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Category: Enthusiasm and Zeal

1. Write down a weekly schedule of the dishes you intend to make – no more stress to think about WHAT you have to cook. Let everyone contribute to the list. It'll make things easier. Note down the groceries required.

2. Simplify cooking. Why do you prepare a breakfast and then a snack for the school and then lunch and then dinner? Can't you combine foods in a creative way?

Prepare stuff that you can cook instantly. Stack away things in the freezer. Boil prawns, prepare shaamis, kababs, fish, etc. and freeze them. They'll be ready to fry. Check out recipes that are easy to do. If chapatis take a long time, try making pancakes or dosas.

Try to reuse the curries. You can perhaps make shorba for dinner and use it again for breakfast. Or freeze it and use it a day later to avoid repetition on the same day.

Simplify, simplify, and simplify cooking. You can still cook delicious food. Work smart, not hard.

3. Managing Time. Can't you finish all your cooking in the morning before the children go to school? Why don't you prepare breakfast and lunch together for example?

Start with the most difficult task of the day and finish it off early, because if you are able to get it done in the morning, the rest of the day will be much, much easier. Your major battle for the day is already over.

A sweating walk, jog or exercise and reciting the Qur'an or the Adhkaar after you've exhausted yourself with the morning work will be good to your brain. It will relax you. Think of different activities you can be involved in. Find a friend to do these activities together.

Try to get up even earlier than Fajr if you can. I swear this will be excellent. But that means you must sleep early and train your children to sleep early. Eliminate working after Isha.

4. Work. When working outside home, women generally are extremely loyal to the work they are assigned to, like more loyal than the boss. Don't take more work than what you're capable of.

Set priorities in your life and don't compromise over them. Projects, deadlines, and work are always going to be there. We can't devote our life to them.

5. Post Isha Time. You should not get even close to work after Isha. Relax and chill out. Speak to your family. Spend time talking random stuff. General stuff. Joke with each other. Tell them what happened at home. Hear their stories.

This should be your important and unavoidable family time. Keep it for about half an hour or 45 minutes — that's quality time spent. Then go to sleep by doing your adhkar.

If you wish, write down what you have to do next morning, even if it is the same schedule. Or else, write the schedule i.e. plan the day when you wake up in the morning. But write it down.

6. Involve Children. Many mothers are always in the "do it all" mode.

Get your children involved in housework! Let them do the dishes in turns. If they aren't doing it properly, have Sabr. They will learn. But it must be their responsibility. Period.

You must develop the art of sweetly getting the work done through others. They should love doing it. It should be given that, after dinner, it is they who will clean up the table and do the dishes. Let them also prepare the dinner table and unpack and wash their lunch boxes.

You must be firm. Tell your children that you are finding it very difficult. Express the pressure you are facing and tell them that if they don't help out, you may fall sick. Children will get worried and become responsible. Keep the communication alive.

Publicly appreciate the work they do and encourage them to do more. Treat them as if they are elders. Make housework something interesting to do and a competition between children.

7. Be Fully Involved in what you do (i.e. don't think of other things when you're doing one thing). For example, when you are helping with the homework, think only about that. Innovate on how you could make it easier and better for the children. Make it full of life and activity.

This will help you as well. It will distract you from worries. It will add different colors to your life.

8. Be Positive. Make lots of du'a and leave your worries to Allaah. Please don't get into a self-pity or self-blame mode. Get rid of all negative emotions. They don't help. You can be positive, happy and upbeat regardless of what you have, or don't have in life. Once you've made du'a, expressed your weakness and sought comfort from Allah, you should be in action mode. Think about how to deal with this situation and then plan things.

Work out clever and pleasing ways to give da'wah to your husband. Ways that are not confronting. Be fully obedient, but that doesn't mean you should be dull and silent.

Be confident and expressive in a nice and loving way. Men like women who charm them with positivity (even if he's not giving you the reason to be, but this shouldn't be dependent on him).

Just the state of being positive and giving Da'wah for Allah's sake will make you happy and he'll listen to you more as well In-shaa' Allaah.

Remember that things don't change overnight. Take it step by step. It requires some effort from you. 

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Category: Enthusiasm and Zeal

Concerning this point, Satan has many ways and means. It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhaari that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “During your sleep, Satan ties three knots at the back of your necks. He breathes the following into them, ‘The night is long so keep on sleeping.’ If the person wakes and praises Allah, then one of the knots is unfastened. And if he performs ablution, the second knot is unfastened. When he prays, all of the knots are unfastened. After that he will be energetic and happy in the morning. Otherwise he would get up listless and grouchy.”

It is also recorded in Sahih al-Bukhaari and Sahih Muslim that he said, “When one of you rises from your sleep he should make ablution. He should rinse his nose three times. For Satan stays in the upper part of one’s nose during the night.”

Al-Bukhaari also records that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked about a man who sleeps until the morning comes, that is, after the time of the dawn prayer. He said, “That is a man whom Satan has urinated into his two ears.”

What we have mentioned is from among the ways that Satan hinders the human from doing some actions. He also whispers into the human a love for laziness, postponing or procrastinating actions and thinking about what a long period of time one has for such and such action or work.

Ibn al-Jawzi has written on this topic, stating that many of the Jews or Christians actually felt and feel in their hearts love for Islaam but Iblees continues to hinder them. He says to them, “Do not be hasty. Look closer into the matter.” And they postpone their conversion until they die as disbelievers.

In the same way, the one who is disobedient to Allaah postpones his repentance. He sets his sights on his desires and he hopes he will repent later. But, as the poet said, “Do not rush to perform the sins you desire and think about the period of repentance beforehand.”

How many are determined to do something and then they postpone it. Perhaps a scholar is determined to return to his study. Satan says, “Rest for a while.” Or a servant is alerted to the prayer at night and he says to him, “You have plenty of time.” He will not stop making people love laziness and postponing of actions and he makes the person rely on hopes and dreams.

It is necessary for the energetic person to take matters into his own hand and act upon his energy. The energetic finds the time to do things and does not procrastinate and he turns away from just dreaming. The one who has a real fear of Allah does not feel safe of punishment. The soul never stops in its dispute about evil and facing the good. But it always expects that it will have plenty of time to complete the good. One of the early scholars said,

“Beware of procrastinating. It is the greatest of the soldiers of Satan.”

The serious, non-procrastinating person and the one who rests on his hopes and puts off working are like two who are passing through a city while journeying. The serious, energetic one buys his provisions early and waits for his traveling out of the city. The procrastinator says, “I will wait, as perhaps we will stay here a month,” and continues to put off buying his provisions and preparing for his departure, until the last minute wherein he becomes rushed and mistake prone.

This is how people are in this world. Some of them are prepared and alert. When the angel of death comes, he is not sorrowful. Others are deceived by thinking they can procrastinate and they will despair when the time to move on comes. It is part of one’s nature to love laziness and dreams but then Iblees comes and builds upon that. This makes it difficult to struggle against him in that matter.

But the one who is alert knows that he is in the middle of a battle.

He knows that his enemy does not rest.

And if it seems that he is resting, it is actually just part of his strategy.

Source: Excerpted from: The World of the Jinn and Devils,. Chapter: From the Ways of Satan in Leading Humans Astray By Dr.Umar Al-Ashqar. Adapted from the book Ibn al-Jawzi, Talbees Iblees, p. 458.

 

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Category: Enthusiasm and Zeal

Our self esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family, friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life.

Allaah Almighty says in the Noble Qur'aan:

إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ

{Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you.

Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.} (Al-Hujuraat, Verse 13)

1. Dress nicely without extravagancy. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don't look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. This doesn't mean you need to spend a lot of money and time on clothes. One great rule to follow is "spend twice as much, buy half as much". Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, good quality items. Find things that you like and in return, you will like the way you look. Although you must remember to always remain humble and not extravagant.

إِنَّهُ ۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُسۡرِفِينَ

"Certainly He (Allah) likes not the extravagant." (7:31)

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said one day in his khutbah:

"Allaah has revealed to me that you should be humble so that no one will boast to anyone else and no one will transgress against anyone else." (Muslim)

2Have good hygiene. Take care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and removing unwanted body hair frequently (excluding eyebrows and without resembling men) by epilating or waxing (exfoliating is a must!), wearing clean clothes and brushing your teeth twice a day. Although alway remember: nothing beats Miswaak.

The Prophet  ﷺ said: "Had I not feared burdening my Ummah (followers), I would have commanded them to use Siwaak before every Salaat." (Reported by Maalik, Ahmad and an-Nasaa'i.)

"From the acts of nature are five: circumcision (obligation for men, but not for women), removing pubic hairs, trimming the mustache, cutting the nails and plucking the hair from under the armpits." (Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim).

It is not allowed to leave them for more than forty nights. This is based on the Hadith of Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said, "The Messenger of Allaah set a time limit for us for trimming the mustache, trimming nails, removing armpit hairs and removing pubic hairs. They cannot be left for more than forty nights." [Recorded by Muslim].

Abdullaah ibn Masood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ say: "Allaah has cursed the woman who does tattoos and the one who has them done, the woman who plucks eyebrows and the one who has it done, and the one who files her teeth for the purpose of beauty, altering the creation of Allaah." (Bukhaari, Muslim)

3Practice good posture, without being arrogant. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They often are unenthusiastic and don't consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you'll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You'll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered. But remember,

 إن ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُعۡتَدِينَ

{Truly, Allah likes not the transgressors.} (2:190)

 إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخۡتَالٍ۬ فَخُورٍ۬

{Verily, Allah likes not any arrogant boaster.} (31:18)

4Work out regularly and eat the right foods. Physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you're out of shape, you'll feel insecure and unattractive. By working out, you improve your physical appearance and do something constructive with your time. If you work out in the morning, it also creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said, "I raced with the Prophet and I beat him. Later when I had put on some weight, we raced again and he won. Then he said, 'this cancels that (referring to the previous race).'" (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

Muhammad ﷺ said, "Any action without the remembrance of Allaah is either a diversion or heedlessness, except four acts: Walking from target to target [during archery practice], training a horse, playing with one's family, and learning to swim." (At-Tabaraani)

Islaam's holistic approach to health includes treating our bodies with respect and nourishing them with, not only faith, but also with lawful, nutritious food. A major part of living life according to the Creator's instructions is implementing a suitable diet. Choosing wholesome food and avoiding the unwholesome is essential to good health. Allaah Almighty says in the Qur'aan,

كُلُوا مِن طَيِّبَاتِ مَا رَزَقْنَاكُمْ

{Eat of the good things which We have provided for you.} (Quran 2:173)

كُلُوا مِمَّا فِي الْأَرْضِ حَلَالًا طَيِّبًا

{Eat of what is lawful and wholesome on the earth.} (Quran 2:168)

5Give back to others. Volunteer in the Muslim community. This will increase your self esteem.

 وَلْتَكُن مِّنكُمْ أُمَّةٌ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى الْخَيْرِ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ ۚ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ

{Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining Al-Ma'roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden). And it is they who are the successful.} (Surah Aal 'Imraan:104)

Zaid ibn Thabit narrated the Prophet ﷺ said: "May Allah cause to have freshness and brilliance the man who hears what I say and keeps it in mind, then convey it to others." (Ahmad, 5-183.)

Too Much of an Introvert?

1Compliment others modestly. Break the cycle of negativity by praising people when praise is due unexcessively. In the process, you'll become well liked and it will build your self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

Muhammad ﷺ said: "Do not abuse anyone...Do not look down upon any good work, and when you speak to your brother, show him a cheerful face." (Sunan of Abu-Dawood, Hadith 1889)

Muhammad ﷺ said: "Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises." He was then asked: "From what do we give charity every day?" The Prophet answered: "The doors of goodness are many...enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one's legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one's arms–all of these are charity prescribed for you." He also said: "Your smile for your brother is charity." (Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98.)

2Sit in the front row. Most people prefer the back of a classroom or office because they're afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You'll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

3Speak up. Many people never speak up because they're afraid that people will judge them or think of them negatively. The simple fact is that these are fears everyone experiences. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you'll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts and recognized as a leader by your peers. One shouldn't fear to speak good words, speak up for that which is right and rewarding.

4Walk faster. You don't have to power walk at all times, but people with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go and things to do. Even if you aren't in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by doing this because you will look and feel more important.

 

Remove Your Negative Self-Esteem

1Start from within. Ignore any and all destructive criticism or insults, including any from your past. Your opinion of yourself is the most important opinion of all, because you know yourself better than anyone else. Many of us have been hurt by others at some time. It is crucial not to internalize that abuse and let them continue to hurt us, because that means the other person wins. If we let go of the past, ignore hurtful negativity and make ourselves happy, then we win.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, "Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer! They are all for his benefit. If he is granted ease then he is thankful, and this is good for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres, and this is good for him." (Muslim)

And: "Whenever a Muslim is afflicted by harm from sickness or other matters, Allaah will expiate his sins, like leaves drop from a tree." (Bukhari and Muslim)

2Create daily affirmations. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself and another for things you can work on. Thank Allaah for the good and ask his forgiveness and help from the bad.

{And when your Lord proclaimed, "If you give thanks, I will give you more; but if you are thankless, lo!  My punishment is dire.} (Quran 14:7)

If you've made mistakes that prevent you from believing that you deserve to be happy, take measures to relieve that guilt. Apologize to people you may have hurt (if possible), learn from those mistakes and forgive yourself. Use the Qur'aan as your ultimate guide through this learning process.

{O mankind! There has come to you a good advice from your Lord (i.e. the Qur'aan), and a healing for that which is in your hearts.} (Quran 10:57)

{And We send down from the Quran that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe...} (Quran 17:82)

From the Ahaadeeth of Muhammad ﷺ comes the story of the man whom the Prophet ﷺ sent on a mission.  He camped close by to some people who did not show him any hospitality.  When the leader of the nearby camp was bitten by a snake, they went to Prophet Muhammad's ﷺ companion for help.  He recited the opening chapter of the Qur'aan over the afflicted man and he arose "as if released from a chain" (Saheeh Al-Bukhaari)

3Start with small steps to gain confidence. Take small steps and make small choices to gain confidence in your ability to make a decision.

The Prophet ﷺ said: "There is no disease that Allaah Almighty has created, except that He also has created its treatment." (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

As you become secure in your ability to make good choices, you will gain confidence in yourself, and be more secure about your abilities in general.

For example, if purchasing jeans makes you anxious because of the plethora of brands, colors, and styles, then just go with your instincts. Trust yourself and go with whatever feels right to you. And if you really feel you made a wrong decision in retrospect, the situation can be easily rectified by exchanging the jeans.

4Don't always try to please others. It is great to be considerate of others, but think before sacrificing your own needs to please them. Bending over backwards for strangers, mere acquaintances or people you don't trust may leave you with the short end of the stick. In short, don't allow yourself to be used.

The Prophet ﷺ said: "Whoever seeks people's contentment by angering Allaah, Allaah will leave his matters for the people." (At-Tirmidhi)

5Be your own person. Don't try to copy anyone else. You will be at your best when you are being yourself because of your uniqueness. Strive to be your best and do not criticize yourself if you fall short of your expectations.

 

6Avoid negative people. People who have a negative attitude which may rub off on you are not good for you. If you're timid, loud and aggressive people are probably not good for you, and vice versa. Whatever you do, do not compare yourself to others. Just be the best that you can be.

The Prophet ﷺ said, "The case of the good companion and the bad companion is like that of the seller of musk and the blower of the bellows (iron-smith). As for the seller of musk, he will either give you some of the musk, or you will purchase some from him, or at least you will come away having experienced its good smell. Whereas the blower of the bellows will either burn your clothing, or at least you will come away having experienced its repugnant smell." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

7Face your fears and learn from your failures. We only fail when we do not make the best out of adversity. When something doesn't go the way we would like it to, there is something to be learned from that, which can be applied next time you are in a similar situation. Get up and try again.

Repentance (Tawbah) is a spiritual necessity in Islaam. As humans, who are not infallible, we will commit sins, and we will make mistakes, even with good intentions.

There can be no sincere making of tawbah for any sin or mistake without self-actualization, meaning that we have to first be aware that we are fallible beings, who need to take constant calculation of our intentions, thought processes and actions. The Qur'aan states (59:19),

{And be not like those who forgot Allaah, so He allowed them to forget themselves; these it is who are the transgressors.} (59:19)

If we have knowledge of self, then it enables us to see our wrongdoing, which leads towards a feeling of remorse within us if we are connected to our souls. There cannot be true tawbah without having remorse. In fact, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated, "Remorse is repentance." (Ibn Majah & Ahmad)

8Stop the negative thoughts. Try positive thinking on for size. If you constantly tell yourself you are stupid or that you will never achieve success, you will in turn act as such. Improve what's within yourself, have pure thoughts and aim for your Deen, and you will see a change within youself.

وَعِندَهُ مَفَاتِحُ الْغَيْبِ لَا يَعْلَمُهَا إِلَّا هُوَ ۚ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ ۚ وَمَا تَسْقُطُ مِن وَرَقَةٍ إِلَّا يَعْلَمُهَا 

وَلَا حَبَّةٍ فِي ظُلُمَاتِ الْأَرْضِ وَلَا رَطْبٍ وَلَا يَابِسٍ إِلَّا فِي كِتَابٍ مُّبِينٍ

{And with Him are the keys of the unseen; no one knows them except Him. And He knows what is on the land and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that is [written] in a clear record.} (Quran 6:59)

9Don't worry about being "perfect." Aiming for perfection in life is a lost cause because the term means different things to different people. Nobody is perfect in the eyes of everyone else. Instead, seek to achieve goals and know that Allaah alone is perfect.

10Learn to appreciate yourself. Everyone has strengths, weaknesses, habits, and principles that define who you are and can make you distinctive. Spend more time focusing on the qualities about yourself that you like and that are praiseworthy in the Deen. You can better accomplish this by taking up hobbies and projects that you can do which will make use of your strengths. Additionally, by starting on some projects that emphasize your good traits, it will keep you busy so you will end up spending less time thinking about your weaknesses.

11Reward yourself when you succeed. Treat yourself to something nice in the glow of your successes. Believe in yourself as a Musim and others will also believe and trust in you. The best thing you can reward yourself with is an extra prostration (Sajdah) infront of your Lord.

 

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Category: Enthusiasm and Zeal

Sometimes, it is the case that Allah opens up a person’s heart and sparks it with zeal, motivation, determination and He gives it a burst of enthusiasm. He blesses his slaves with high aspirations and drives them towards good deeds until… Shaytan recognises this tremendous gift and he in turn rushes to stop such a well-driven believer. He launches his army against him, but then Allah `azza wa jall by His Mercy and Power protects His slave and helps him overcome the plots of Shaytan;

“Indeed My Slaves, you have no authority over them, except those who follow you of the deviators.” [al-Hijr: 42]

And so the slave of Allah is forever in a battle; between fighting the grip of Shaytan and between hastening onwards to achieve his goals and aspirations.

We have to learn to recognize this pattern that often occurs the moment we make an intention to do something good in our lives; something that’s worthwhile and rewarding, or has great weight in the Hereafter. For some, this battle begins the moment they enter into Islaam, for others the battle kicks off when they make a firm resolve to achieve something (e.g. seeking knowledge, or learning Qur’an, or setting up community projects etc).

One of the crazy plots of Shaytan is that he often seeks to harm us through the people that surround us or people that are close to us. Subhaan’Allah how often we hear of youth suffering at the hands of their (non-practising/non-Muslim) parents who restrict them from practicing their Islaam, or a person who wishes to embark on some good but his friends are the first people to put him down or demotivate him, or laymen who are turned away at the doors of knowledge unfairly such that they’re made to feel rejected, or a worshipper who is rebuked harshly by another such that his drive in worshipping Allah is now broken. Yes, harms can often reach you from those around you; sometimes it’s people that you couldn’t care less about, sometimes it’s those above you in authority, and sometimes, just sometimes, it’s those that mean the world to you.

As part of a lifelong tarbiyyah, we have to recognize that this is not uncommon in the path of struggling towards Allah and His Pleasure. Many scholars have written books on it and classical texts such as Ibn Hibban’s ‘Rawdhat al-‘Uqala’ have numerous chapters dedicated to this. Yes, even though you will meet good companions in life who help you and offer you kind words of encouragement, there are times unfortunately when you will also face people (often at the peak of your enthusiasm) who intentionally or unintentionally bring you down, discourage you, or zap all your zeal and passion in one way or another. As a result, a person ends up either not fulfilling their potential, or they become weak in their pursuit of the good deed, or they abandon it altogether. We have to recognize that this is just another tool of Shaytan to prevent the slave of Allah from attaining the high ranks in Paradise.

How can a person best deal with this?

Focus on Allah, your Creator. He is the One who wishes to see you succeed. He is the One who wants good for you, and His Help is with you so long as you are sincere and do your best.

Focus on the Hereafter and make it your focal point throughout life. Fix your vision on attaining the high ranks; “Look at how We have favoured some of them over others, but the Hereafter is greater in degrees and greater in distinction.” [Al-Israa': 21].

Ask Allah for guidance in all your affairs. Seek His Mercy and Blessings. Ask Him to help you overcome the obstacles in life and help you deal with people in the best manner, and Inshaa’Allah He will most certainly bring you out as a stronger, wiser person.

Be patient. Be patient with people, with circumstances, with the era you live in. Be patient when things don’t go smoothly or even if they do go smoothly, be patient when they don’t turn out as you expect.

Realise that sometimes people are just part of the test. They may not always intend you harm, but it’s the Decree of Allah that He may wish to test you with others. In the end, this will only increase your reliance upon Him and your heart will learn to be patient with everything and seek Him Alone.

Remain humble. It’s all too easy to improperly react (or overreact!) when faced with difficult people. Be calm, be collected and stay humble. We ourselves are not safe from mistreating others which is likely to happen if we respond with anger or speak without thought.

If you endure harm from one person, don’t let it cause you to abandon others. Be social but be wiser in your sociability. Remember the words of Ibn Hibban when he said,

“Whoever seeks to please all people is seeking something impossible! Rather, the intelligent one seeks the pleasure of those who he cannot do without… Many times there is little safety for a person when he is social, so what safety can there be for a person who is unsocial?”

In other words, when you’re social, at least there’ll be people who like you and you like them, but if you’re unsocial, then you won’t be liked by anyone.

Remember your high aspirations. Remember that they are worth the struggle because you have intended them for Allah. Keep looking forwards, and don’t be sidetracked by the difficulties. As the great thinker and reformer once said:

“My brother, walk on, and do not look back,

Your path has been dyed with blood (i.e. struggles).

Do not look about, neither here nor there,

And do not look except to the sky…”

- Sayyid Qutb (rahimahullah)