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Moments of Married Love… The Untold Story

Is love about dying for the one you love or living every breath with him?

Swapping love notes… exchange roses in Valentine's day is what real love is all about?

We all have a certain image of lovers, a star-crossed pair, love at first sight, living happily ever after…

Normally, we associate these ideas of love with couples who meet, date, and fall head over heels for each other. Very rarely do we relate these images to married couples.

Umm Salamah! What an eventful life she had! Her real name was Hind. She was the daughter of  one of the notables in the Makhzum clan nicknamed "Zad ar-Rakib" because he was well known  for his generosity particularly to travelers. Umm Salamah's husband was Abdullah ibn Abdulasad  and they both were among the first persons to accept Islam. Only Abu Bakr and a few others, who  could be counted on the fingers of one hand, became Muslims before them.

As soon as the news of their becoming Muslims spread, the Quraysh reacted with frenzied anger.  They began hounding and persecuting Umm Salamah and her husband. But the couple did not  waver or despair and remained steadfast in their new faith.

The persecution became more and more intense. Life in Makkah became unbearable for many of  the new Muslims. The Prophet, peace be upon him, then gave permission for them to emigrate to  Abyssinia. Umm Salamah and her husband were in the forefront of these muhajirun, seekers of  refuge in a strange land. For Umm Salamah it meant abandoning her spacious home and giving up  the traditional ties of lineage and honor for something new, hope in the pleasure and reward of  Allah.

Even before Islam was introduced to Yathrib, Rumaysa was known for her excellent character, the power of her intellect and  her independent attitude of mind. She was known by various names including Rumaysa and Ghumaysa, but these were  possibly nicknames. One historian says that her real name was Sahlah but later she was popularly known as Umm Sulaym.

Umm Sulaym was first married to Malik ibn an-Nadr and her son by this marriage was the famous Anas ibn Malik, one of the  great companions of the Prophet.

Abu Sufyan ibn Harb could not conceive of anyone among the Quraysh who would dare challenge his authority or go against  his orders. He was after all, the sayyid or chieftain of Makkah who had to be obeyed and followed.

His daughter, Ramlah, known as Umm Habibah, however dared to challenge his authority when she rejected the deities of  the Quraysh and their idolatrous ways. Together with her husband, Ubaydullah ibn Jahsh, she put her faith in Allah alone  and accepted the message of His prophet, Muhammad ibn Abdullah.

Abu Sufyan tried with all the power and force at his disposal to bring back his daughter and her husband to his religion and  the religion of their forefathers. But he did not succeed. The faith which was embedded in the heart of Ramlah was too  strong to be uprooted by the hurricanes of Abu Sufyans fury.

Fatimah was the fifth child of Muhammad and Khadijah. She was born at a time when her noble father had begun to spend  long periods in the solitude of mountains around Makkah, meditating and reflecting on the great mysteries of creation.

This was the time, before the Bi'thah (the dawn of Prophethood), when her eldest sister Zaynab was married to her cousin, al-Aas ibn ar Rabiah. Then  followed the marriage of her two other sisters, Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum, to the sons of Abu Lahab, a paternal uncle of the Prophet. Both Abu Lahab and his wife Umm Jamil turned out to be flaming enemies of the Prophet from the very beginning of his public mission.

We do not know precisely how the young Abyssinian girl ended up for sale in Makkah. We do not know her 'roots', who her  mother was, or her father or her ancestors. There were many like her, boys and girls, Arabs and non-Arabs, who were  captured and brought to the slave market of the city to be sold.

A terrible fate awaited some who ended up in the hands of cruel masters or mistresses who exploited their labor to the full  and treated them with the utmost harsh ness.

A few in that inhuman environment were rather more fortunate. They were taken into the homes of more gentle and caring  people.

Asmaa bint Abu Bakr belonged to a distinguished Muslim family. Her father, Abu Bakr, was a close friend of the Prophet and  the first Caliph after his death. Her half-sister, Aishah, was a wife of the Prophet and one of the Ummahat al-Mumineen (Mothers of the Faithful). Her  husband, Zubayr ibn al-Awwam, was one of the special personal aides of the Prophet. Her son, Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr,  became well known for his incorruptibility and his unswerving devotion to Truth.

Asma, herself, was one of the first persons to accept Islam. Only about seventeen persons including both men and women  became Muslims before her. She was later given the nickname Dhat an-Nitaqayn (the One with the Two Waistbands)  because of an incident connected with the departure of the Prophet and her father from Makkah on the historic hijrah (migration) to  Madinah.

The life of Aishah is proof that a woman can be far more learned than men and that she can be the teacher of scholars and  experts. Her life is also proof that a woman can exert influence over men and women and provide them with inspiration and  leadership. Her life is also proof that the same woman can be totally feminine and be a source of pleasure, joy and comfort to  her husband.

She did not graduate from any university there were no universities as such in her day. But still her utterances are studied in  faculties of literature, her legal pronouncements are studied in colleges of law and her life and works are studied and  researched by students and teachers of Muslim history as they have been for over a thousand years.

Umm Salamah is Hind, the daughter of Zad ar-Rakib, Hudhayfah ibn al-Mugheera al-Makhzoomi. She is both from the noble clan of Makhzoom and of the gracious tribe of Quraysh.

Zaid ar-Rakib is a nick name by which her father, Abu Umayyah, Hudhayfah ibn al-Mugheerah was known because of his generosity. He was one of the most famously generous men of the pre-Islamic era who lived in the Arabian Peninsula. Their leader was Hatim at-Ta’ee to whom the Hatimic generosity is attributed and about whom the Prophet (saw) said: “He loved all noble qualities.”

But why was Hudhayfah, Umm Salamah’s father, called ‘provision of the traveller’? It was said that whenever he travelled, no one who travelled in his company would be allowed to bring their provision with them. He would rather be responsible for that however much their number was and however long the journey would be.

She is the sister of Umm al-Fadl and Maymoonah (the mother of the faithful) from the same mother and different fathers.

She embraced Islam early, married 'Abdullah ibn Jahsh and migrated with him to Abyssinia.

Zaynab was of fine and noble origin. This, along with her pure religion, blossomed and produced in her great fruits: she was very pious. The fragrance of her piety spread with her name and whenever she is mentioned and the pleasant fruits of this piety flow abundantly from her hands to the poor and the needy in the form of unlimited gifts and charity so much so that she was known as 'mother of the poor'. Did the Prophet (salallhua’lyhiwasalam) not say in his supplication: "0' Allah, make me live as a poor person, cause me to die as a poor person and resurrect me amidst the group of poor people?"

Allah says: “Allah has not put for any man two hearts inside his body. Neither has he made your wives whom you declare to be like your mothers’ backs, your real mothers. [Adh-Dhihar is saying of a husband to his wife, ‘You are to me like the back of my mother’ i.e. you are unlawful for me to approach], nor has He made your adopted sons your real sons. That is but your sayings with your mouths. But Allah says the truth, and He guides to the [right] way. Call them adopted sons by [the names of] their fathers: that is more just with Allah. But if you know not their fathers [names, call them] your brothers in faith and Mawaleekum [your freed slaves]. And there is no sin on you concerning that in which you made a mistake, except in regard to what your hearts deliberately intend. And Allah is ever oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Qur’an 33: 4-5)

Her name is Lubabah bint al-Harith al-Hilaliyah.

She is the wife of Abbas ibn Abdul-Muttalib, the Prophet’s uncle and the Mother of Abdullah ibn A’baas, the Companion and commentator of the Qur’aan. She is also the sister of Maymoonah, the mother of the faithful – the Prophet’s [saws] wife. According to Ibn Sa’d, she was one of the first woman who embraced Islam after Khadeejah.

Umm al-Fadl and Maymoonah had two other half sisters: Asma and Salamah daughters of Umays. It was that these four sisters that the Messenger of Allah (saw) described as “The believing sisters!” That was truly a praise, and what a great one!

The circumstances which made Safiyah one of the mothers of the faithful are very important. They are strongly related to the movement of the historical course of the Da'wah of Islam. Therefore, we need to discuss these circumstances and magnify them without any boring elaborations or faulty details.

Her father Huyay ibn Akhtab was, for Islam and the Muslims, one of the most maliciously and treacherously dangerous Jewish leaders in Madeenah. He was the leader of Banu Nadheer, one of the three biggest Jewish tribes that were living in Madeenah. These tribes had their distinctive districts and fortresses. Other two major tribes are Banu Qaynuqa' and Banu Quraydhah.

When the Messenger of Allah (salallhua’lyhiwasalam) arrived at Madeenah after his migration and began organizing the new society, he entered into seperatr pacts and treaties with each Jewish clan.

The Messenger of Allah (May Peace be upon him) didn't take another wife for almost two decades in which he was married to Khadeejah (may Allah be pleased with her), neither before he was commissioned as a Prophet nor after, until his beloved wife Khadeejah passed away.

Before we begin speaking about Sawdah and A’ishah, we need to be acquainted with Khawlah Bint Hakeem, a woman whose deep faith and strong love for the Prophet of Allah (May Peace be upon him) spurred her into interfering and helping in the Prophet’s private family affairs. In fact, she played an excellent role in this regard.

She was the Prophet’s paternal aunt, a daughter of his maternal aunt, the mother of Az-Zubair ibn Al-Awwaam and Hamza ibn Abdul Muttalib’s full sister. It was said that she was Prophet’s only maternal aunt who actually embraced Islam and migrated.

She had a strong personality and she was inclined to sternness and harshness; but how?

Her first marriage was to Al-Harith ibn Umayyah, Abu Sufyaan’s brother. He then died and they had no children. She was then married to Al-Awwam ibn Khuwaylid, Khadeejah’s brother, she gave birth to two of his children: Az-Zubayr and As-Sa’ib. So when he died, Safiyah devoted all her attention to her two orphaned sons, especially the younger one. Whenever he came home complaining of bullying  by children of his age group, she would sternly rebuke him, tie him and beat him up, in order to make him strong and firm.

After the truce of Hudaibiyah, which took place in the month of Shawwal of the year 6 A.H., the Messenger of Allah (saw) sent  the message of Islam to the kings and the rulers of the world, inviting them and their people to Islam and warning them that they would be responsible if they delayed in responding to His call. He furher reminded them of the repercussion of disdaining from the pure religion.

The question: 'Why didn't the Prophet [saws] invite them to Islam at the beginning of his mission?' needs an answer which demands both deep understanding and study of the Seerah [the life of the Prophet].