Modesty

Details: Category: Modesty

stillnessofnight88 What follows are some of the results of a study on mixing undertaken by some Muslim social science researchers.

When we put the following question: 'What is the Islamic ruling on mixing as far as you know?' The results were as follows:

76% of respondents said “It is not permitted.”
12% said, “It is permitted” – but moral, religious, etc. restrictions apply…
12% said, “I don’t know.”

Question: 'If you had the choice between working in a mixed workplace and working in another where there was no mixing, which would you choose?'

The responses to this question were as follows:

76% would choose the workplace where there was no mixing.
9% preferred the mixed workplace.
15% would accept any workplace which suited their specialties, regardless of whether it was mixed or not.

Very embarrassing

Question: 'Have any embarrassing situations ever happened to you because of mixing?'

Among the embarrassing moments mentioned by respondents in this study were the following:

Short True Stories (1)

I was at work one day, and I went into one department where one of my female colleagues who wears hijaab had taken off her hijaab in front of her female colleagues. My entrance took her by surprise and I was very embarrassed as a result.

I had to do an experiment in the lab at university, but I was absent on the day of the experiment. I had to go to the lab on the following day, and I found myself the only male among a group of female students, in addition to a female teacher and a female lab technician. I was very embarrassed and felt very awkward with all those female eyes glaring at me.

I was trying to take a feminine towel out of one of the drawers when I was surprised by a male colleague standing behind me, who wanted to take something from his own private drawer. He noticed that I was embarrassed and he left the room quickly to avoid my embarrassment.

It so happened that one of the girls at the university bumped into me when turning a corner in a crowded corridor. She was walking quickly, going to one of the lectures. As a result of this collision, she lost her balance, and I caught her in my arms, as if I was embracing her. You can imagine how embarrassed I and this girl felt in front of a group of careless young people.

One of my female colleagues fell on the stairs in the university and her clothes fell open in an extremely embarrassing fashion. She landed upside down and could not help herself; the young men standing nearby had no option but to cover her and help her to get up.

I work in a company and I went in to give some papers to my boss. When I was going out, my boss called me back. I turned around and saw him with his face turned away. I was waiting for him to ask me for a file or for more papers, and I was surprised by his hesitancy. I turned away to the left side of his office, pretending to be busy with something, and he spoke to me at the same time. I thought that this boss would say anything except what he actually said, which was to point out that my garment was stained with menstrual blood. Can the earth open up and swallow a human being at the moment of making sincere supplication? For I prayed that the earth would open up and swallow me.

A True Story (2)

Umm Muhammad, a mature woman over the age of 40, tells her story.

I lived a life of modest means with my husband. There was never any closeness and harmony, and my husband did not have the kind of strong personality that a woman would hope for, but his good nature made me overlook the fact that I was the one who was responsible for most of the decision making in the family.

My husband often used to mention the name of his friend and business partner, and he would talk about him in my presence, and I often used to meet with him in his office which was originally part of our apartment. This went on for many years, until circumstances led to us exchanging visits with this person and his family. These family visits were repeated and because of his close friendship with my husband, we did not notice how the number of visits increased and how many hours a single visit would last. He often used to come on his own to sit with us, me and my husband, for long visits. My husband’s trust in him knew no bounds, and as days passed I got to know this person very well, and saw how wonderful and decent he was. I began to feel a strong attraction towards this man, and at the same time I began to sense that the feeling was mutual.

Things took a strange turn after that, when I realized that this man was the kind of person I had always dreamed about. Why had he come along now, after all these years? The more this man’s status increased in my eyes, the more my husband’s status diminished. It was as if I had needed to see the beauty of his character in order to discover how ugly my husband’s character was.

The matter between this person and myself did not go beyond these persistent thoughts which were occupying my mind night and day. Neither he nor I ever voiced what we felt in our hearts… until today. Yet despite that my life is over and my husband is little more than a weak man with no self-esteem. I hate him and I do not know how all this hatred towards him started to boil over. I wonder how I put up with him all these years, bearing all these burdens by myself, facing life’s problems on my own.

Things got so bad that I asked him for a divorce, and he divorced me at my request. After that he became a broken man. Even worse than that is that after my marriage was wrecked and my children and husband were devastated, problems arose in this man's family. His wife, with her feminine intuition, realized what had been going on in his heart of hearts, and his life became hell. She was overwhelmed with jealousy to the extent that one night she left her house at 2 a.m. and came to attack my house, screaming, weeping and hurling accusations. His marriage was also about to collapse.

I admit that the lovely gatherings which we used to enjoy gave us the opportunity to get to know one another at a time that was not appropriate at this stage in our lives.

His marriage has been wrecked and so has mine. I have lost everything, and now I know that my circumstances and his will not permit us to take any positive step towards coming together. Now I am more miserable than I have ever been, and I am looking for illusionary happiness and lost hopes.

A True Story (3)

Umm Ahmad tells us:

My husband had a group of married friends, and because of our close friendship with them, we used to get together with them once a week in one of our houses, to enjoy an evening of chat.

Deep down in my heart I was never really comfortable with the atmosphere in which we would have dinner, sweets, snacks and drinks of juice accompanied by waves of laughter because of the jokes and chit-chats that often went beyond the bounds of good manners.

In the name of friendship, the barriers were lifted and every now and then one would hear suppressed laughter between a woman and the husband of another woman. The jokes were too much, dealing – with no sense of shyness –with sensitive topics such as sex and women’s private matters. This was usual and was even accepted and regarded as desirable.

Although I indulged in these things along with them, my conscience made me feel guilty. Then the day came when it became quite clear just how ugly and filthy this atmosphere was.

The telephone rang, and I heard the voice of one of the friends in this group. I said hello to him and apologized that my husband was not home. He replied that he knew that, and that he was calling to speak to me! After he suggested starting a relationship with me, I got very angry and spoke harshly to him and cursed him. All he could do was laugh and say, “Don’t try and show these good manners to me; go and check on your husband’s good manners and see what he is doing…” I was devastated by what he said, but I pulled myself together and said to myself, this person is only trying to cause the break up of your marriage. But he succeeded in planting the seeds of doubt concerning my husband.

Shortly after that, the major disaster struck. I discovered that my husband was cheating on me with another woman. It was the matter of life or death as far as I was concerned. I found my husband out and I confronted him, saying: “You are not the only one who can have a relationship. I have received a similar proposition.” And I told him all about his friend. He was stunned and absolutely shocked. (I said:) “If you want me to respond in kind to your relationship with that woman, then this is for that, tit-for-tat.” This was a huge slap in the face for him. He knew that I did not intend to do that in reality, but he realized the great disaster that had befallen our lives and the immoral atmosphere in which we were living. I suffered a great deal until my husband finally left that loose woman with whom he was having a relationship, as he admitted to me. Yes, he left her and came back to his family and children, but how can I ever feel the same towards him as I used to? Who will restore respect for him in my heart? This huge wound in my heart is still bleeding out of regret and rage at that filthy atmosphere; it still bears testimony to the fact that what they call innocent get-togethers are in reality anything but innocent. My heart still begs for mercy from the Lord of Glory.

A True Story (4)

‘Abd al-Fattaah says:

I work as the head of department in one of the big companies. For a long time I admired one of my female colleagues, not for her beauty, but for her serious attitude towards her work, her intelligence and her excellent achievements – in addition to the fact that she was a decent and modest person who focused only on her work. This admiration turned into attachment, and I am a married man who fears Allaah and never misses any obligatory prayer. I expressed my feelings to her and she rebuffed me. She is married and has children as well. She sees no reason why I should have any kind of relationship with her, whether it be friendship, as work colleagues or based on admiration… etc. Evil thoughts come to me sometimes, and deep down I wish that her husband would divorce her so that I could get her.

I started to put pressure on her at work and put her down in front of my bosses. Perhaps this was a form of revenge on my part, but she accepted it with good manners and did not complain or comment. She works and works; her performance speaks of her quality, and she knows this well. The more she resisted me, the stronger my infatuation grew.

I am not a person who is easily tempted by women, because I fear Allaah and I do not overstep the mark with them and go beyond what is required by my work. But this woman attracted me. What is the solution?… I do not know.

A True Story (5)

N.A.A., a nineteen-year-old girl, tells us:

At that time I was a little girl. My innocent eyes watched those evening get-togethers when family friends would meet in the house. What I remember is that I could only see one man, who was my father. I watched him as he moved about the room, how his glances would devour the women present, looking at their thighs and chests, admiring this one’s eyes, that one’s hair, the other’s hips. My poor mother had no choice but to take care of these get-togethers. She was a very simple lady.

Among the women present there was one woman who would deliberately try to attract my father’s attention, sometimes by coming close to him, and sometimes by making enticing movements. I would watch this with concern, whilst my mother was busy in the kitchen for the sake of her guests.

These gatherings stopped suddenly and I tried, young as I was, to understand and make sense of what had happened, but I could not.

What I remember was that my mother collapsed completely at that time, and she could not stand to hear my father’s name mentioned in the house. I used to hear mysterious words whispered by the adults around me: “Betrayal… bedroom… she saw them with her own eyes… despicable woman… in a very shameful position…” etc. These were the key words which only the adults could understand.

I grew up and came to understand, and I bore a grudge against all men. All of them were treacherous. My mother was a broken woman and accused every woman who came to us of being a man-snatcher who wanted to make my father fall into her trap. My father hasn’t changed. He is still practising his favourite hobby of chasing women, but now he does it outside the home. Now I am nineteen years old and I know lots of young men. I feel great pleasure in taking revenge on them, because every one of them is an exact copy of my father. I tempt them and entice them, without letting them get anywhere near me. They follow me in gatherings and in the marketplaces because of my movements and deliberate gestures. Sometimes my phone never stops ringing and I feel proud of what I do to avenge the sex of Hawwa’ and my mother. But sometimes I feel so miserable and such a failure that it almost chokes me. My life is shadowed by a huge dark cloud, and its name is my father.

A True Story (6)

S.N.A. tells of her experience:

I never imagined that my work circumstances would force me to be in contact with the opposite sex (men), but this in fact is what happened…

In the beginning, I used to cover and screen myself from men by wearing niqaab (face-veil), but some of the sisters advised me that this dress was attracting more attention to my presence, and it would be better for me to take off the niqaab, especially since my eyes were somewhat attractive. So I removed the cover from my face, thinking that this was better. But by continuing to mix with my colleagues, I discovered that I was the odd one out because of my antisocial attitude and my insistence on not joining in the conversation and chatting with others. Everyone was wary of this “lone-wolf” woman (as they saw me), and this is what was stated clearly by one person who affirmed that he would not want to deal with such a snooty and stand-offish character. But I knew that I was the opposite, in fact, and I decided that I would not oppress myself and put myself in a difficult position with my colleagues. So I started to join in their chats and exchanges of anecdotes, and they all discovered that I could speak eloquently and persuasively, and that I could influence others. I could also speak in a manner that was determined yet at the same time was attractive to some of my colleagues. It was not long before I noticed some changes in the expression of my direct supervisor; with some embarrassment, he was enjoying the way I spoke and moved, and he would deliberately bring up topics in the conversation where I would see that hateful look in his eyes. I do not deny the fact that I started to entertain some thoughts about this man. I found it astonishing that a man could fall so easily into the trap of a woman who was religiously committed, so how must it be in the case of women who adorn themselves and invite men to commit immoral actions? In fact, I did not think of him in any way which went beyond the bounds of sharee’ah, but he did occupy a space in my thoughts for quite some time. But soon my self-respect made me reject the idea of being a source of enjoyment for this man in any way, shape or form, even if it was only psychological in nature, and I stopped getting involved in any kind of work that would force me to sit alone with him. In the end, I reached the following conclusions:

1- Attraction between the sexes can occur in any circumstances, no matter how much men and women may deny that. The attraction may start within the bounds of sharee’ah and end up going beyond those bounds.

Even if a person protects himself (by marriage), he is not safe from the snares of the Shaytaan.

3- Even though a person may be able to guarantee himself and he works with the opposite sex within reasonable limits, he cannot guarantee the feelings of the other party.

Finally, there is nothing good in mixing and it does not bear fruit as they claim. On the contrary, it corrupts sound thinking.

What now?

We may ask, what comes next, after this discussion on the matter of mixing?

It’s about time for us to recognize that no matter how we try to beautify the issue of mixing and take the matter lightly, its consequences are bound to catch up with us, and the harm it causes will have disastrous results for our families. Sound common sense refuses to accept that mixing is a healthy atmosphere for human relations. This is the sound common sense which made most of the people included in this survey (76%) prefer working in a non-mixed environment. The same percentage (76%) said that mixing is not permitted according to the sharee’ah. What makes us sit up and take notice is not this honourable percentage – which indicates the purity of our Islamic society and the cleanness of its members’ hearts – but the small number who said that mixing is permitted; they number 12%. This group, with no exceptions, said that mixing is permitted but within the limits set by religion, custom (‘urf), traditions, good manners, conscience, modesty, covering and other worthy values which, in their opinion, keep mixing within proper limits.

We ask them: Is the mixing which we see nowadays in our universities, market-places, work-places and family and social gatherings, taking place within the limits referred to above? Or are these places filled with transgressions in terms of clothing, speech, interactions and behaviour? We see wanton displays of adornment (tabarruj), not proper covering; we see fitnah (temptations) and dubious relationships, with no good manners and no conscience and no covering. We can conclude that the kind of mixing that is happening nowadays is unacceptable even to those who approve of mixing in a clean atmosphere.

It’s about time for us to recognize that mixing provides a fertile breeding-ground for social poisons to invade and take over our society without anyone ever realizing that it is mixing which is the cause. Mixing is the prime element in this silent fitnah, in the shade of which betrayals erupt, homes are wrecked and hearts are broken.

We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound, and to reform our society. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Related Article:

The Prohibition of Free-Mixing by Shaykh Munajjid

Details: Category: Modesty

turqoiuseflowerglowing The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of men and women in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari'ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing.

Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are:

Verse No. 53 of Surat al-Ahzab, or the Confederates (Interpretation of the meaning); "...for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs..."

In explaining this Verse, Ibn Kathir (May Allaah have mercy on him) said:

"Meaning, as I forbade you to enter their rooms, I forbid you to look at them at all. If one wants to take something from a woman, one should do so without looking at her. If one wants to ask a woman for something, the same has to be done from behind a screen."

The Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah’s Messenger (may peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (may peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart. (Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793).

Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (may peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said:

"Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died."

(Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".)

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (may peace and blessings be upon him) said: ""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first." (Narrated by Muslim under No. 664)

This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The further the men are from the women’s rows, the better, and vice versa.

niqab7802

If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a Masjid, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq.")

We know that the intermingling, mixing and crowding together of men and women is part of today’s unavoidable yet regrettable affliction in most places, such as markets, hospitals, colleges, etc., but:

We will not willfully choose or accept mixing and crowding, particularly in religious classes and council meetings in Islamic Centers.

We take precautions to avoid meeting and mixing of men and women as much as possible while at the same time achieving desired goals and objectives. This result can be achieved by designating separate places assigned for men and women, using different doors for each, utilizing modern means of communication such as microphones, video recorders etc., and expediting efforts to have enough female teachers to teach women, etc.

We show fear of Allaah as much as we can by not looking at members of the opposite sex and by applying self-restraint.

Details: Category: Modesty

niqab788 Allâh, the Exalted said, “Say to the believing men that they should lower their sight and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them. Indeed Allâh is well acquainted with all that they do.” [an-Nûr (24):30]

So Allâh made purification and spiritual growth to be the outcome of lowering the sight and guarding the private parts. It is for this reason that lowering one’s sight from (seeing) the prohibited things necessarily leads to three benefits that carry tremendous value and are of great significance.

THE FIRST: Experiencing The Delight And Sweetness Of Faith

This delight and sweetness is far greater and more desirable that which might have been attained from the object that one lowered his sight from for the sake of Allâh. Indeed, “Whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allâh then Allâh, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than it.”[1]

The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart. The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as is said:

When you sent your eye as a guide

For your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you

For you saw one over whom you had no power

Neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.

Therefore when the sight is prevented from looking and investigating the heart finds relief from having to go through the arduous task of (vainly) seeking and desiring.

Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love (mahabbah) the starting point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds. This then intensifies to become fervent longing (sabâbah) whereby the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the (object of its desire). Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation (gharâmah) which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt. Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love (‘ishq) and this is a love that transgresses all bounds. Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passion (shaghafa) and this is a love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart. Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love (tatayyuma). Tatayyum means worship and it is said: tayyama Allâh i.e. he worshipped Allâh.

Hence the heart begins to worship that which is not correct for it to worship and the reason behind all of this was an illegal glance. The heart is now bound in chains whereas before it used to be the master, it is now imprisoned whereas before it was free. It has been oppressed by the eye and it complains to it upon which the eye replies: I am your guide and messenger and it was you who sent me in the first place!

All that has been mentioned applies to the heart that has relinquished the love of Allâh and being sincere to Him for indeed the heart must have an object of love that it devotes itself to. Therefore when the heart does not love Allâh Alone and does not take Him as its God then it must worship something else.

Allâh said concerning Yûsuf as-Siddîq (AS), “Thus (did We order) so that We might turn away from him all evil and indecent actions for he was one of Our sincere servants.” [Yûsuf (12):24]

It was because the wife of al-‘Azîz was a polytheist that (the passionate love) entered her heart despite her being married. It was because Yûsuf (AS) was sincere to Allâh that he was saved from it despite his being a young man, unmarried and a servant.

THE SECOND: The Illumination Of The Heart, Clear Perception And Penetrating Insight

Ibn Shujâ' Al-Kirmânî said,

“Whosoever builds his outward form upon following the Sunnah, his internal form upon perpetual contemplation and awareness of Allâh, he restrains his soul from following desires, he lowers his gaze from the forbidden things and he always eats the lawful things then his perception and insight shall never be wrong.”

Allâh mentioned the people of Lût and what they were afflicted with and then He went on to say, “Indeed in this are signs for the Mutawassimîn.” [al-Hijr (15):75]

The Mutwassimîn are those who have clear perception and penetrating insight, those who are secure from looking at the unlawful and performing indecent acts.

Allâh said after mentioning the verse concerning lowering the sight, “Allâh is the Light of the heavens and the earth.” [an-Nûr (24):35]

The reason behind this is that the reward is of the same type as the action. So whosoever lowers his sight from the unlawful for the sake of Allâh, the Mighty and Magnificent, He will replace it with something better than it of the same type. So just as the servant restrained the light of his eye from falling upon the unlawful, Allâh blesses the light of his sight and heart thereby making him perceive what he would not have seen and understood had he not lowered his sight.

This is a matter that the person can physically sense in himself for the heart is like a mirror and the base desires are like rust upon it. When the mirror is polished and cleaned of the rust then it will reflect the realities (haqâ‘iq) as they actually are. However if it remains rusty then it will not reflect properly and therefore its knowledge and speech will arise from conjecture and doubt. (Related article: The Station of Firaasah)

THE THIRD: The Heart Becoming Strong, Firm And Courageous

Allâh will give it the might of aid for its strength just as He gave it the might of clear proofs for its light. Hence the heart shall combine both of these factors and as a result, Shaytân shall flee from it. Someone said,

“Whosoever opposes his base desires, the Shaytân shall flee in terror from his shade.”[2]

This is why the one who follows his base desires shall find in himself the ignominy of the soul, its being weak, feeble and contemptible. Indeed Allâh places nobility for the one who obeys Him and disgrace for the one who disobeys Him,

“So do not lose heart nor fall into despair; for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith.” [Äli Imrân (3):139]

“If any do seek for nobility and power then to Allâh belongs all nobility and power.” [Fâtir (35):10]

Meaning that whosoever seeks after disobedience and sin then Allâh, the Might and Magnificent, will humiliate the one who disobeys Him.

Some of the salaf said,

“The people seek nobility and power at the door of the Kings and they will not find it except through the obedience of Allâh.”

This is because the one who obeys Allâh has taken Allâh as his friend and protector and Allâh will never humiliate the one who takes his Lord as friend and patron. In the Du‘â Qunût their occurs,

“The one who You take as a friend is not humiliated and the one who You take as an enemy is not ennobled.”[3]

__________________

[1] Reported by Ahmad [5/363], al-Marwazî in ‘Zawâ`id az-Zuhd’ [no. 412], an-Nasâ`î in ‘al-Kubrâ’ as mentioned in ‘Tuhfah al-Ashrâf’ [11/199] from one of the Companions that the Messenger of Allâh said, “indeed you will not leave anything for the sake of Allâh except that Allâh will replace it with something better than it.” The isnâd is sahîh.
[2] This is not established as a hadîth of the Prophet .
[3] Reported by Abû Dâwûd [Eng. Trans. 1/374 no. 1420], an-Nasâ`î [3/248], at-Tirmidhî [no. 464], ibn Mâjah [no. 1178], ad-Dârimî [1/311], Ahmad [1/199], ibn Khuzaymah [2/151] from al Hasan from Alî (RA). The hadîth is sahîh. The isnâd has been criticised by many, however none of the criticisms hold. Refer to: ‘Nasb ar-Râyah’ [2/125] and ‘Talkhîs al-Habîr’ [1/247]

Details: Category: Modesty

houseonfire Note: This is not meant to be a generalization about Muslim women, if it applies to you then take benefit, if it does not then use it to assist others who it might apply to, but do not take offence as that is not my intention. I debated with myself for many months on whether to write about this topic or not. It is a controversial issue and many people might misunderstand the article. Nonetheless, recent developments in the lives of some Shuyookh that I know personally made me realize the importance of writing about this topic.

When I first began studying Islam and getting involved in Islamic work, one of the major motivators for me was that this field would keep me away from the fitnah of the opposite gender. For every young man and woman, one of the greatest trials we face is dealing with members of the opposite gender without falling into sin. Originally, and it was naive of me, I thought Islamic work would put me in a position in which I would not have to deal with these situations. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

There is a trend among contemporary, practicing Muslims which I find rather disturbing, this trend is what I call a “Shaykhy Crush”. I have noticed at many Islamic events, from classes to conferences, practicing Muslim women who follow the Deen in dress and Ibadah, developing crushes and falling in love with the speakers and teachers. This has led to many dangerous scenarios.

The following are a few real life examples I have encountered:

1) At an Islamic course, some sisters were discussing how handsome the Shaykh is. When an elderly sister told them not to talk about him like that as he is married, they responded,

“So what? We can still marry him,” and continued their discussion.

2) At an Islamic conference, many sisters were not discussing the content of the lectures but how beautiful the Imam sounded with his gorgeous French accent, or how “handsome and sweet” the another Shaykh’s smile was.

"It melts my heart” were words I heard.

3) Recently, a Shaykh took a second wife, this triggered a discussion online between sisters who admitted they were “going gaga” over him and wished they were his second wife.

4) A sister recently told a Shaykh that she is no longer satisfied with her husband as she is only attracted to students of knowledge now. A married sister told her teacher that she is unsatisfied with her husband and had a dream that she was married to him.

5) A Shaykh deleted his Facebook account because married women on Facebook were claiming to have fallen in love with him.

These are just few of many such incidents that I have encountered in this field. As to what is the cause of this, Allah knows best. Perhaps some of our sisters can shed some light on this for us in the comments section. It could be that studying Islam has been glamorized and students of knowledge are treated like celebrities or it could be that some Shuyookh unintentionally do things that attract women. Many times these feelings may be natural as Muslim women may see an ideal man in a married teacher of knowledge but acting upon this feelings is unwise. Furthermore, social engineering promoted by sites like Facebook makes behavior, like comments, that would never be acceptable face to face, seem normal. We have to remember that there is still a human behind that ‘wall’, with a family. I do not know the exact causes but this is definitely a growing problem in Western countries.

The problems that arise from this situation are multiple; here are some of the major issues:

1) Corruption of a student of knowledge’s intentions. We, students, are human and love women just as much as the next man (I’m going to get in trouble for saying that), so when we are trying to teach Islam and keep ourselves and our thoughts chaste, the female fans don’t make it easy for us. I noticed many students of knowledge starting to dress smarter and act differently when they realize they have the attention of the single sisters and there is a major chance that this can affect their intention of teaching for the sake of Allah.

2) Too many single sisters want to marry a Shaykh, and some begin to consider polygamy. The problem here is that the Shaykh might not be interested in such a relationship, and in an extreme case or two, a Shaykh rejecting such a notion has led to jealousy and harassment of the Shaykh and his wife.

3) Married sisters begin to develop crushes on their teachers and start to compare their husbands to the teacher, which leads to dissatisfaction in their marriage and eventually marital conflicts.

4) Sometimes the Shaykh and his wife have a happy marital life until a sister (or two) ask him if he wants a second wife, without considering his current wife’s feelings. This can cause problems between the Shaykh and his wife, as well as jealousy and could lead to the breakdown of a once-happy marriage.

5) There is always the potential danger of Zina, even with students of knowledge especially if the attraction is mutual.

These are just some of the negative consequences of this trend. I would like to conclude with some advice for both the sisters and the Shaykhs.

Advice to sisters who are seeking knowledge:

1) Lower your gaze: Remember that he is your teacher, a man of Islamic knowledge and a married man too. So look at him with respect, not desire.

2) Purify your intentions: When attending a lecture, make a sincere intention to learn and benefit from the teacher for the sake of Allah, and do not attend just because Shaykh Yusuf is teaching and you love the sound of his voice. I do not want to discourage any sister from seeking knowledge, just gently reminding them of Shaytan’s plot.

3) Walk in her shoes: Think about his wife and her feelings and do not say or do anything that could cause a problem in their marriage.

4) Choose a husband realistically:Not every woman can marry a Shaykh, so focus on finding a good Muslim man who will care for you and do not compare him to the Shuyookh. Find a good guy and thank Allah for allowing you to marry him and appreciate his efforts to please you.

5) Modesty is key: Remember that talking about how handsome the Shaykh is against haya and not befitting students of knowledge to discuss their teacher in such a manner with each other.

Advice to young Shuyookh in dealing with this Fitnah:

1) Lower Your Gaze: Do not look at the sisters in the audience too much. Focus your gaze on the men in your audience. If there is a sister who attracts you or you know is attracted to you, do not look at her at all (without being rude or disrespectful).

2) Purify Your Intention: Always remember that you are teaching for the sake of Allah and not to attract a female fan club so behave appropriately and modestly.

3) Avoid any unnecessary interaction with women. Do not keep single sisters on your instant messenger contact list, or talk to them for hours on the phone, and if they catch you in the hallway to ask a question, keep it brief, polite and to the point.

4) Think about your wife: Anytime you are attracted to a student of yours, think about your wife and everything she does for you. Think about her sacrifices and this will fill you with guilt for even feeling such attraction to another woman.

5) Dress up better for your wife than others: It should not be such that whenever you go out to teach a class, you are dressed in your best thowb with your best Itr, while at home you do not bother looking (or smelling good) for your wife. Remember the example of Ibn Abbas and deal with your wife accordingly.

6) Get married: If you are serious about polygamy, do it the right way so that people do not gossip or spread rumors about you and you avoid breaking any sister’s heart.

I hope these tips help us all to remain firm on the straight path. Remember the devils spend more time trying to mislead those who are walking the righteous path and so we need to be careful of these pitfalls of Shaytaan in which he tries to use our good deeds (teaching, studying) to lead us to commit sins.

Anything good I have said is from Allah, and any mistakes are my own and we seek refuge in Allah from giving wrong advice and from all forms of fitnah.

Details: Category: Modesty

polynesian-sun-set Firaasah is a sense of visual acumen, perception and insight. Allah says, "Surely! In this are the signs for the mutawassimeen." [15:75]

And with the regard to the meaning of mutawassimeen, here is what some of the great interpreters of the Qur'an said about it: Mujahid said it is "those who have visual acuity". Ibn Abbas said that it means "those who watch closely". Qatadah said that it means "those who learn the lessons". And Muqatel said that it means "those who reflect". There is no contradiction or apparent incompatibility amongst these interpretations. For example, one who sees the ruins and houses of those who belied Allah's Messengers would receive insight, admonition and reflection.

Alllah, subhanahu wa ta`ala, says the following with the regards to the hypocrites, "Had He willed, We could have shown them to you and you would have known them by their marks, but surely you will know them by the lahn of the speech!" [47:30]

The first thing mentioned is the firaasah of the eye and watching and the second thing noted is the firaasah of the ear and hearing. The lahn of their speech is namely two varieties. One is proper and the other is wrong.

The proper lahn may mean eloquence as stated in the hadeeth: "And perhaps some of you are more eloquent in their claim than others." (Bukhari and Muslim) Or it may mean an indirect reference or indication. The wrong lahn is the speech that has grammatical mistakes. By using it, people tend to change the meaning to something incorrect or to a hidden meaning which may not have been intended.

The meaning of the verse is that Allah has confirmed to His Prophet, sallallahu `alayhe wa sallam, that he would know them from the lahn of their speech. It is more likely that one may know more about the speaker and what is within his mind from his speech and the tone of his voice than from his physical appearance. The words and the tone of voice can tell much more, than the appearance, about the intention of the speaker. Firaasah can be either visual or auditory. The Prophet, sallallahu `alayhe wa sallam, is reported to have said, "Beware of the firaasah of the believer, for he sees with the light of Allah," then he recited the verse, "Surely! In this are the signs for the mutawassimeen." [15:75] (Tirmidhi) The firaasah of the believer is always truthful.

niqab788 The firaasah is a light which Allah, subhanahu wa ta`ala, deposits in the heart of His servant. By this light, His servant distinguishes between truth and falsehood and between right and wrong.

The reality of firasah is a sharp thought that enters the heart and dominates its opinion. It overwhelms the heart just as the lion does to its pray, fareesah. Note the similarity between firaasah and fareesah in Arabic. However, in their linguistic forms, fareesah is an object whereas firasah is similar in form to wilaayah (authority and power), imaarah (authority and command) and siyaasah (administration and leadership).

The strength of firaasah is dependent on the strength of faith. A person with stronger faith has sharper firaasah. Amr bin Nujaid said that Shah al-Kermani had sharp firaasah and was never wrong. He also used to say that whoever lowers his gaze away from prohibitions, restrains himself from vain desires, constructs his interior according to muraaqabah (knowledge that Allah is watching over us), his exterior according to the Sunnah, and accustoms himself to eat only halaal, his firaasah will never be wrong.

Ibn Masoud said,

"There are three people with the sharpest firaasah. The Egyptian who bought Yusuf and then said to his wife, 'Make his stay comfortable, maybe he will profit for us or we shall adopt him as a son.' [12:21]. The other was the daughter of Shuaib, who said to her father with regards to Musa, 'Hire him!' [28:26] And Abu Bakr, for he appointed Omar as his successor."

Another narration includes the wife of Pharaoh who said about Musa, "A comfort of the eye for me and for you. Kill him not, perhaps he may be of benefit to us, or we may adopt him as a son.' [28:9]

Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq is considered to be the one with the greatest firasah in the ummah and Umar was the second. The incidents that prove Umar's firasah are numerous, familiar and well-known. He never said with regards to anything, "I think this is so," but it was what he thought. The fact that the Quran approved of his opinions in many incidents is sufficient evidence of his sharp firaasah. One of which was his opinion regarding the redemption of the captives from the Battle of Badr.

Once a man named Sawad Bin Qarib passed by and Umar dind't know him. Umar said,

"This is either a soothsayer or he was so in the days of jahiliyyah."

Upon sitting before Umar, Sawad said, "O commander of the faithful! You never received any of your guests the way you did me." Umar said,

"What we used to do in the days of jahiliyyah is worse than this. But tell me about what I have asked you."

Sawad said, "You were true, O commander of the faithful! I was a soothsayer in the days of jahiliyyah, then he told him the story."

The sahabah, in general, had the most accurate and sharpest firaasah. The true firaasah is obtained from life and from the light Allah grants to whom He wishes from amongst His true servants. The heart receives life and light and then its firaasah will almost never be wrong. Allah says, "Is he who was dead and We gave him life and set for him a light whereby he can walk amongst men, like him who is in the darkness from which he can never come out?" [6:122]

The verse describes the person as "dead" because of the disbelief in his heart and the life of jahiliyyah or ignorance he was leading, but then Allah gave him life through emaan or faith of knowledge. Upon his acceptance of these gifts, the Qur'an and faith become the light by which he sees his way out of the darkness (of disbelief and ignorance) and onto the straight path.

Firaasah is linked to three human organs: the eye, ear and heart. His eye examines the look and the signs, his ear examines the speech, the over expressions, oblique inferences and hints, content, logic and tone of voice. And his heart analyzes both what is seen and hear to perceive hidden thoughts of others. His analysis and examination of the interior compared to the exterior is like one who examines currency to see if it is counterfeit after examining the outside. It is also similar to Ahlul-Hadeeth (scholars who specialize in the knowledge of the hadeeth), who will read a hadeeth that has a sound isnaad (chain of narrators) but upon examination of the matn (text of the hadeeth), it is found that it is a fabricated hadeeth.

There are two factors in firaasah. One is the quality of one's mind, the sharpness of the heart and the intelligence. The second is the appearance of the signs and indications on others. When both factors are present than one's firaasah may not be wrong. Iyaas bin Mu`awiyah had great firaasah and he was well-known because of it, as was Imaam Shaafi'ee who was also reported to have written about it.