scent overcomes the stench that was starting to emit from your body, aiding your body to remain stiff, fragrant and cool. Today has become clearer for you Islaam's beautiful etiquettes of cleanliness and burial; your love for the Rasool’s [saws]way is an asset which you hold dearly as a beloved friend, as they prepare you for the grave.

Some perfume is applied to your head, forehead, nose, hands, knees, eyes, armpits, and perfumed cotton is placed on the front and rear openings. Your long nails are cut and the hair from your armpits is removed. Both are kept – since they are going to be one of the few things that will accompany you in your shroud, when all others will leave you… Your hair is braided into 3 braids falling down backwards.

Throughout your life you had amassed many commodities and wealth: a house, jewellery, clothes, car, mobile, laptop… and the list goes on. Your family has also prepared for you a provision, but it does not include any of these things that you worked so hard to gain and were so attached to… Rather your wealth will be inherited by your family - and your friends will easily make new friends. But what your family do give you to take along as your worldly asset is something that many women underestimate the significance and need for - especially during the hot and summery months…

It is nothing but pieces of cloth, the same cloth that the Lord of the Worlds commanded you to cover with, and the same cloth that is a means by which a woman’s bodily honour, dignity and respect is preserved. Yes, there is a difference between the former kind of cloth which Allah commanded you to cover with, giving you free-will to choose to obey Him or the accursed satan [nb: satan only wants bad for you], and the second type - your shroud.

Even if you do not accept the former covering in your life, you now have no choice over the latter. Your shroud is white, as described by the Prophet (sallallahu a’lyhi wa sallam), "Wear white clothes, since they are the best of your clothes, and shroud your dead with them." (At-Tirmidhi)

They prepare the following five pieces of cloth to cover you from head to toe, and your face will not be revealed, since there is no longer a need for you to breathe nor see the world. Also, as you will be taken soon to the Masjid for the funeral prayer, your dignity and respect as a Muslimah must be preserved - even if you didn't think so when you were alive. The following five pieces of cloth are used to cover you:

*A loincloth

*A veil

*A shirt

*2 shrouds

They lovingly apply rose water or perfume on your shroud, since this is the best they can scent you- before you are handed down to the earth, and after which the soil's redolence will emanate into your shroud... right into your being.

They begin to tie the open cloth, starting from your head and then working down to the legs. Take your last look into this world; by Allah, its joys have come to an end! All friendships that were other than for the sake of Allah have blown away. The realities of the heavens have come alight and the lowly world has shown its dark colours of deception and betrayal. Truly they succeeded who were travellers in this world. You feel like screaming: 'O Believers! Wake up! Wake up before your soul is snatched away and your body is handed over to the grave as I am going to be,' yet they can't hear you, since you can't really speak nor think. This is because when the angel of death took out your soul, all your senses at that point came to an end.

Kissing your face for the last time, they slowly begin to cover your face and your whole body. Now you resemble a cocoon; lying there as naked as the day you were born, and it is only these sheets which guard your respect, honour and dignity.

Time has come for the believers to pray over you for the first and the last time.

Yes: it's time for your funeral prayer.

*Download the complete PDF (Preparing The Muslimah For The Grave (PDF)) by following the link.

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Category: Death and the Grave

This day had seemed so far away. In fact, you had never quite come to terms with the idea of being a corpse, nor of the fact that you would be prayed over. Neither had you come to terms with the fact that a day will come when you will be entirely covered in white sheets by your own beloved ones.

Now it has come to light. As they carry you towards your funeral prayer, indeed this world was a transient exam that has now ended and bids you farewell… your futile pursuits were a waste and the small good deeds you had presented are now a treasure that you are unwilling to give up - even for the whole world and all it contains.

Four people carefully place your coffin upon their shoulders as they carefully escort it towards the car. The winds bid you farewell, blowing your way for the last time as the ground awaits your arrival. This is to be your very last ride to the masjid, after which they will take you to the cemetery in order to fulfil their duty of placing you in the grave which has already been dug; it awaits your presence to fill its dark and empty home...

They gently place you into the extraordinary car that has been hired. You’re unable to get yourself up and look outside the car window for the last time, so as to see your home, your street and the familiar surroundings you had become so accustomed to since childhood...

Death came and snatched you away so unexpectedly, little did you know that you will be seized from this world so soon. Your youthful appearance, your healthy lifestyle, your ambitions, aspirations and dreams all deceived you into believing your death wasn’t going to be any time soon.

How wrong you were.

***

Indeed, the greatest calamity we face is that the Noble Messenger is no longer amongst us, just as the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: 'If one of you is afflicted with a calamity, then let him remember his calamity by me (i.e., by my death); for indeed, it is the greatest of calamities.'{footnote}Related by Ibn Sa'd, al-Darimi, and others; through other narrations that attested to it, it is authentic, as mentioned in al-Sahihah (106): 2.{/footnote} Today the Noble Messenger is no longer alive to pray over you as he had prayed over the woman who used to clean the masjid.

But there is one question, which I earnestly ask you to ponder over: If the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) had been amongst us, would he have prayed over you?

For, in the time of the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), one man had stolen from the war booty and another had killed himself with an arrow – both of whom the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) did not pray the funeral prayer for and rather, ordered the Companions to pray over them.{footnote} Abu Dawood (2710), al-Nasaa’i (1959) and Ibn Maajah (2848).{/footnote} In fact, the great Imaam Ahmad (rahimahullah) would not offer the funeral prayer over the one that had died openly committing sins. Imaam Ahmad (rahimahullah) said: al-Majd (i.e. Majd al-Deen ibn Taymiyah, the grandfather of Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah) said that ‘The funeral prayer should not be offered for anyone who had died openly committing sin without having repented…’{footnote}Al-Insaaf (2/535){/footnote}

***

Today, you realize how the directive commands and incentives of the Prophet [saw] are a great blessing for the believers. For it is because of the following command of the Prophet [saw] that people attend your funeral:  “Whoever attends the funeral until the prayer has been offered will have one qiraat (of reward) and whoever attends until the deceased has been buried will have two qiraats.” It was said, “What are the two qiraats?” He said: “Like two great mountains.”{footnote}Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1325; Muslim, 945.{/footnote}

Many times you were reminded that the first question on the Day of Judgment will be regarding your prayer. Now the time is up; you are unable to join the believers in their prayers… you are unable to prostrate to the Almighty... you are no longer able to exalt, praise your Lord, you are unable to whisper words of forgiveness… your forehead can no longer prostrate, it merely faces upwards – it is only to face the Lord of the worlds and all that exists within them.

Your beloved friends and dear ones pick you up and place you in front of the Imaam, who is to lead the prayer. The believers come together in three rows behind the Imaam and they are all facing the Qiblah [direction to prayer]. The Imaam stands in front of the congregation, beside your shoulder. In one standing and within only a few minutes, they complete the prayer – without any sujood [prostration] or rukoo’ [bowing].

Within this short, yet precious prayer they whisper the du’aa [supplication] taught by Muhammad, al Mustafa [saw]. This du’aa [supplication] for you is one of the greatest gifts you can be given at this stage, as they whisper in Arabic:

“O Allah, forgive our living and our dead… O Allah, forgive him and have mercy on him, keep him safe and sound and forgive him, honor the place where he settles and make his entrance wide; wash him with water and snow and hail, and cleanse him of sin as a white garment is cleansed of dirt. O Allah, give him a house better than his house and a family better than his family. O Allah, admit him to Paradise and protect him from the torment of the grave and the torment of Hell-fire; make his grave spacious and fill it with light. O Allah, do not deprive us of the reward and do not cause us to go astray after this.”

Although the prayer was rather short, it holds immense value for you as you are in need of as many supplications as possible before a time comes when you will become as years pass apart of the earth and people forget your mention.

Now has come the time you had once dreaded – they gather round and lift you up… and each step they place on the earth, takes you closer to a home unlike any other…a small, murky excavation in the ground. The words of Uthmaan, the third Caliph of Islam, depicts a fact echoed silently by your lifeless body: ‘"If I were between Paradise and the Fire, unsure where I will be sent, I would choose to be turned into ash before finding out where I was bound."’{footnote}Abu Nu`aym, Hilya al-Awliya’ 1:92-100 #3; Al-Dhahabi, Siyar A`lam al-Nubala’ 1/2: 566-614 #4.{/footnote}

You can’t hear the crying of your loved ones or the final gentle whispers of the womenfolk of your household or friends, as the men get ready to place you into the car and drive you away to none other than the cemetery.

The moment is soon approaching when they are going to unload you into your new home, something they desire to do as soon as possible and without hesitation.

Yes: the depths of the earth… Your grave.

*Download the complete PDF (Preparing The Muslimah For The Grave (PDF)) by following the link.

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Category: Death and the Grave

The hard floor no longer bothers you, nor do the white sheets over your face feel claustrophobic.

You are unable to move your limbs so as to gesture towards those around you, to move the sheet from your face and allow you to breathe. For just as your breathing was limited, the time which you stayed on the face of this earth was also limited. This time for you has now run out.

All bodily satisfactions and delights of this fleeting abode have now ceased to hold any value. Ah! If only you had come to realise the deceitful nature of this world and the meagre existence you led in its abode.

As you lie there, motionless and wrapped up, people from both far and near have gathered to console your family, see you for the last time and leave you to your fate. It is not really you they have come to bid farewell, rather it is your corpse they bid farewell to. This is because the minute your soul was extracted from your body you no longer suitably come under the definition of a ‘person.’ Yes, you are now a corpse whose neighbouring friends are soon to be the various insects that mother earth contains - whose very womb you are fast-approaching...

No single matter is in your control now; your last moments in this world are quickly passing. The years you spent in this world now seem short; everything of this world has broken its link with you. As for your memories, then they too will stay for a time but soon they will be wiped out as generations pass by. Yes, even the dusty albums in the attic will soon be left unattended collecting more dust - only to be viewed rarely and even they too one day will be worthless, forgotten and lost.

***

The room is packed with family, friends, neighbours and even strangers, as they gather to take you to the masjid for your funeral prayer. You are unable to receive and greet them - let alone thank them - for coming to your funeral prayer, one of the five duties of a Muslim over another Muslim (Al-Bukhaari (1240) and Muslim (2162) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “The rights of one Muslim over another are five: returning the (greeting of) salaam, visiting the sick, attending funerals, accepting invitations and saying ‘Yarhamuk Allaah (may Allaah have mercy on you)’ to one who sneezes.”)

Some people you would never have expected to come have turned up for your funeral prayer, and others you would have expected to attend are... absent. Their excuses, whether valid or not, hold no significance for you at this point. Now the reality has surfaced: each soul will be given its due and no soul will avail another, unless Allah, the Glorious, Wills. How true the Words of Our Lord are! Then in the end unto Him will be your return. Then He will inform you of that which you used to do. (Surat al An’aam [6]:60)

What matters now is whether or not forty believing men have gathered for your funeral prayer, something which now holds weighty importance for you as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “There is no Muslim man who dies and forty men who do not associate anything with Allaah pray the funeral prayer for him, but Allaah will accept their intercession for him.” (Narrated by Muslim)

Some of your dear family members and friends cry nearby; if only they knew that more than their tears, you are in need of their supplications to the Lord of the heavens and the earth to make you pass the test awaiting you in the grave and to make easy your standing on the Day of Judgement in front of Allah, the Almighty, the Just and Swift in taking to account. If only you could arise and inform your friends and loved ones that what has happened to you will surely happen to them. That Allah, He is the Irresistible, Supreme over His slaves, and He sends guardians (angels guarding and writing all of one's good and bad deeds) over you, until when death approaches one of you, Our Messengers (angel of death and his assistants) take his soul, and they never neglect their duty. Then they are returned to Allâh, their Maulâ [true Master (God), the Just Lord (to reward them)]. Surely, His is the judgement and He is the Swiftest in taking account. (Surat al A’naam [6]:61-62)

In the room in which your dead body lies, people are murmuring and whispering with one another. Even outside people are standing in circles with their heads lowered and in deep discussion. If only you could come secretly and listen to what they are saying, for their discussions will play a vital role in determining where your next home is. This is because Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A funeral passed by and they spoke well of him, and the Prophet (may the Peace and Blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is guaranteed.” Then another passed by and they spoke ill of him, and he said: “It is guaranteed.” ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “What is guaranteed?” He said: “The one of whom you spoke well, Paradise is guaranteed for him, and the one of whom you spoke ill, Hell is guaranteed for him. You are the witnesses of Allaah on earth.” (Agreed upon)

Today, you are in need of the praises of people and their recognition of any good you performed. But do you know what the most worrying thing is? You have no control over who says what. In truth, even if you could listen to their conversation, your time has now finished and you can no longer go back in time and fix your past record. You cannot multiply the good deeds you have done - even if you earnestly desire to do so...

You are at fault; the words of Allah [azza wa jall] were present within the copy of the Qur’aan that lay for months on your bookshelf without being read. If only you had realised that an appointed term awaited you, if only you had realised that the pursuit, aspiration and desire for Paradise will surely be rewarded by the Most High: And no person can ever die except by Allah’s leave and at an appointed term. And whoever desires a reward in (this) world, We shall give him of it; and whoever desires a reward in the Hereafter, We shall give him thereof... (Surat aal Imraan [3]:145)

Today, the truth is evident and manifest: “...and whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing).” (Surat aal Imraan [3]:185)

The believers gather to pray your first and final funeral prayer, whilst your non-Muslim friends leave you to your fate as they go back home and accept that you will no longer be around.

Yes, you will not pray but will be prayed over.

*Download the complete PDF (Preparing The Muslimah For The Grave (PDF)) by following the link.

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Category: Death and the Grave

"Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children. (It is) like a rain (Ghayth), thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw. But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment, and (there is) forgiveness from Allah and (His) pleasure. And the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment." [57:20] Allah the Exalted degrades the significance of this life and belittles it by saying "that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children."

Meaning, this is the significance of this life to its people, just as He said in another Ayah,

"Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world's life; but Allah has the excellent return with Him." (3:14)

Allah the Exalted also sets a parable for this life, declaring that its joys are fading and its delights are perishable, saying that life is,

"Like a rain (Ghayth)," which is the rain that comes down to mankind, after they had felt despair. Allah the Exalted said in another Ayah,

"And He is it Who sends down the Ghayth (rain) after they have despaired." (42:28)

Allah's statement, "thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller" meaning that farmers admire the vegetation that grows in the aftermath of rain. And just as farmers admire vegetation, the disbelievers admire this life; they are the most eager to acquire the traits of life, and life is most dear to them, "afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw."

Meaning, that vegetation soon turns yellow in color, after being fresh and green. After that, the green fades away and becomes scattered pieces of dust. This is the parable of this worldly life, it starts young, then matures and then turns old and feeble. This is also the parable of mankind in this life; they are young and strong in the beginning. In this stage of life, they look youthful and handsome. Slowly, they begin growing older, their mannerism changes and their strength weakens. They then grow old and feeble; moving becomes difficult for them, while doing easy things becomes beyond their ability. Allah the Exalted said, "Allah is He Who created you in (a state of) weakness, then gave you strength after weakness, then after strength gave (you) weakness and gray hair. He creates what He wills. And He is the All-Knowing, the All-Powerful." (30:54)

This parable indicates the near demise of this life and the imminent end of it, while in contrast, the Hereafter is surely coming. Those who hear this parable should, therefore, be aware of the significance of the Hereafter and feel eagerness in the goodness that it contains,

"But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment, and (there is) forgiveness from Allah and (His) pleasure. And the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment."

Meaning, surely, the Hereafter that will certainly come contains two things either severe punishment or forgiveness from Allah and His good pleasure.

Allah the Exalted said, "And the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment."

Meaning, this life is only a form of enjoyment that deceives those who incline to it. Surely, those who recline to this life will admire it and feel that it is dear to them, so much so, that they might think that this is the only life, no life or dwelling after it.

Yet, in reality, this life is insignificant as compared to the Hereafter.