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I stood and wondered how I could set her free
So I asked if she knew where they’d hidden the key.
She wiped away tears and looked over at me
With pity that I assumed it would be so easy!

She said: “Buried inside pages of distant past
With a heritage of lions, so rich and so vast
You’ll find the key with Sumayyah, when to faith she held fast
As they speared her chastity, and she breathed her last.

And it’s the finger of Bilal, the heroic black slave,
The sign of Tawhid that in their faces he’d wave
As he lay tied down in a hot desert grave
Their harming of him made him all the more brave.

And it’s the pledge of ‘Ikrimah, enemy turned warrior
Who changed his life to make the truth superior.
Khalid himself could not hold him back from more
When his pledge at Yarmuk left the Romans so sore.

It is the back with shredded flesh and torn skin
Of Ahmad bin Hambal, who refused to give in.
He answered their whips with the truth and a grin
To protect our religion, he would not let them win.

And it is the bittersweet dust of the land of Hittin,
That once engulfed the knights of Salah ad-Din
From the filth of dishonor, he made that dust clean
And for the respect of the world did he set the scene.

It was the rope around the neck of the desert’s lion
‘Umar Mukhatar, who would bow down to no Italian.
Refusing to live in a state of humiliation
His chin high to the end, with no fear of the Creation.

The rope was passed on to Sayyid’s waiting head
With one last chance for him to be spared from this dread.
And from the choicest fruits, they promised he would be fed
But his index finger led him to another door instead.

The same finger that pointed up as Malcolm X lay still
Ending a life of honor, that was one struggle uphill.
He left a life of crime, transforming himself until
He spoke bitter truth with eloquence and skill…”

She sat in the jail where we left her behind
Indeed this key will be difficult to find
But it is you if you refuse to be blind
And decide to free yourself from the colonized mind.

 

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1) Six Etiquettes of Learning [2] 

Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim - rahimahullâh - said,

2) Fruits of Humility

Ibn al-Qayyim - rahimahullâh - said,[4] "One of the Salaf (Pious Predecessors) said,

‘Indeed a servant commits a sin by which he enters Paradise; and another does a good deed by which he enters the Fire.’

It was asked, ‘How is that?’ So he replied,

‘The one who committed the sin, constantly thinks about it; which causes him to fear it, regret it, weep over it and feel ashamed in front of his Lord - the Most High - due to it. He stands before Allâh, broken-hearted and with his head lowered in humility. So this sin is more beneficial to him than doing many acts of obedience, since it caused him to have humility and humbleness – which leads to the servant’s happiness and success – to the extent that this sin becomes the cause for him entering Paradise. As for the doer of good, then he does not consider this good a favour from his Lord Upon him. Rather, he becomes arrogant and amazed with himself, saying, 'I have achieved such and such, and such and such'. So this further increases him in self adulation, pride and arrogance – such that this becomes the cause for his destruction.’”

3) Purifying the Heart

Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullâh) said,

“There is no doubt that the heart becomes covered with rust, just as metal dishes – silver, and their like – become rusty. So the rust of the heart is polished with dhikr (remembrance of Allâh), for dhikr polishes the heart until it becomes like a shiny mirror. However, when dhikr is abandoned, the rust returns; and when it commences then the heart again begins to be cleansed. Thus the heart becoming rusty is due to two matters: sins and ghaflah (neglecting remembrance of Allâh). Likewise, it is cleansed and polished by two things: istighfâr (seeking Allâh’s forgiveness) and dhikr.”[5]

4) Jihâad Against the Self

“Jihâd (striving) against the soul has four stages:

Firstly: To strive in learning guidance and the religion of truth, without which there will be no success. Indeed, there can be no true happiness, nor any delight in this world and in the Hereafter, except through it.

Secondly: Striving to act upon what has been learnt, since knowledge without action will not benefit, rather it will cause harm.

Thirdly: Striving to invite others towards it and to teach those who do not know, otherwise he may be considered from those who hide what Allâh has revealed of guidance and clear explanation. Such knowledge will neither benefit, nor save a person from the punishment of Allâh.

Fourthly: Striving to be patient and persevering against those who oppose this da‘wah (call) to Allâh and those who seek to cause harm - patiently bearing all these hardships for the sake of Allâh.

When these four stages are completed then such a person is considered to be amongst the Rabbâniyyûn. The Salaf were agreed that a Scholar does not deserve the title of Rabbânî until he recognises and knows the truth, acts upon it, and teaches it to others. So whosoever has knowledge, acts upon it, and teaches this knowledge to others, is considered from the Rabbâniyyûn.”[6]

5) Trials of the Heart

Ibn al-Qayyim said, whilst commenting upon the following hadîth, “Trials and tribulations will be presented to hearts, as a reed mat is interwoven stick by stick. Any heart which absorbs these trials will have a black mark put in it. However, any heart that rejects them will have a white mark put in it. The result is that hearts will be of two kinds: one white like a white stone, which will not be harmed by trials as long as the heavens and earth endure; and the other dark and rusty, like an over-turned vessel; not able to recognise the good, nor reject evil, but rather being absorbed with its desires.” [7]

“The fitan (trials) which are presented to the hearts - and which are the cause of its weakness - are,

(i) the trials relating to shahwah (false desire) and
(ii) the trials relating to shubhah (doubt)... so the first causes intentions and will to be corrupted, whilst the second causes knowledge and beliefs to be corrupted”.[8]

Speaking about such trials, he (rahimahullâh) said,

"Hearts - when exposed to such fitân (trials) – are of two types, 

[The first type]: A heart, which, when exposed to such trials, absorbs it like a sponge that soaks-up water, leaving in it a black stain. Such a heart continues to soak-up the various trials that are presented to it, until it becomes dark and corrupted - which is what is meant by “an over-turned vessel.” So when this occurs, two dangerous and deadly diseases take hold of it and plunge it into destruction:

Firstly: confusing good with evil, so it neither recognises the good, nor rejects the evil. This disease may take hold of it to such an extent that it believes good to be evil; and evil to be good, Sunnah (Prophetic Guidance) to be bid‘ah (innovation), and innovations to be the Sunnah; and the truth to be falsehood: and falsehood the truth.

Secondly: judging by its whims and desires, over and against what Allâh’s Messenger  came with being enslaved by its whims and desires and being led by them also.

[The second type]: A white heart in which the light of eemaan (faith) is bright and its radiance is illuminating. So when trials are presented to such a heart, it rejects and turns away from them. This further increases its light and illumination and its strength.”[9]

6) Four Principles of Worship

“The verse “You alone do we worship.” [Sûrah al fâtihah 1:5] is built upon four principles,

Ascertaining what Allâh and His Messenger love and are pleased with, from, 

i. the sayings of the heart 

ii. the tongue

iii. actions of the heart

iv. actions of the limbs.

So al-‘Ubûdiyyah (servitude and slavery to Allâh) is a comprehensive term for all these four stages. The one who actualises them has indeed actualised, “You alone do we worship.”

The saying of the heart: It is I‘tiqâd (belief) in what Allâh, the Most Perfect, informed about His Self; concerning His Names, His Attributes, His Actions, His Angels, and all that He sent upon the tongue of His Messenger.

The saying of the tongue: It is to inform and convey (what Allâh has revealed), to call to it, defend it, to explain the false innovations which oppose it, to establish its remembrance and to convey what it orders.

The action of the heart: Such as love for Him, reliance upon Him, repenting to Him, having fear and hope in Him, making the Deen (religion) purely and sincerely for Him, having patience in what He orders and prohibits, having patience with what He decrees and being pleased with it, having allegiance and enmity for His sake, humbling oneself in front of Him and having humility in front of Him, becoming tranquil with Him and other than this from the actions of the heart which are actually connected to the action of the limbs ... and actions of the limbs without the action of the heart is of little benefit if any benefit at all.

The action of the limbs: Such as Prayer and Jihâd, attending the Jumu‘ah and being with the Jamâ‘ah (the main body of the Muslims), aiding those who are unable and displaying goodness and kindness to the creation, and other than this.”[10]

______________

Footnotes:

 

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When news of the Christian army that had prepared on the horizons to wipe out Islam reached him, Abu Qudaamah Ash-Shaamee moved quickly to the Mimbar of the Masjid.  In a powerful and emotional speech, Abu Qudaamah ignited the desire of the community to defend their land, Jihad for the sake of Allah.  As he left the Masjid, walking down a dark and secluded alley, a women stopped him and said,

"As salamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaah!"

Abu Qudaamah stopped and did not answer. She repeated her salaam again, adding, "This is not how pious people should act."

She stepped forward from the shadows.  "I heard you in the Masjid encouraging the believers to go for Jihaad and all I have is this…"

She handed him two long braids.

"It can be used for a horse rein.  Perhaps Allah may write me as one of those who went for Jihaad."

The next day as that Muslim village set out to confront the crusader army, a young boy ran through the gathering and stood at the hooves of Abu Qudaamah's horse. 

"I ask you by Allah to allow me to join the army."

Some of the elder fighters laughed at the boy.  "The horses will trample you," they said.  But Abu Qudaamah looked down into his eyes as he asked again, "I ask you by Allah, let me join." Abu Qudaamah then said, "On one condition, if you are killed you will take me with you to Jannah amongst those you will be allowed to intercede for." That young boy smiled.  "It's a promise."

When the two armies met and the fighting intensified, the young boy on the back of Abu Qudaamah's horse asked, "I ask you by Allah to give me 3 arrows."  "You'll lose them!" The boy repeated, "I ask you by Allah to give me them." Abu Qudaamah gave him the arrows and the boy took aim. "Bismillaah!" The arrow flew and killed a Roman. "Bismillaah!" The second arrow flew, killing a second Roman. "Bismillaah!" The third arrow flew, killing a third Roman. An arrow then struck the boy in the chest - knocking him off the horse.  Abu Qudaamah jumped down to his side, reminding the boy in his final breaths, "Don't forget the promise!" The boy reached into his pocket, extracted a pouch and said, "Please return this to my mother."  "Who's your mother?" asked Abu Qudaamah.

"The women that gave you the braids yesterday."

Think about this Muslimah.  How did she reach this level of taqwaa (Allah-consciousness) where she would sacrifice her hair when today other women do the same to imitate kaafir (disbelieving) icons, and her son when other women would die so long as their son stayed home.  Indeed, she spent her life in the obedience of Allah, and when exam time came, she passed. Not only did she pass herself, but her children shone with that same beauty of eemaan (faith), children that she herself raised.

Very often - and perhaps in our times when we have forgotten much of the Sunnah (Prophetic Guidance)- the lectures, khutbahs, and talks are all directed to the Muslim men.  We forget that from the hady – guidance and way – of Rasoolullah (sal Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam) was that he would allocate a specific day of the week to teach the women. Women would come up to him in Hajj, in the street, even in his home and ask him questions about the Deen.  At the Eid Salaah, after addressing the men, he would take Bilal and go to the women section and address the women.  Allah revealed an entire Surah by the name of Surah An-Nisaa' – the Women.  And another by the name of – Maryam.  And a third by the name of al Mujaadalah – the women who pleads.

Dear Sister, Dear Mother, Dear Daughter.  Everyone is looking for happiness and fun, and I am sure you are not excluded.  Where is that happiness and fun though?  And where and when do you want that happiness?  Do you want happiness, do you want to have `fun' in this life at the expense of the hereafter?  Or is it in the hereafter, when you meet Allah that you want to be happy?

Every where you go you shall find a swarm of people and media and culture swearing to you that happiness is the happiness of the Dunyaa (this world). Is it really happiness though?  On the day of Repayment, Allah shall take the most `happiest' disbeliever of this world and dip him in Jahannam – Hellfire.  Then he shall ask him, "Have you ever seen any happiness?" The disbeliver will say, "Never!"

Nay, the happiness is only the happiness of the hereafter no matter what happens in this world.  Allah shall bring on the Day of Repayment the most tested human and dip him in Jannah – Paradise.  He shall then ask him, "Have you ever seen sadness?" And that person shall say, "Never!"

And don't think that this happiness and fun is exclusive to the hereafter.  It is very much tied to this life as well.  Listen to and understand the words of Allah,

{Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer verily to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter).} [Surah An-Nahl (16/97)]

Dear Sister, you have to understand that you or anyone may enter Hellfire!  By Allah, we are not better than Faatimah, the daughter of Rasoolullah (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam).  The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said to her, "O Fatimah the daughter of Muhammad, ask me whatever you wish from my wealth, for I shall avail you nothing to Allah." Meaning that it doesn't matter if you're my daughter, if you don't work for Jannah, saying to Allah that my father is so-and-so will not help you in anyway.

Islam is filled with many Mu'minahs (believing women) that completed their taqwaa (Allah-consciousness) of Allah.  When the other girls put up posters of non-Muslim singers and disbelieving athletes and non-Muslim actresses, you should put up posters in your heart of Fatimah and many other Mu'minahs.

Aasiyah, the wife of Fir'own (Pharoah). Her eeman (faith) in Allah thrived under the shadow of someone that said, "I am your Lord, Most High!" When news reached Fir'own of his wife's eeman he beat her and commanded his guards to beat her. They took her out in the scalding noon heat, tied her hands and feet and beat her perpetually. Who did she turn to? She turned to Allah! She prayed, "My Lord, build for me a home with you in Paradise and save me from Fir'own and his deeds and save me from the transgressive people."

It was narrated that when she said this, the sky opened for her and she saw her home in Paradise. She smiled. The guards watched astonished - she's being tortured and she smiles? Frustrated, Fir'own commanded a boulder to be brought and dropped on Aasiyah, to crush her to death. But Allah took her soul before the boulder was brought and she became an example for all the believing men and women till the end of time:

{And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe: the wife of Fir'own (Pharaoh) – when she said, "My Lord, Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'own and his deeds, and save me from the transgressive-disbelieving people.”} [Tahreem [66]:11]

When we talk about Jihaad and Shuhadaa' - martyrs, do you know who was the first Muslim in Islam to be killed in the path of Allah?  It was Summayah, the mother of Ammar.  When Abu Jahl heard of her Islam and her husband Yaasir and her son Ammar, he whipped them all and beat them. So much so, that Rasoolullah would pass by them as they went through this test of their eemaan and would say to them, "Be patient O family of Yaasir, for you have a date set (when you shall enter) Jannah!"

As Abu Jahl beat Sumayyah one day, she refused to recant her faith, something that enraged Abu Jahl. He took a spear as she lay on the burning sand, looking up to the sky, and he speared her through her midsection.  She was the first of her family and the entire Ummah to meet Allah as a Martyr.

Dear Sister, our role models come from the Qur’aan.  You may have heard the story of the boy and the king. When the entire village became Muslim by the death of that young boy, the king ordered that an enormous fire be kindled and that all those who would not recant their religion be burnt alive.  A Mu'minah, stood with her baby over the fire. She looked at her baby, and seeking her child's weakness and innocence, she considered turning her back.  The baby said to her, "What are you waiting for mother.  Go forward for you are on the truth!" She nodded.  Then with her baby in hand she was pushed to her death.

{And they ill-treated them for no other reason than that they believed in Allah, Exalted in Power, Worthy of all Praise!- * Him to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth! And Allah is Witness to all things.} [Surah AlBuruj, 8,9]

And dear sister, your role models come to you from today.  As her son tells us, a senior women in a Muslim land decided that all the vanity that normally happens in the gatherings of women was not for her.  She turned to Salaah and praying at night, and in her old age, she found herself calling out to her son from her prayer room.  Her son says, "I came in and she was in Sajdah (prostration) saying that she was paralysed!" Her son took her to the doctors and she began a cycle of rehabilitation, but there was little hope. She then commanded her son to take her back home, take her back to her prayer room, take her back to that Sajdah.  As she prayed to Allah in her sajdah, the night came when she called to her son,

"Astawdi'ukallaah alladhee laa yadee'u wa daa'i'uh”

I leave you in the trust of Allah, and whenever something is left in Allah's trust it is never lost.)

She passed away in her Sajdah.  Her muscles froze in that position and so they had to wash her body as she was in Sajdah. They then prayed Janazah (the funeral prayer) for her while her body was in Sajdah and carried her to the graveyard in that state. They then buried her as she was in Sajdah.

The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) has said that we shall all be resurrected on what we died on, she shall be resurrected on the day of judgement in Sajdah to Allah (a'zza wa jall)- because that it how she lived and died.

There are many other stories that we know about of powerful believing mothers, wives and sisters and many, many that Allah only knows about. Whenever a halaqah (Islamic Circle) is going on, the Muslim women outnumber the men. At the American Open University, the overwhelming majority of students are Muslim women.  Go to an Islamic teachers/schools conference, attend a lecture and you shall see the mismatch of sisters to brothers.  Sometimes it is sad to see all these brothers lacking the motivation that many Muslimahs have.  But if there is a beautiful sign in all this, it is that, Allah willing, those sisters are going to raise an army of believing men and women in the coming generation. Allahu akbar (And Allah is the Greatest)!

When Imam Ahmad was still young, his father died.  He would tell his students of the work his mother went through in raising him, and he would pray for her.  In the cold Baghdad nights, she would wake long before him to warm the water so that her son Ahmad could make wudhoo’ (ablution) for Fajr.  Then she would wrap him in blankets, herself cloaked in her Jilbaab, and guide him through the dark, cold alleys to reach the main Masjid, long before Fajr so that her son could get a good seat in class.  Her son Ahmad - at that age in grade 2 or 3 - would sit all day long studying Qur’aan and Sunnah, and she would wait for him to finish so that she could drop him home safely.  At the age of 16, she prepared money and food for him and told him,

"Travel for your search of knowledge."

He left for Makkah and Madinah and many other places and met many great scholars.  She raised Ahmad to become one of the four greatest Imams in Islam.

Dear sister, after all this, ask a non-Muslim what it is that he wants from you?  Does he want you to be liberated?  Liberated from what? From Allah and his Messenger?  From the Qur’aan and the Sunnah?  From Jannah?  From this way of life that Allah chose for you?

And what is he going to give you in return?  Happiness?  By Allah, he does not own happiness in order to give it.  Is he going to give you love and protection from punishment in the grave and from the gate keepers of hellfire and from death?  Why is it that they want to liberate young beautiful women?  Why don't they liberate the seniors?  Why don't they liberate the indigenous?  Why don't they liberate the inmates?  Why is their target audience a young and skinny and tall women (their definition of beauty) between the age of 13 – 28?  And why is their first call for you to take off your Hijaab?

Remember that friend – if you consider him so –without any doubt, by Allah - he shall be your bitterest enemy on the day of Repayment, {Friends on that day will be foes, one to another - except the Righteous} [Surah Zukhruf [43]:67)]

One non-Muslim woman summed up exactly what they think of women,

"It's not who you are, it's what you wear and what you look like!"

And listen to Fabian, a french `model', as she spit on the fashion industry.

"Fashion houses made me into a mannequin, a wooden idol.  The mission: to manipulate hearts and alter minds.  I learnt how to be worthless, nothing on the inside, cold.  We lived in a world of filth, in all that filth means."

When the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) stood on the plain of 'Arafah and gave his farewell speech he said to the Ummah (Muslim Nation), "Treat the women kindly!" History records that in Europe in the same year, at the same time that Islam was saying this, the Christian clergy were arguing whether a women was a human or an animal!  Those clergymen are the ancestors of those non-Muslims that now want to `liberate' you.

There is much more than can be said.  I shall conclude with the advice of Rasoolullah (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) to every Muslim mother, daughter, and wife, "If the women prays her five (Salaah), fasts her month (of Ramadan), protects herself (from committing Zina), and listens to her husband, it will be said to her, 'From any door you wish, enter Paradise!'" Sister, that is where you want to be.

Allah and His Messenger are calling you to life.  Dear Sister, reply!

 

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The following two narrations from the Sunnah explain how a Muslim’s enthusiasm for the Deen (religion) changes from time to time and also the essential point of not falling short of what is required during the period of inactivity and rest.

It is in these times in particular that an encouragement of other fellow Muslims is particularly beneficial. Ibn Shawdhab, from the third generation of Muslims, said,

"From Allah’s blessings upon a youth when he turns to worship is that he is given a brother who is a follower of the Sunnah encouraging him upon it."

Hanzalah al-Usayyidee (radiyallahu `anhu) said, "Abu Bakr met me and asked, ‘How are you O Hanzalah?’

I replied, ‘Hanzalah is guilty of hypocrisy!’ He said, ‘Free is Allah and far removed from all defects! What are you saying?’

I said, ‘When we are with Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, and he reminds us of the Fire and Paradise it is as if we are seeing it with our own eyes. Then when we depart from Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, to attend to our wives, children and our business, then much of this slips from our minds.’

Abu Bakr said, ‘By Allah we also experience the same.’

So I went with Abu Bakr until we entered upon Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam. I said, ‘When we are with you, you remind us of the Fire and of Paradise and it is as if we are seeing it with our eyes. Then when we depart from you and attend to our wives, children and business then much of this slips from our minds.’

So Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, said, ‘By Him in whose Hand is my soul if you remained continually as you are when you are with me and in remembering (Allah) then the angels would shake hands with you upon your beds and upon your roads. But O Hanzalah, (there is) a time for this and a time for that, (there is) a time for this and a time for that, (there is) a time for this and a time for that.’ [Muslim, no. 6623]

Ibn `Umar (radiyallahu `anhuma) said that Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, said, “For every action there is a period of enthusiasm/activity, and for every period of enthusiasm/activity there is a period of rest/inactivity. So he whose period of rest/inactivity is in accordance with my Sunnah then he is rightly guided, but he whose period of rest accords with other than this, then he is destroyed.” [Ahmad 2/188 and 210.]

 

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1. We can never count Allaah’s Blessings: Be ever grateful to Allaah for everything that you possess including your wealth, health, status, intellectual abilities and life.

Allaah says: 

“Is, then, He Who creates comparable to any that cannot create? Will you not, then, take heed? For should you try to count Allaah's blessings, you could never compute them…” (An-Nahl 16:17-19).

2. Shaytan’s primary mission is to make human beings ungrateful: From the very beginning of the human being's creation, the issue of gratefulness and thankfulness to Allaah has been debated. After refusing to bow to Adam, Satan said: 

“Then I will certainly come to them from before them and from behind them, and from the right-hand side and from the left-hand side, and You (Allaah) shall not find most of them thankful” (Al-Araf 7:17). 

3. The opposite of Shukr (gratitude) is Kufr (disbelief): In many places in the Quran, Allaah compares the terms Shukr and Kufr. “Then remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and do not reject Me” (Al-Baqarah, [002]:152). 

Imaan (belief) implies Shukr or gratefulness as opposed to Kufr or ungratefulness. A kafir or disbeliever is ungrateful to the Being Who has given him everything, whereas a Believer is one who is ever thankful for all that Allaah has given him.

4. We thank Allaah for our own benefit: If you are ungrateful, Allaah is unaffected. If you become grateful, then you have taken the first step towards becoming a true Believer. It is for this reason that the Prophet exhorted us to “Love Allaah as we benefit from His grace” (Tirmidhi).  

Allaah reminds us: “And whoever is grateful, he is only grateful for the benefit of his own self” (Luqmaan, [031]: 012). “For surely if it was not for the grace of God on you and His mercy, you would have been among the losers (Al-Baqarah 2:64).

5. True worship means sincere thankfulness to Allaah: Allaah explained in the Quran that the only people who truly worship Him are those who give gratitude to Him, so those who are not among the people of gratitude are not among the people of 'Ibaadah (worship and obedience). “... and be grateful to Allaah, if it is Him you worship” (Al-Baqarah, [002]:172).

6. Shukr leads to Allaah’s pleasure: Allaah has told us that His pleasure may be attained through gratitude. “…If you are grateful, He is pleased with you...” (Az-Zumar, [039]: 007).  

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Allaah is pleased with His servant if, when he eats something, he thanks Allaah for it, and when he drinks something, he thanks Allaah for it” (Muslim).

7. Gratitude is a purpose of our creation: “It is He Who brought you forth from the wombs of your mothers when you knew nothing; and He gave you hearing and sight and intelligence and affection: that you may give thanks (to Allaah)” (An-Nahl, [016]: 78).

8. Shukr is a quality of success in this life and in the Hereafter: Ibn 'Abbaas [r] narrated that the Prophet [p] said: “There are four qualities, whoever is given them has truly been given the best in this world and the next. They are: a grateful heart (that is thankful to Allaah), a remembering tongue (that mentions Allaah often), an enduring body (to persevere through the trials), and a faithful wife.”

9. Being grateful and patient in times of difficulty: Everything that happens to us - even events that we may consider to be personal afflictions or natural disasters-are from Allaah. Therefore, in times of calamity and distress, there will be some good for us, provided we respond appropriately.

The Prophet said: "How wonderful is the case of a Believer! There is good for him in whatever happens to him -and none, apart from him, enjoys this blessing. If he receives some bounty, he is grateful to Allaah and this bounty brings good to him. And if some adversity befalls him, he is patient, and this affliction, too, brings good to him." (Saheeh Muslim)

10. Allaah’s Mercy is for all, but most people will remain ungrateful: He shows and gives mercy to all, even those who continue to be ungrateful and rebellious towards Him: “Indeed God is the possessor of bounty for all people but most people do not give thanks.” (Al-Baqarah, [002]: 243).

11. Most people subconsciously thank God: Reflect upon your own life and you will find innumerable occasions when Allaah's `hand' has been holding you and helping you. So often, believers and even atheists subconsciously use the expression ‘Thank God’, without realising the full implications of our words.

12. Shukr leads to abundance in Allaah’s favors: If you appreciate Allaah’s favors, He has promised increased Rahmah or Mercy for you. Allaah’s reward for your gratitude is unlimited and unconditional. “If you are grateful, I will surely give you more and more.” (Ibraaheem, [014]: 007)

13. Three ways to express Shukr: The classical Muslim scholars have indicated Shukr can be shown in three ways:  

- Shukr of the heart (Qalb), which is achieved by harboring and intending good for all of Allaah's creation.  

- Shukr of the tongue (Lisaan), which involves celebrating the praises of Allaah, such as utterance of “Alhamdulillah”, and expressing gratefulness to Allaah with our tongue.  
- Shukr of the limbs (Jawaarih), which is fulfilled by using our external senses to do good. Every time Allaah gives us a blessing, we must use it in a way that benefits humanity and that pleases Allaah. 

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"The more people increase in comfort and luxury and the more they open up before the people [with the Dunya], the more evils will open up before them. It is comfort and luxury that destroys a person. Because if a person was to concern himself with comfort and luxury and providing enjoyment to his body, he will become negligent of providing enjoyment to his heart, and his greatest worry will become providing enjoyment to this body that is doomed to become worms and rotten.

This is the ordeal, and this is what has harmed people today. You can hardly find anyone except that they say: "What is our palace? What is our car? What is our furniture? What is our food?" Even those who study [Islamic] knowledge, some of them only study in order to gain rank or status to reach the blessings of the Dunya. As if man was not created for a significant purpose. The Dunya and its blessings are only a means, nothing more. We ask Allah to make us and you use it as a means.

Ibn Taimiyyah, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: "A person should use money as he uses a donkey to ride, and as he uses the toilet to relieve himself."

These are the ones who know money and its value. So do not make money your greatest worry, rather ride on money, for if you do not ride on it, it will ride on you, and your worry will become the Dunya.

For this, we say, that the more the Dunya opens up before the people, and they end up concerning themselves with it, they will lose as much of the Akhira as they have gained from the Dunya. The Prophet
Salla Allahou Alayhi wa salam
said: "By Allah, I am not afraid of your poverty," meaning I am not afraid of poverty for you, for the Dunya will open up before you, "but I am afraid that you will lead a life of luxury as past nations did, whereupon you will compete with each other for it, as they competed for it, and it will destroy you as it destroyed them." [Bukhari & Muslim].

The Messenger Salla Allahou Alayhi wa salam spoke the truth. This is what has destroyed the people today. What has destroyed the people today, is their competing with one another for the Dunya, and them being as if they were only created for it, and not it created for them. So they have preoccupied themselves with what was created for them over what they were created for. This is backwardness. We ask Allah for protection."

Source: Explanation of Riyadh-us-Saliheen [Chapter 10: Hastening to do Good Deeds, Hadeeth #92].

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Sitting in the Geography class in school, I remember how fascinated I was when we were being taught all about the Dead Sea. As you probably recall, the Dead Sea is really a Lake, not a sea (and as my Geography teacher pointed out, if you understood that, it would guarantee 4 marks in the term paper!) It’s so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. You can almost lie down and read a book! The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as 35% - almost 10 times the normal ocean water. And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea. No fish. No vegetation. No sea animals. Nothing lives in the Dead Sea.

And hence the name: Dead Sea.

While the Dead Sea has remained etched in my memory, I don't seem to recall learning about the Sea of Galilee in my school Geography lesson. So when I heard about the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea and the tale of the two seas - I was intrigued.

Turns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea receive their water from river Jordan. And yet, they are very, very different.

Unlike the Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life. There are lots of plants. And lots of fish too. In fact, the Sea of Galilee is home to over twenty different types of fishes.

Same region, same source of water, and yet while one sea is full of life, the other is dead. How come?

Here’s apparently why. The River Jordan flows into the Sea of Galilee and then flows out. The water simply passes through the Sea of Galilee in and then out - and that keeps the sea healthy and vibrant, teeming with marine life.

But the Dead Sea is so far below the mean sea level, that it has no outlet. The water flows in from the river Jordan, but does not flow out. There are no outlet streams. It is estimated that over 7 million tons of water evaporate from the Dead Sea every day. Leaving it salty. Too full of minerals. And unfit for any marine life.

The Dead Sea takes water from the River Jordan, and holds it. It does not give.

Result? No life at all.

Think about it.

Life is not just about getting. Its about giving. We all need to be a bit like the Sea of Galilee.

We are fortunate to get wealth, knowledge, love and respect. But if we don't learn to give, we could all end up like the Dead Sea. The love and the respect, the wealth and the knowledge could all evaporate. Like the water in the Dead Sea.

If we get the Dead Sea mentality of merely taking in more water, more money, more everything the results can be disastrous.

Good idea to make sure that in the sea of your own life, you have outlets. Many outlets. For love and wealth - and everything else that you get in your life. Make sure you don't just get, you give too.

Open the taps. And you'll open the floodgates to happiness. Make that a habit. To share. To give.

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The generous man did not want to be identified because his Muslim faith teaches that acts of charity are to be done anonymously

The recipient of the shoes was in 'shock' and asked the bus driver, 'did that just happen?'

The unidentified Good Samaritan later explained, 'I was only about a two-minute walk from home, so I thought I could give him my shoes'

A bus driver in Canada had a 'soul-touching' moment on Saturday when he watched as one selfless passenger gave his shoes and socks to a perfect stranger whose only footwear was a couple of plastic hairnets.

Bus driver Surjit Singh Virk - a 16-year veteran driver for the Coast Mountain Bus Co. in Vancouver - was off duty and returning from the Surrey B.C.’s Vaisakhi parade when he witnessed the random act of kindness.

Singh Virk managed to snap a few photos of the exchange and shared them on social media.

'It made my heart melt,' he told QMI Agency, a Canadian media company. 'He just took his shoes and socks off and said,

"You can take these, don't worry about me — I live close by and can walk."

'People usually don't care or even look at other people on the bus, they didn't even want to sit beside this guy because of how he was dressed.'

The kind-hearted man who selflessly handed over his shoes to his less-fortunate fellow passenger was reached by phone, but asked the news outlet to not identify him by name because his Islamic faith requires that charitable acts be done anonymously.

According to QMI, the man also was reluctant about allowing the use of his photo, but ultimately agreed.

'I felt bad for the guy,' the generous 27-year-old Surrey resident said. 'He was wearing plastic hairnets on his feet. I was only about a two-minute walk from home, so I thought I could give him my shoes.'

The anonymous Good Samaritan was coming from a nearby mosque when he noticed the man in need. 

Mufti Aasim Rashid, the spokesman for the B.C. Muslim Association - which runs the mosque where the man had been - told QMI that the selfless act would qualify as a general act of charity - a 'Sadaqa.'

'Whenever we do a good deed, even if it's to help someone out, the Islamic teachings maintain this should remain only for the pleasure of God,' Rashid said. 'It's nice to see people practicing the teachings ... it looks like he's really benefited.'

Singh Virk says he spoke with the recipient of the shoes after the Good Samaritan had gotten off the bus. He says the man was 'shocked.'

'What a nice guy... Did that really happen?”

Singh Virk quoted the man as saying.

The touching scene was reminiscent of NYPD Officer Larry DePrimo, who was famously photographed in November of 2012 as he bought a shoeless homeless man a pair of boots and heavy socks on a frigid day in New York City, and even helped him put them on. 

About a year later, DePrimo was promoted to detective. At the time, some of his new colleagues on the detective squad got him a special nameplate for his new desk: 'Larry (Boots) DePrimo.'

Source: Daily Mail.

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Some of the land around the Masjid of the Prophet (salaAllaahualihiWasSalam) in Madinah was owned by 'Uthman bin 'Affaan (radiyaAllaahu anhu). Even to this day, any building that takes form on that land is through his generous endowment to Madinah more than 1400 years ago.

The Story Behind Hotel 'Uthman ibn 'Affaan

When the early Muslims migrated to Madinah with the Prophet (SAW), they found the water there difficult to drink as they were accustomed to drinking the relatively sweeter Zamzam water in Makkah. So they went to the Prophet and told him about their difficulty, and informed him of a well in the city by the name of Rumah whose water tasted a lot like Zamzam.The problem, however, was that the owner of the well insisted on charging, even for a handful of water.

The Prophet had sent an offer for the well, a garden in paradise in exchange, however, the owner refused and said he would only accept money. When 'Uthman ibn 'Affaan came to learn of the incident, of the Prophet's declaration of something better than the well in Paradise for whoever can secure it for the community, he went to the owner and placed an offer to buy the well. The owner declined, at which point 'Uthman asked him to sell him half of it or rent the well: a day for Muslims and a day for him to sell to whoever he wishes. He agreed. Subsequently, this resulted in everyone going to drink from the well on 'Uthman's day, leaving the owner with no customers!

The owner felt at a loss and quickly rushed to 'Uthman, "you have spoilt my well, now buy it off me". 'Uthman agreed and it was sold for 20 thousand dirhams, which he then assigned as endowment in Allaah's name (waqf lillah) for all Muslims to drink from. Later on, one of the Companions came to 'Uthman and offered to buy the well for double its price. 'Uthman asked him to raise his offer. He proposed triple the price. 'Uthman, again, asked him to raise the price until the buyer agreed to pay nine times the original price. With 'Uthman still not consenting, the Companion, bemused, asked him, "who will offer you more than me?". 'Uthman responded,

"Allaah. He gave me ten times the one good deed".

After 'Uthman had left the well behind for Muslims as an endowment, date-palms started to grow around it. More recently, the Ottoman Empire attended to those palms and looked after them. When Madinah came into the hands of the Saudi government, it further attended to the date-palms and cultivated more of them until they reached around 1550 in number.The Government, through the Ministry of Agriculture, would sell the dates in markets and divide the proceeds into two: one half was distributed amongst orphans and the poor, the other half went in a special bank account in 'Uthman ibn 'Affaan's name which they Ministry of Endowments oversee. This carried on until the account had accumulated enough money to buy land in the central area next to the Prophet's mosque and, through the bank account, construction of a grand hotel has began!

The building is in its final stages and is to be leased out to one of the major 5 star hotel companies. It is speculated to generate revenue in the region of 50 million riyals per annum, half of which will be distributed to orphans and the poor and the other half will be gathered in the bank account under 'Uthman ibn 'Affaan's name. The land is also officially registered in the local municipality under the name of 'Uthman ibn 'Affaan.

As they say, business with Allaah is always profitable. May Allaah be pleased with him.

 

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Streaks of sunlight streamed in through the red velvet curtains. Lost in her thoughts, Sameera was busy scribbling away in a diary.

"The lonely rose,
Jolted in misery and gloom,
Darkness all around,
My fate is never to bloom..."

She loosely constructed some verses of poetry to empty out the cries of her aching heart. She could no longer bear it. "Why are my prayers not answered? Why am I destined to never achieve what I desire? Why?" There were so many unanswered questions circling inside her mind. She had racked her brain on the monthly budget this time to manage saving for a few extra things she wanted. Three new sweaters and a pair of sandals for Bilal, a new dress and handbag for herself, a cutlery set and a few other accessories; the list of things she had made will have to be postponed for yet another month. Bilal, her two year old son was down with fever and all her savings ended up with some clerk in the medical stores.

Sameera could picture her sister in law, Raheela, boasting about her tableware. She could imagine her friends swaggering about the attire of their children. "Oh! I choose the best for my chipmunks! Sadaf so wanted this frock and I didn't have the heart to refuse." She recalled one her friend's remarks. Anger, frustration and self-pity stewed inside her heart. The poor soul thought about how she would feel out of water among all the other fishes as they discussed their shopping sprees. Sameera would just have her lips tightly closed. She had nothing to tell. At times, the others would quip about the number of times they had seen their comrade in the same clothes, carrying the same handbag and wearing the same shoes. Their memories were sharp enough to remember what she wore months back in the wedding of a distant cousin.

"Why??" she mumbled aloud. "Life is terrible!" Sleeping on the bed beside, her husband could now hear the sound of muffled cries. He knew his wife too well to wonder what must have gone wrong. He, with the caring nature he had, tried his utmost to provide the best for his family. However, the winds were bitter and despite all his efforts the needs in such a society never end.

A tiny finger tugged at the end of her shirt. "Kids will never let you sit in peace", Sameera sighed and turned to the darling face. It was Bilal wanting to cuddle in the heavenly spot that heals and comforts; his mother's lap. Overcoming her previous feelings she started ruffling his curls and rummaged for the thermometer. Alhumdulillah, after copious wakeful nights, Bilal was now recovering.

"I am going to meet an old friend of mine, Sameera. It has been a long time since I met him. Do you want to come along?" Asim asked as he was getting ready to leave the following day.

"I don't want to ruin another evening with a snooty woman boasting around me. I'll just stay home I guess."

"She won't be that way I hope. I've heard her to be very simple." He assured.

After a quiet twenty minute drive, the three of them arrived at the gate of a fairly old but well-kept house. Brother Ismael welcomed them inside. His two sons whom she assumed were identical twins jumped up and down in excitement, they wanted to shake hands with a sleepy Bilal. Sameera was lead inside as the men settled themselves in the guestroom. All the while the woman in her was doing the same job she detested. Those eagle eyes scanned everything in the house from top to bottom; the furniture and their polish, the curtains and their rods, the carpet and upholsters. Nothing was as grand, as new or as perfect. However, the house-keeper deserved an extra mark for neatness. A plump little lady greeted her as she entered the lounge. She was holding a baby in the other hand. "Whoa!" Sameera exclaimed instinctively. The sofa had sunk as she tried to sit down. "Oh I'm sorry! You may take this chair over here; the kids have broken the sofa springs!" Asiya smiled and offered an arm chair. Sameera noticed that the baby did not appear normal. He was a mentally disabled child.

The table had been set for tea beforehand. Spicy egg sandwiches, biscuits and a delicious looking cake were waiting to be tried over. The host poured out tea as the two of them introduced. A vigorous tête-à-tête followed; it was all about children, food, family and the town. All the while the woman was patiently tending to the child, as well as her two naughty twins who kept interrupting from time to time for a biscuit, or to tell that daddy needed something.

"How old is your daughter Asiya?" Sameera asked inquisitively.

"Five years." She replied with a smile. That warm smile looked as if it was fastened to her face.

"Hmm...I feel so sorry for you Asiya. I see you are having a real tough time." said Sameera.

"Sorry? There's nothing to be sorry for. Ahumdulillah! I am so blessed. I have food in my fridge that can last for more than a week, I've a ceiling over me to safeguard and I have a loving family. There's everything I can ask for. And this dear little daughter over here, she is the greatest blessing of all. She reminds me of Allah! What if in her absence I never turned to Him, never prayed to Him and just cascaded away in the luxuries of this world?

...Sameera listened quietly as she reflected on her own state. The forlorn heart that lied inside her was in such dire need of this reminder. "Yes", she thought to herself, "the sweaters can wait; the older ones are still as good as new. The new cutlery set I wanted was just a luxury. The dress Mama gave me last month will suffice for the upcoming wedding..." she was reviewing her list. This was not a list of needs; it was a list of wants. She reminded herself of all the bounties she had been blessed with, they were immeasurable! Contentment and bliss engulfed her heart.

"Alhumdulillah, indeed you are right." She replied with a nod.

Sameera blinked away a tear that had crept up silently... Do I really not have enough?... Or was I being ungrateful?

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Brothers (AlFatihaGlobal) from Luton were taking this ambulance to Syria for refugees. On the way to Syria the ambulance broke down in Greece and wouldn't move. One of the brother made a Dua: "Oh Allah send your angels to help us", after making the Dua,the following happened...

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ثُمَّ لَآتِيَنَّهُم مِّن بَيْنِ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِمْ وَعَنْ أَيْمَانِهِمْ وَعَن شَمَائِلِهِمْ ۖ وَلَا تَجِدُ أَكْثَرَهُمْ شَاكِرِينَ

{Then I will come to them from before them and from behind them and on their right and on their left, and You will not find most of them grateful [to You].}

(Al-A'raaf [7], Verse 17.)

*Please click here if you can't see the above video.

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Hasad (jealousy and envy) is among the most destructive emotions or feeling which a man may have towards his fellow human being. It causes him to wish evil for others and to be happy when misfortune befalls them. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) warned against envy by comparing it to fire that completely burns the wood. He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood." [Abu Dawood]

Hasad is a disease of the heart and it causes impurity to the heart, when Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) was asked who are the best of people? He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) replied: "The one with a clean heart and truthful tongue." They asked: 'We understand a truthful tongue, but what does a clean heart mean?' He answered: 'It is the heart of one that is pious, pure, and is free of sin, transgressions, hatred and Hasad." [Ibn Majah]

Hasad is such a dangerous characteristic that Allah revealed verses of the Qur'aan to be recited as a protection from the jealous, "Say: I seek refuge in the Lord of the dawn from the evil of envious when he envies." [Soorah al-Falaq (113): 1]

At-Tirmidhee narrated from Al-Zubayr Ibn al-'Awwam that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "There has come to you the disease of the nations before you, jealousy and hatred. This is the 'shaver' (destroyer); I do not say that it shaves hair, but that it shaves (destroys) faith." [(Hasan) Jamee at-Tirmidhee (2434)]

Hasad can cause the person to indulge in disbelief because it causes the individual to feel that Allah has not been fair with him; he forgets all the mercy and blessings which Allah has bestowed upon him. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "They are enemies for Allah's bounties." They asked: "Who are they?" He said: "Those who envy people for what Allah has given them of Bounty." [At-Tabaranee]

Allah through His Absolute Wisdom has given some people more wealth, intelligence, beauty, strength, children, etc. than others. The believing Muslim should be content with what Allah has destined for him.

Allah says: "Allah favored some of you over others with wealth and properties. Do they deny the favors of Allah?" [Soorah an-Nahl (16): 71]

And: "Do they envy men for what Allah has given them of His Bounty?" [Soorah an-Nisa (4): 54]

"It is We Who portion out between them their livelihood in this world, and We raised some of them above others in ranks, so that some may employ others in their work. But the mercy of your Lord is better." [Soorah az-Zukhruf (43): 32] This means that the mercy of Allah is better than the convenience of the world. The materials of this life do not make one superior to another in Allah's Judgment. True superiority lies in Taqwa (righteousness, fear of Allah). He said: "Surely, the most noble of you to Allah is the most God-fearing." [Soorah al-Hujurat (49): 13] "And the Hereafter with Your Lord is (only) for those who have Taqwa." [Soorah az-Zukhruf (43): 35]

Dear Sisters, what belongs to the transient world is of no significance before Allah. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "If this world were worth a mosquito's wing before Allah, He would not give a disbeliever a drink of water." [At-Tirmidhee]

The favors of Allah in the world are a test; the more the favors, the more the tests. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: "Umar Ibn Khattab wrote this letter to Abu Musa al-Ash'ari,

'Be content with your provision in this world, for the Most Merciful has honored some of His servants over others in terms of provision as a test of both. The one who has been given plenty is being tested to see if he will give thanks to Allah and fulfill the duties which are his by virtue of his wealth." [Ibn Hatim]

Allah, the Exalted, has therefore forbidden us from desiring what others have, "Do not wish for what we have favored some of you over others." [Soorah an-Nisa (4): 32]

In order to discourage envy, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Do not look to those above you. Look to those below you, as it will more likely remind you of Allah's favors bestowed on you." [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim] On another occasion, he said: "If one of you looks at someone wealthier and better built than him, he should also look at someone of lower standard than himself." [Saheeh Muslim]

Islaam permits Ghibtah

What Islaam permits in contrast to Hasad (destructive jealousy) is Ghibtah (envy that is free from malice), which means neither loving the loss of the blessing nor hating for it to remain with the person, but desiring the same for oneself without the removal of the blessing from others.

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Envy is allowed in two cases, in case of a man whom Allah has given the Qur'aan and who recites it throughout night and day; and a man on whom Allah has bestowed wealth who gives it away throughout night and day." [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]

He  (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) also explained what may be said: "I wish I were given what he was given and did with it what he did."

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "The similitude of the people of this Ummah is like four individuals. One whom Allah has given wealth and knowledge, so he handles his wealth with the knowledge. One whom Allah has given knowledge but not wealth and he says, 'Lord, should I have wealth like so-and-so I would have handled it like him.' So they both have the same reward. Such a person loves to have wealth like others so he can do good like others without wishing that the others lose their wealth. Another man, Allah has given him wealth but no knowledge and he spends his wealth in disobedience to Allah. And last, a man whom Allah has not given knowledge nor wealth but he says, 'Should I have wealth like so-and-so, I would spend it in the way he does.' So, both will have the same sin against them." [at-Tirmidhee and Ibn Majah]

Some Reasons that cause a person to have Jealosy

Anger and Malice: When one is hurt by someone for any reason, he is angered, and his anger produces malice and urge for revenge in the heart. The slave begins to desire harm for the other person, he enjoys when he sees him in hardships and he may further thinks that Allah has done it to him as an evil reward!

And if the person is blessed with a gift, he grieves and this is Hasad, which does not harm the envied person but it hurts and destroys the Hasid (one who has Hasad) himself.

In order to close the door to this evil Islaam advises the Muslims to be forgiving in nature and control one's anger. Allah says in the Qur'aan: "Those who spend (in Allah's Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men. Verily, Allah loves the good doers." [Soorah al-Imran (3): 134]

Arrogance, Pride and Love for fame: When a person achieves a high status and position in the society or gains wealth, he hates to see someone other than him compete or go ahead of him or be praised over him. So, he envies the former person.

An example of this can be taken of the Jews and their Hasad towards Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) for the Prophethood that Allah entrusted him with. Their envy made them reject the divine message given to him, because he was an Arab and not from the Children of Israel. It was their Hasad which caused them to make statements as such, "It is these that Allah as favored among us?" [Soorah al-Anam (6): 53] "And they say: 'Why is not this Qur'aan sent down to some great man of the two towns?" [Soorah az-Zukhruf (43): 31] and in Soorah al-Muminoon (23): 34, "If you were to obey a human being life yourselves, then verily, you indeed would be losers."

This also shows one of the grave dangers of Hasad that Hasad hinders the person from following the truth and accepting advice from others just as the Hasad of the disbelievers prevented them from accepting Islam.

Evil Nature of the person: Some people, even though they may not be harmed or threatened by other people's success, grieve when they hear about some good happening to others, and enjoy in their adversities. Neither do they seek progress for themselves nor do they wish others to progress!! Such kind of defect is difficult to cure because the reason behind their evil attitude is the evil nature of the person which does not allow him to accept other people's success.

Repentance and Getting Rid of Jealousy

Firstly, the believer should have sincerity in repenting from Hasad as Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Three things that every heart of a believer should not hate to have is sincerity in actions, rendering advise to leaders and holding to Jama'ah (community) of the Muslims, for their supplication surrounds everyone with them." [Ahmad and Ibn Majah]

Second requirement to get rid of Hasad is to get rid of all those means which cause one to have Hasad like anger, hatred, love for the world and discontentment.

Discontentment comes from the slave's ignorance of his Lord. If he recognizes his Lord with the attributes of Perfection, All-Knowledgeable and All-Just to his slaves, he would not be discontent and as a result would not develop Hasad.

Imam Ibn Qayyim (rahimahullah) said:

"It (contentment) opens the door of peace and security for the slave."

It makes his heart pure from hatred, evil and malice. The more content the person is, the purer his heart is. However, this does not mean that the slave should not make efforts to improve his situation. A slave should work to gain success and progress but he should not envy those whom Allah has granted more wealth or possession but he should be content with the decisions of Allah.

Thirdly, the slave should turn towards the Qur'aan which is a healing for the diseases of the heart. Allah says: "O mankind! There has come to you a good advice from your Rabb and a healing for that in your chests." [Soorah Yunus (10): 57]

Supplicate to Allah to purify your heart. Allah said in the Qur'aan: "And those who came after them say: 'Our Lord! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in Faith and put not in our hearts any hatred against those who have believed. Our Lord! You are indeed full of kindness, Most Merciful." [Soorah al-Hashr (59): 10]

Give Sadaqah (charity) for it purifies the heart and sanctifies the soul. It is for this reason Allah said to His Prophet: "Take Sadaqah from their wealth in order to purify them and sanctify them with it." [Soorah at-Tawbah (9): 103]

If thoughts of Hasad cross one's mind, he should seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan and busy himself with something that will dispel these insinuating whispers and thoughts.

But if the Shaytan manages to instill Hasad in the hearts, then beware lest you say or do anything which will show Hasad. A person will not be brought to account for whatever crosses his mind, but he will be brought to account for what he says and does.

Shaikh al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyah said:

"Nobody is free from Hasad, but the noble person hides it whilst the base person shows it." [Amraad al-Quloob]

If you feel that you are jealous of a specific person, then buy him a gift, shake hands with him and give him salaams for Hasad is the result of hatred and the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Shake hands, for this will dispel rancour, and exchange gifts and love one another, for this will dispel hatred." [Narrated by Maalik in al-Muwatta (1413)]

Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu) narrated that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "By Allah, in Whose Hand is my soul, you will never enter Paradise until you believe. And you will not believe unless you love one another. May I tell you something that if you do, you may love one another? Spread Salaam amongst yourselves." Ibn Abdul-Barr said:

"This proves that Salaam can lift hatred and produce love." [Saheeh Muslim]

"A Man from the People of Paradise will enter now..."

Anas Ibn Malik (radhi allahu anhu) reported that he and other companions were sitting with the Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) who said: "A man from the people of Paradise will enter now." And a man from Al-Ansar entered, with his beard dripping with water from Wudhu (ablution), and holding his sandals in his left hand.

The following day, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said the same thing and the same man entered.

On the third day, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) again repeated his statement and the same man entered with water dripping and holding his sandals.

When the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) left, Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn al-As (radhi allahu anhu) followed the man and said: 'I quarreled with my father and I swore I would not go to him for three days and night. Would you shelter me for these days?' the man replied: 'Yes.'

Anas said: 'Abdullah said that he stayed with this man for three nights and he did not see him praying at night, but every time he moved and changed position in bed he would remember Allah saying, 'Allahu Akbar' until Salat-ul-Fajr."

Abdullah said: 'I didn't hear anything from him but good. When the three nights had passed, I said: 'O slave of Allah! I really didn't abandon my father nor was I angry with him. But, I heard the Messenger of Allah speaking of you on three separate occasions, the Prophet [p] had said that a man from the people of Paradise would enter, and you were the one to enter on all the three times. So, I wanted to stay with you to see what you do so that I could follow you. But I have not seen you doing much. So what is that you do for Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) to say what he had said?'

The man replied: 'It is nothing more than what you saw.' When it was time to leave, he called me back and said:

'Yes, it is nothing more than what you saw, except that I have no place in myself for ill-intentions or Hasad towards any Muslim and what Allah has given them.'

Abdullah said: 'This is what has made you deserving of the praise and this is what we cannot do." [Musnad Ahmad]

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Know dear sister, that all of Allaah's creation is good, but Allaah may test a slave with sickness or a defect or ugliness and the like due to a wisdom He is aware of, and a benefit He wished for you to attain.

Beauty and ugliness are like sickness and health, wealth and poverty, and success and failure; Allaah has distributed all provisions between His slaves through His vast wisdom, perfect mercy and abundant favour upon His slaves. Granting of any of those things or others is not an indication of Allaah's love for the one to whom He granted or provided those things. Nor is withholding any of them a sign of His displeasure towards the one being deprived. Allaah says (what means):

 فَأَمَّا الإنْسَانُ إِذَا مَا ابْتَلاهُ رَبُّهُ فَأَكْرَمَهُ وَنَعَّمَهُ فَيَقُولُ رَبِّي أَكْرَمَنِي * وَأَمَّا إِذَا مَا ابْتَلاهُ فَقَدَرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقَهُ فَيَقُولُ رَبِّي أَهَانَنِي * كَلا بَل لا تُكْرِمُونَ الْيَتِيمَ * وَلا تَحَاضُّونَ عَلَى طَعَامِ الْمِسْكِينِ * وَتَأْكُلُونَ التُّرَاثَ أَكْلا لَمًّا * وَتُحِبُّونَ الْمَالَ حُبًّا جَمًّا 

"15. And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says,

"My Lord has honored me."
16. But when He tries him and restricts his provision, he says, "My Lord has humiliated me."
17. No! But you do not honor the orphan
18. And you do not encourage one another to feed the poor.
19. And you consume inheritance, devouring [it] altogether,
20. And you love wealth with immense love." (al-Fajr 15-20)

Sh. As-S'adi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

"Allaah the Exalted informs of the nature of man as he is, that he is ignorant and unjust, and does not know the outcomes of things. He thinks that whatever condition he is in will continue and never cease and he thinks that Allaah's honouring him and favouring him in this world is an indication of his honour and and closeness to Him. And when "He tries him and restricts his provision" such that he has only his needs with nothing extra, then this is an insult from Allaah. So Allaah responds to him his estimation by saying (what means) "No!" i.e. Not everyone I have bestowed favours upon in the world is honoured by Me, and not everyone whom I have restricted provisions for is lowly before Me. Rather, wealth and poverty and abundance and restrictedness are tests from Allaah and trials which He puts His slaves through, to see who is grateful to him and who is patient so that He may reward them a great reward for it as compared to those who do not, so they are given a painful punishment. As well: A slaves aspirations may not go beyond himself, due to weakness in zeal, so Allaah rebukes them for not being concerned about the affairs of the needy creation..." (End quote from Tafsir as-S'adi (924))

If people were to follow such an example in their speech of ingratitude, thought and displeasure over the will of their Lord and His destiny for them  there would only be complainers and disgruntled people on earth.

The ill would say: "Why have you made me ill and saved the people?" The poor would say: "Why have you made me poor and made others wealthy?" Those being tried would say: "Why are you trying me and left others in a good state?"

The believer is to be pleased, observe patience and anticipate reward while others become annoyed with and complain about their Lord.

Do you not realize that you have two eyes with which you can see while millions cannot even see?! Do you not see that you are able to walk on your own two feet, you go and come wherever you wish while an infinite number of people are paralyzed and disabled?! Let's say you lost all that; do you not realize Allaah's favour of Islaam upon you, and that He chose you for this great favour (which all the pleasures of the earth cannot equal) over most of the creation who do not believe in Allaah. On the Day of Resurrection, Allaah the Exalted will say (what means):

يَقُولُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى : يَا آدَمُ ! فَيَقُولُ لَبَّيْكَ وَسَعْدَيْكَ وَالْخَيْرُ فِي يَدَيْكَ . فَيَقُولُ : أَخْرِجْ بَعْثَ النَّارِ 

قَالَ : وَمَا بَعْثُ النَّارِ ؟ قَالَ : مِنْ كُلِّ أَلْفٍ تِسْعَ مِائَةٍ وَتِسْعَةً وَتِسْعِينَ

"'Oh Adam!' And he will respond, 'Here I am and blessed by You, and all good is in Your hands.' Then He will say: 'Remove the delegation of the fire!' He will say: 'And what is the delegation of the fire?' He will say: 'From every thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine'." (Al-Bukhaari (3099) and Muslim (327))

O Maidservant of Allaah! Ponder over the following story: 

Al-Awza'i narrates from 'Abdullah ibn Muhammad that he said:

I went out to the shore as a patrolman and our patrol at the time was in 'Areesh Misr. When I arrived at the shore, I came upon an open area and there was tent on it. In the tent was a man who had no hands and legs and he was hard of hearing and sight. None of his limbs were of benefit to him but his tongue, and was saying:

اللَّهُمَّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَن أحمدك حمدا أكافىء بِهِ شُكْرَ نِعْمَتِكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ بِهَا عَلَيَّ وَفَضَّلْتَنِي على كَثِيرٍ مِمَّنْ خَلَقْتَ تَفْضِيلا 

"O Allaah, grant me (the ability) to praise you a praise through which I can sufficiently thank You for the favours You have bestowed upon me and by which You have preferred me over many whom You have created a great preference."

Al-Awzaa'I said: 'Abdullah said: By Allaah, I will certainly go to this man and I shall certainly ask him about this speech. Whether it was an understanding, or knowledge or inspiration which was inspired to him?

So I approached the man and greeted him and said to him: I heard you and you were saying: "O Allaah, grant me (the ability) to praise you a praise through which I can sufficiently thank You for the favours You have bestowed upon me and by which You have preferred me over many whom You have created a great preference", so what favour from the favours of Allaah upon you are you praising Him for? And in what way did He prefer you over others a great preference that you need to thank Him for it?

He said: "Don't you see what my Lord has done? By Allaah, if He sent the sky to me as a fire which burned me, or ordered the mountains to crush me, or the oceans to drown me, or the earth to swallow me up; it would only cause me to be more grateful to my Lord for the favour of this tongue He bestowed upon me...

However, O slave of Allaah: As long as you have come to me, I have a need of you! Perhaps you see me and the state I am in, I cannot harm nor benefit myself. I had a young son who used to come to me at the time of prayer and help me do my ablution, and when I became hungry he'd feed me, and I became thirsty he'd provide me with a drink but I have missed him for the last three days, so please look for him on my behalf may Allaah have mercy on you."

I said: "By Allaah, no creature could fulfill the need of another which is greater in reward with Allaah than a need similar to yours." So I set out looking for the young boy, and I hadn't gone far before I came by a sand hill, and behold I found the boy who had been preyed upon by a beast which ate his flesh! I did Istirjaa' (saying Indeed we belong to Allaah and to Him is our return) and said: "How am I going to be able to face this man with a gentle face?!"

As I was heading towards him, the Dhikr (words of remembrance) of Ayyub the Prophet (may Allaah's peace and blessings be upon him) came to my heart. So when I reached him I greeted him and he responded and said: "Are you not my companion?" I said, "Yes!" He said: "What did you do about my need?" I said: "Are you more honourable in the site of Allaah or was Ayyub the Prophet?" He said, "Of course Ayyub the Prophet". I said: "Do you know what His Lord did with him? Did He not test him in his wealth, family and children?" He said, "Yes." I said: "How did He find him?" He said: "He found him patient, grateful and praising". I said: "He was not pleased with that for him until his relatives and loved ones deserted him?" He said, "Yes". I said: "How did His Lord find him?" He said: "He found him patient, grateful and praising; make it short may Allaah have mercy on you" I said to him: "The young boy you sent me in search of, I found him in a sand hill having been preyed upon by a beast which had eaten his flesh. May Allaah increase for you tour reward and may He inspire you with patience."

The tested man said:

 الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي لَمْ يَخْلُقْ مِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي خَلْقًا يَعْصِيهِ فَيُعَذِّبَهُ بِالنَّارِ

"Praise be to Allaah Who did not create from my progeny creations who would disobey Him and He would then punish them by the fire.

He then did istirjaa' and breathed a sigh and died."

I said: "Indeed to Allaah we belong and to Him is our return. What a huge calamity before me; a man like this, if I were to leave him the beasts would eat him, and if I stay I won't be able to harm nor benefit. So I covered him in a cloak which was over him and sat at his head crying."

As I was sitting, four men came upon me and said: "O slave of Allaah, what is your situation and what is your story?" So I told them my story and his. They said to me: "Uncover his face for us, perhaps we know him." I uncovered his face and the men fell upon him kissing his eyes and his hands alternately and saying: "May our father be sacrificed; for how long these eyes were lowered from the prohibitions of Allaah. May our father be sacrificed; for how long this body prostrated before Allaah while the people were sleeping."

I said: "Who is this, may Allaah have mercy on you?" They said,"This is Abu Qilabah al-Jurmi, the companion of Ibn 'Abbas (r). He had tremendous love for Allaah and the Prophet of Allaah (may Allaah's peace and blessings be upon him)!!"

So we washed him and shrouded him with clothing we had with us and prayed over him and buried him. The men left and I went back to my station. When night fell, I put my head down and saw him in a dream, in a garden from the gardens of Paradise wearing two garments from the garments of Paradise while reciting the revelation (which means):

 سَلامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ فَنِعْمَ عُقْبَى الدَّارِ 

"Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home." (13:24).

I said: "Aren't you my companion?" He said, "Yes". I said: "How did you receive this?!" He said: "Verily, with Allaah are levels that cannot be attained except with patience at times of trial and gratitude at times of prosperity along with fear of Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic, in private and in public". - End quote from "Ath-Thiqaat" by Ibn Hibbaan (5:3-5)

Lessons to be learnt

Have you seen the state of this slave, O Maidservant of Allaah?

Did you see his praise of and pleasure with his Lord?

Did you see how the blessing of faith from Allaah was greater to him than all he lost?

Do you see that there are many things for which you and others can still praise and thank Allaah for?

They are innumerable, let alone being able to properly thank Allaah for them. So, O Maidservant of Allaah, don't deprive yourself of those lofty positions by being upset with the will of Allaah or by thinking evil of Him, or allowing your tongue to tire of remembering Allaah and praising Him and thanking Him, and instead turning to blaming Him and having a bad opinion of Him.

If you don't have a share of beauty, then what did the non-Muslim woman who was deprived of Islaam do with her beauty while your Lord granted it (Islaam) to you? Where will she be tomorrow if she died upon disbelief? Will her beauty be of benefit to her on the Day when neither wealth nor children will be of benefit, except those who come to Allaah with pure hearts?

Would you really be pleased with the alternative? That you be beautiful but non-Muslim and that she be ugly but Muslim?

There are many such questions you need to ask yourself and answer in light of this reality in which you are displeased with your Lord.

Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic, says (what means):

 وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَى مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِ أَزْوَاجًا مِنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَ

"And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring." (20:131)

Sh. As-S'adi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

"i.e. Don't extend your eyes out of amazement and don't keep looking out of approval at what people are enjoying of worldly gains such as tasty food and drink and fancy clothing and adorned homes and beautified women, for all that is from the splendor of worldly life which the souls of deceived ones rejoice over, and which the eyes of the negligent are amazed, and which the wrongdoers enjoy – without thinking of the hereafter. Then it all passes by quickly and disappears and kills those who love and adore it and they regret at a time when regret is of no benefit. Then when come forward at the time of Resurrection they will know what they were upon and that Allaah had only placed it as a trial and test, to see who would be deceived by it as opposed to who would be better in deed." (Tafsir as-S'adi, (pg. 516))

The Exalted says (what means):

 إنا جعلنا ما على الأرض زينة لها لنبلوهم أيهم أحسن عملا * وإنا لجاعلون ما عليها صعيدا جرزا 

"Indeed, We have made that which is on the earth adornment for it that We may test them [as to] which of them is best in deed.

And indeed, We will make that which is upon it [into] a barren ground." (18:7)

The immediate provisions of your Lord of knowledge, faith and the reality of righteous deeds and the deferred provisions of everlasting pleasures and a good life in the neighbourhood of your Lord, the Merciful, is greater (in essence and description) than what We have bestowed upon some and it is more lasting for it never gets cut off; food and shelter is continuous as the Exalted says (what means):

بل تؤثرون الحياة الدنيا والآخرة خير وأبقى 

"But you prefer the worldly life, While the Hereafter is better and more enduring." (87:16-17)

In this verse there is an indication that if a slave sees himself having cravings for the beauties of the world and is inclined towards them, he should remind himself of what is ahead from the provisions of his Lord and balance between the two.

Indeed your happiness lies your having a good opinion of your Lord, and your Lord (His Glory is great) is as one hopes Him to be, so He is more deserving than beauty and He is worthy of fear and adequate for [granting] forgiveness.

Your happiness lies in being pleased with Allaah's choice for you and in knowing that it is better than what you choose for yourself and in asking Allaah of His bounties and in knowing that He is appreciative and Knowing and Wise and Merciful.

So, O Maidservant of Allaah! Hasten to repentance to your Lord from what the devil has cast into your heart and caused to flow from your pen or tongue from displeasure of the decree of Allaah and displeasure at the distribution of Allaah and having a bad opinion of Allaah (may He be exalted). And know that the favours of Allaah upon you and others is far from being enumerated and accounted for by you. Allaah the Exalted says (what means):

 وَإِنْ تَعُدُّوا نِعْمَتَ اللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَا إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَظَلُومٌ كَفَّارٌ

"And if you should count the favor of Allaah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful." (14:34)

And the Exalted said (what means):

 وَإِنْ تَعُدُّوا نِعْمَةَ اللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَغَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ 

"And if you should count the favors of Allaah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allaah is Forgiving and Merciful." (16:18)

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I ran away from my non Muslim family who wanted to kill me. I had no money and nowhere to live. I was sleeping rough in a park. SOLACE immediately found a place for me to stay.

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I have learning difficulties and became Muslim in 2007 in a small village in Yorkshire. I tried to find Muslims to teach me how to pray. I went to one mosque and they told me women were not allowed here and closed the door in my face. With the help of SOLACE in 2011, I have just learnt how to recite surah fatiha.

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Narrated Ibn 'Abbaas (radhi Allaahu anhu): I heard Allaah's Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) saying,

"If the son of Adam had money equal to a valley, then he will wish for another similar to it, for nothing can fill (satisfy) the eye of Adam's son except dust. And Allaah (Subhahanu wata'alaa) forgives him who (repents to Him &) begs for His pardon." [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari, Hadeeth No. 445, Vol. 8]

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"The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) delivered a lengthy sermon one day covering the affairs of the world and the Hereafter.

He also said: 'Surely, the first thing that destroyed the Bani Israa'eel were the poor and needy women who went to great lengths for their clothes and colours. They wore colourful clothes which only the wealthy women could afford.'

He then mentioned one woman of the Bani Israil who was short-statured. She got for herself wooden sandals to conceal her height and got made for herself a ring with an opening which was locked from the top. She filled it with musk. She then walked with tall or fat women. The people sent a man behind them and he recognized the tall women but not the one with wooden sandals." [Sahih Muslim]

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) cautioned his Companions about the world and its colourful life, and encouraged them to think of the Hereafter. He advised them to refrain from doing what the Bani Israa'eel had done that caused them to become accursed. He traced for them the roots of the destruction of the Bani Israa'eel.

The beginning of their destruction lay in their wealthy people making ostentatious displays in matters of dress, personal adornment, eating and drinking. They spent lavishly on these things. Poor people were impressed by the standard of the rich, the poor men's wives vied with the rich men's wives, tried to fit in with them, and do as they did. This burdened the poor men considerably.

When rich people act a certain way, it is but natural that the poor will sooner or later try to imitate them. This will then compound their financial problems for them.

Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) did not give some people wealth so that they could lord it over others. He gave it to them to earn their Hereafter with it. It is human nature to want to distinguish oneself. But Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) put this ambition in us so that we try to outdo each other in racing to Jannah and trying to acquire its higher levels. This is what the Sahaabah competed for.

We, on the other hand, compete for the petty distinctions of this world. We try to show that we are better than others based on the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, the languages we speak, and the technology we use. These are false standards of judgement.

Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) commands women to use the veil, adopt a simple life, and disdain artificiality.

The aim of a Muslim is not to gain prominence in worldly life but to prepare himself/herself for the Hereafter and seek the pleasure of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala).

"And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists), the splendor of the life in this world, that We may test them thereby." (Quran 20:131)

"My similitude and that of the life of this world is that of a traveler who took a rest at mid-day under a shade of a tree and then left it." (Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and al-Hakim)

"Be in this world like a stranger, or a wayfarer." (Bukhari)

"When Allah ( Azza wa Jall) gives a person whatever he loves of the worldly benefits despite his disobedience, then that is a gradual enticement." (Ahmad and al-Bayhaqi)

"The Hour has drawn near, whereas the people have become more greedy for the life of the world and more remote from Allah." (Al-Hakim)

Yahya Ibn Mu'ath, may Allah be pleased with him, said:

"I don't order you to abandon life but to abandon sins. Abandoning life is a virtue and abandoning sins is a duty, so your need for this latter is greater than your need for the former."

This life is full of benefits and fortunes: The land on which man constructs his dwelling, and grows his food, drinks, dress... etc., all represents the nourishment for man's body and soul proceeding towards Allah. Man of course cannot do without these vital necessities. The one who takes from these necessities only according to his real need as commanded by Allah is saved and praised. But whoever takes more than necessary for himself falls into covetousness which will lead him into harm instead of benefit, and consequently divert him from the right path towards Allah and the Hereafter.

Likewise, taking less than required of the worldly benefits is harmful because the human body needs to satisfy certain basic needs, and that will increase its capability to worship Allah perfectly.

Umar Ibn Abdil Aziz said:

"The life of this world is not your permanent dwelling because Allah has decreed that it should perish and that all its dwellers should leave it. How many a populated area that will soon come to ruins, and how many a happy resident who will soon leave his residence. You should; therefore, leave this world in the best way you can, and the best of provisions is piety. Since the life of this world is neither a home nor an abode for the believer, he should be in it, either a stranger whose objective is to take the required provisions and return home, or a traveler who is residing nowhere and who is proceeding day and night to reach a country of residence."

A poet said:

"Man should take the minimum possible of the worldly pleasures because he is leaving for a fixed appointment; turn his eyes away from this life and its ornaments, make all the efforts to keep away from its lusts, because it is a place of temporary pleasures and trials, and all the people in it will perish."

It is not possible for a Muslim to give precedence to entertainment over responsibility. Those who do not believe in reward in the afterlife may try to cash whatever they can in this world. But a Muslim knows that the rewards of the afterlife are far greater. To him it is like taking $100 now or $1,000,000 after a month. The cash is not equal to the credit. So he/she prefers credit over cash.

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Not just public personalities, even ordinary people are within the purview of image experts. Jo Anna Nicholson, author of five self-help books, including Dressing Smart for Men and Dressing Smart for Women has made a fortune out of telling others how to dress and act so that they make an "instant impression" on prospective employers and spouses. Her books include chapters on "Looking As If You Don't Have a Clue", "How to Look Accidentally Good" and "Looking Promotable."

Popular magazines and websites abound with pseudo-psychoanalytical articles on what one's clothes, hair, jewellery or accessories are saying about a person, and how people can carefully tailor their appearance to create maximum impact.

Contrast this with the attitude of the early Muslims. When the Muslims opened Jerusalem, the Christians refused to give the city's keys to anyone except the Caliph. So 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, set off from Madeenah to Jerusalem. His entourage? One attendant and a mule, which they took turns to ride. It happened to be the attendant's turn to ride on the day they were to reach Jerusalem. The attendant volunteered to give up his turn because it would look "awkward in the eyes of the people" if he rode and the Chief of the Believers walked. 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, refused, saying:

"Yakfeenaa sharaful Islaam – the honour of Islaam is enough for us."

On the way, while walking across a muddy area, 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, took off his footwear, put it under his arm and raised his clothes so they wouldn't get muddy. When Abu Ubaydah, may Allaah be pleased with him, who was one of the commanders waiting for him saw this, he ran to 'Umar asking him to ride his horse while entering the city. He said they were in a land where the quality of clothes reflected the rank of people.

'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, replied:

"I wish someone other than you had said that. Have you forgotten that we were a lowly people and it was Islaam that made us honourable? If we seek honour from anything other than Islaam, Allaah will return us to that state of lowliness."

Today this is the case. For proof, one only has to look around: Muslims are being humiliated, subjugated and oppressed by the very system and people whose ways they seek to emulate, in preference to the Sunnah of their Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, and the example of those whom Allaah was pleased with.

It's true, cultivating "coolness" may have more immediate pay-offs than cultivating sincerity. Wearing the latest brands and hanging out at the most-happening places is the ticket to gaining entry into the 'with-it' crowd – the people with the wittiest repartees, trendiest hairstyles and clothes, fanciest cars and gizmos— who spend a considerable amount of time and energy trying to stay abreast of the latest trends. As opposed to this 'magic circle', seen from the outside, the company of sincere people seems unglamorous, even boring.

But scratch deeper, and the truth surfaces.

People who try to fit in with a superficial world that subscribes to ever-changing fads, soon discover that the hollowness of their world finds an echo deep within. A deep-seated dissatisfaction with oneself takes a person to stylists and therapists, but make-up and makeovers can't change one's personality. They merely reinforce the belief that a person is incapable of being appreciated for themselves, they must use other people's advice instead of their own judgment to be successful, they must adopt someone else's idea of beauty to be acceptable in the eyes of others.

How cool is that?

On the other hand, people who set out on the straight and narrow, choosing substance over style, seeking to please Allaah as opposed to pleasing people, may not find their popularity ratings soar—quite the opposite, in fact.

Yet, they get strength in the certainty of their belief, that their reward is with Allaah in the Hereafter.

 

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Shaykh Bakr Aboo Zayd (rahimahullaah) writes in his book "The Etiquettes of Seeking Knowledge", page 147:

Our Shaykh Muhammad Al-Ameen ash-Shinqeetee who died on 17/12/1393H (rahimahullaah) took very little from this worldly life, and I used to see him and he could not differentiate between the values of different [notes within the same] currency, and he once said to me:

 

لقد جئت الى البلاد - شنقيط - ومعي كنز قل أن يوجد عند أحد, وهو القناعة

ولو أردت المناصب لعرفت الطريق إليها ولكني لا اوثر الدنيا على الاخرة ولا ابذل العلم لنيل المآرب الدنيوية 

"I came from my country (Shinqeet [Mauritania]) and with me is a treasure that is very seldom found in the possession of anyone, and it is contentment, and if I wanted high status, I would have known the way to achieve it, but I chose not to exchange this worldly life for the hereafter, and I do not give my knowledge to attain worldly desires."

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-'Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah) commented on this and said:

"This is the words from Shaykh Shanqeetee (may Allaah have mercy upon him) resembling people of knowledge, they do not desire by that to give themselves credit but they want by it to benefit the creation, and the people to emulate them, and be upon this path. Because we know them, they were not looking for accrediting themselves rather they are the furthest people from that.

And he, may Allaah have mercy on him, was as Shaykh Bakr mentioned, from the Zuhhaad. If you saw him he would not say except that he was a man from the desert. Even the cloak, you find he wore a normal cloak it had no embroidery. Also you find he was not concerned about himself or his thawb being smart and neat, may Allaah have mercy on him."

Source: Explanation by Shaykh Al-Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah) of Hilyat Talib al-'Ilm (The Etiquettes of Seeking Knowledge) by al-Shaykh Baker Abu Zaid (rahimahullaah).

 

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The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: “Do not hate one another, do not envy one another and do not turn your backs on one other. But O’ slaves of Allah, be brothers!” (Saheeh Al-Bukhaari)

Abu Hatim:

The intelligent one must avoid envy in every circumstance, for indeed the least of jealousy is being displeased with the Decree and wishing for the opposite of what Allah the Most High has decreed for His slaves, and thereafter the heart being wrapped in wanting to see the blessing removed from the Muslim. The soul of the envier never finds rest and his body never finds relaxation unless he sees the blessing removed from his brother. But how impossible is that! How impossible that the Decree should aid the envier and what is in his inner self.

Muhammad ibn Ishaq recited the poem:

‘Excuse your envier over the blessing you’ve been singled out for

Indeed loftiness is fine, but with it comes envy

If they envy me, then I blame them not

Before me were people of virtue who did envy (others)

What is with me remains and what’s with them remains

And most of us have died in rage at the present

I am the one who’ve they’ve found (envy for) in their hearts

I don’t raise myself over them, nor do I wish to do so.’

‘Amr ibn Maymun said,

“Musa once saw a man near the Throne (of Allah) and so he had some ghibt (good jealousy) of his place and position. So he asked about him and he said, ‘Shall I inform you of his deeds? He never used to envy the people for what Allah has given them of His Bounty, and he was not disobedient to his parents.’ He said, ‘And how can he disobey his parents?’ He said, ‘A person curses for their sake until they are cursed by others. And he (the man) did not spread slander.”

’Umar ibn al-Khattab:

“None is endowed with a blessing from Allah, except that you’ll find someone envying him for it. And even if a person were to be more upright than an arrow, you shall still find someone criticising him. And a word brings no harm if there is no-one entertaining it.”

Ibn Sirin:

“I have never been jealous of anyone over something worldly, because if he is from the people of Paradise, how can I envy him for a worldly thing when he is on his way to Paradise? And if he is from the people of Hell, then how can I envy him for a worldly thing when he is on his way to Hell?”

Abu Hatim:

Jealousy is from the characteristics of the lowly ones, and abandoning it is from the actions of the virtuous ones. Every flame can be put out, but the flame of jealousy cannot be put out. Jealousy breeds rancour & hatred and that is the origin of evil. Whoever conceals evil in his heart, it will plant a bitter fruit, its growth will result in anger and its fruits will be regret. Hasad (jealousy/envy) is the name given when a person wishes to see the blessing removed from others and instead comes to him. As for the one who sees goodness in his brother and wants to attain the same without wishing for its removal from his brother, then this is not hasad that is blameworthy and prohibited.

Abu Ja’far once said to Mu’awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan, “How quickly the people come to see you upon your arrival to Madinah!” So the leader of the faithful (Mu’awiyah) said:

‘Indeed, the noble man faces many an envier

But you will not find any to envy the lowly ones.’

Muhammad ibn Husayn recited,

‘They were jealous of the blessing when it appeared

So they cast it with statements of falsehood and lies

But when Allah does reveal a blessing

The words of the envious can cause it no harm’

Abu Hatim:

There is no safety from the haasid (jealous) except keeping distant from him, and this is because the more he keeps looking to what you have been given over him, the more it increases him in gloom and envy, and having a bad opinion of Allah. Indeed, the envier does not envy you because you are evil or because of any betrayal on your part, rather he envies you because he’s gone against being pleased with the Decree.

It is as al-‘Utbi said,

‘I keep thinking of how I may have wronged you, but I cannot see

Any wrongdoing on my part, rather you’ve proved jealous’

And al-Abrash recited:

‘The jealous has nothing except what he’s jealous of

And for him is resentment from all people

I see seclusion to be better for a youth

Than sitting with bad company; so get up if he sits.’

Humayd: “I said to al-Hasan, ‘O’ Aba Sa’id! Does the believer envy?’ He said,

‘What has made you forget the sons of Ya’qub when they envied Yusuf? Rather hide the envy in your chest, for it will not harm you so long as it doesn’t pass your tongue and your hands do not carry it out.”

Abu Hatim:

"For a person, the worst of garments is Al-Hasad (envy) because it breeds grief and sadness and it is an illness which has no cure. The envier is likely to encounter misfortune, have you not seen Iblis? He envied Adam so his envy caused him misfortune until he became accursed after having been well-established. It is easy for a person to please every angry one in this world except the envier, for indeed he cannot be pleased until the blessing which he envies is removed (from a person)."

Some wise men used to say,

“There are 4 types of people most prone to depression: The short-tempered man, the one consumed by envy, the one who mixes with eloquent men learned in literature but he himself is not eloquent or learned, and the wise man who is belittled and humiliated by his people…”

 

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In an age where people’s lives are so transparent for many to view via social networking sites, often “stalking” can lead to envy as we compare our lives to the lives of others. So as we gaze at the photographs of our friends’ weddings, holidays, newborns, spouses or homes, envy maybe nurtured within us. If we hear news of someone doing well in their exams, or gaining a job promotion, envy may grow within us. Envy may perhaps initially be indiscernible within our hearts. But on closer inspection we realise we wish we had what they enjoy and we would feel pleasure at the thought of them losing that blessing. And because these are just feelings which we harbor, and not actions which we commit, we consider envy to be harmless and benign. Yet envy is the root to so many other evils. It is the root to backbiting, scorning, hurting others feelings and possibly even breaking friendships and relationships.

Narrated Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said: “Indeed envy eats up good deeds just as fire consumes wood.” [Ahmad]

On the one hand you may be a veritable factory of good deeds. You may be earning heavy rewards equitable to the mountains and with sincerity equivalent to the oceans in depth. You may be reading lots of Quran and praying Salaah. You may have fasted in the month of Ramadaan. You may be working for your local community voluntarily, keeping ties with your relations. Yet on the other hand, because you envy others for the blessings bestowed upon them by Allah (subhana wa ta'aalla), you may come to find on the day of judgment that your good deeds have been burnt to ashes. And as fire quickly consumes and burns wood, the envy you harbour will also quickly burn and consume your good deeds.

"And those whose scales (of good deeds) are light, they are those who lose their ownselves, in Hell will they abide. The Fire will burn their faces, and therein they will grin, with displaced lips (disfigured)." (Surah [23]: 103-4)

These people will enter the hellfire not because their scale of good deeds will be empty. They will be in the hellfire because their scale of good deeds was not heavy enough. If we do not recognise and combat the feeling of envy in our hearts, we may be end up with the same fate: a light scale of good deeds and residence in the hellfire. So what can we do to combat this?

Tips to combat envying others:

1. Start to LOVE for others what you love for yourself and TREAT others as you would like to be treated yourself

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "I swear by the One in whose Hands is my soul! None of you will believe until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." (Bukhaari & Muslim)

None of us truly can claim to believe until we love for others what we love for ourselves. So even if we don’t have that beautiful home, that lucrative business, that successful career, that degree from a prestigious institution, that spouse or those children, because we would love this for ourselves, we wish for others to enjoy these blessings too. Why? Because this feeling of loving for others what we love for ourselves, identifies, depicts and brands us as a believer. And it is this feeling, which differentiates those who consider themselves to be believers from those who in actuality are believers. Once fostered within, it is hard to envy those whose happiness becomes your happiness.

Abdullah ibn Umar ibn Al-‘Aas (radiAllaahu 'anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said,

“Whoever would love to be saved from the Fire and entered into Paradise, then let him die with faith in Allah and the Last Day, and let him TREAT the PEOPLE the WAY he would LOVE to be TREATED.” [Musnad Ahmad, Number 6768, Sahih]

If we really wish to be saved from the Fire then we should not envy others for the blessings bestowed upon them just as we would wish for others not to envy us.

2. Make Du'a for others to get what YOU want for yourself

Imagine if we found out the Imaam of Masjid al-Haram in Makkah right now made a specific Du'a for us, would we not be genuinely pleased with this? If you pray for another Muslim, Allah (subhana wa ta aalla) will bless you with something even better, the Du'a of an angel for you to have the same. So when you see others with something that you would wish to have make Du'a for Allah Almighty to bless them with more and Allah Almighty will bless you with more.

Abu ad-Darda narrated that The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The Du'a of a Muslim for his brother (in Islaam) in his absence is responded to. There is an angel in front of him that has been assigned to him. Every time he makes a du'a for his brother with good, the angel assigned to him says, “Amin! And to you the same”.” [Sahih Muslim]

A friend of mine whenever she had a need for herself she would make Du'a for her friends who needed the same and she would often be granted it too, at times even before the person she even made Du'a for. So if you see someone who has that which you wish for rather than envying them, make Du'a for them to be blessed with this and with more and Allah Willing, Allah will appoint an angel to pray for you to have this too.

3. Understand the REAL value of what you are envying others for

What you may be envying others for regarding their worldly matters may be of no benefit to you in your afterlife and may be insignificant in the eyes of Allah Almighty. Having that person’s bigger house, nicer car, better paid job, four kids and beautiful spouse may not get you Jannah and may make it easier for you to enter the hellfire. So why wish to have them?

“Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one's] hope.” (Surah [18]: 46)

Put things in perspective. Understand you may have in your life what is best for you. They may have in their life what is best for them. Having someone else’s life may not make you happy in this world or the next.

 

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The new Westfield mega mall recently opened in East London, amid much media hype and celebrity endorsement. A shiny futuristic maze of shops and boutiques, complete with restaurants and even hotels, all designed so that the visitor can immerse themselves within the cosy consumer bubble that is Westfield.

What is clear to anyone observing the mall, is the number of Muslims constantly entering and exiting, shopping bags in hand. In fact, for a large percentage of east London’s young Muslim population, this is the prime location not only for shopping but for leisure and relaxation. It even has a prayer room. But what do we know about Westfield? Do we ever think about where our money is going? We are probably all aware that big corporations are hard to avoid, and we may rationalise our buying from them, with many excuses such as price, availability and convenience, and in fact we may even balance our sense of discomfort by giving to charities, buying 'eco friendly' and avoiding known boycotted brands. We excuse ourselves, rightly or wrongly, from turning a blind eye to child labour, oppressive conditions, and sweatshops, arguing ignorance and lack of alternatives. We may even argue that our money is bound to end up in the wrong hands eventually, and it is futile to try and stop it.

There may be some truth in the fact that we do not always know where our money goes, and it may possibly end up funding wars and oppression indirectly, even if we shop carefully. However, Allah SWT in His infinite mercy does not hold us accountable for that which we do not know. With Westfield, however, we have no such excuse.

The founder of Westfield Group, Frank Lowy, does not disguise the fact that he is a retired Israeli commando, having fought against the people of Palestine during the 1948 war, nor does he hide his close friendships with high profile politicians including former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert. He gives millions to the rogue state of Israel, a state which is illegal according to international law. Furthermore, he established an independent think tank focusing on Israeli and US security and foreign policy whose research is consistently Islamaphobic and imperialistic, and far from hiding his involvement in the project, he named it "The Lowy Institute".

It is clear, then, that we as Muslims cannot simply blame our compulsive consumerism on lack of knowledge, because it is freely available. Nor can we just turn a blind eye to these facts. Simply put, by shopping, eating and spending in Westfield, we are directly funding the murder of Muslims in Palestine. Our money also contributes to the destructive, barbaric and inhumane policies put forth by US and Israeli Governments in conjunction with the Lowy Institute. Every pound spent in Westfield, leads to misery on the West Bank.

We must ask ourselves honestly, where do our priorities lie? Are they with consuming, owning and spending, regardless of the consequence? Or are they with the ummah? Undoubtedly, when confronted with our obligation to deprive ourselves of luxuries and comforts, it is a difficult truth to face. It would be more convenient to forget, indeed that is what Westfield is there for, to encourage us to seek solace in material goods, and forget ourselves in designer labels. However this is contradictory to Islamic teachings. As Muslims we are fortunate to know that true satisfaction can only be gained through submitting to the will of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala), and the Sunnah of our Prophet (Sal Allahu Alayhi Wassalaam) has provided us with a comprehensive and fulfilling way of life. Westfield is completely built upon the capitalist philosophy at odds with Islam, a philosophy of consumption and instant gratification. According to this framework, we should adopt objects and ownership as our spiritual goals. We must work harder, in order to buy more things. In fact, if we took this as a model for our lives, we would literally shop ‘till we dropped!

A Muslim is a brother to another Muslim. The Prophet (Sal Allahu Alayhi Wassalaam) told us that “The relationship of the believer towards the people of faith is like that of the head to the body. The believer feels the pain of the people of faith just as the body feels the pain of the head.” We as an ummah need to fight collectively against our urge to dull the pain we feel at the plight of our brothers and sisters, by buying, shopping and consuming, because in reality we are only perpetuating our own destruction.

Ibn al-Qayyim spoke about the obligation of helping our brothers and sisters in his book, AlFawaa'id:

"There are different ways of supporting a fellow believer: with one’s wealth, with one’s position of authority or power, by means of physical service, by offering sincere advice and guidance, by making supplication (du’aa’) and asking for forgiveness for them, and by feeling their pain.."

We can all make dua, even if we may not be able to provide power or authority. But by continuing to shop in Westfield, not only do we avoid and shy away from feeling the pain of our brothers, and not only do we fail to support them with our wealth, but in fact we actually increase and exacerbate their difficulties. Just as we would not take our own money and purchase the weapons by which our family would be killed, just as we would hate to contribute towards the death of our own mother, sister, brother; So we have a duty, at the very least, to prevent our money from funding the death and destruction of our brothers and their countries, our countries. We, as Muslims, cannot simply pick and choose our morals and principles to suit our mood, and then proceed to shout in outrage when those morals we have deemed applicable to uphold, are violated.

We must no longer be our own worst enemy.

 

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Showing generosity to visitors and guests has always been a virtuous act in the previous nations, one that has deservedly attracted respect and good-standing within the community. But what about within Islam?

This tradition is called Karam in Arabic and can be translated as ‘honouring the guest, being generous and noble to him’. In fact, it is no surprise that the many different variations found of the root verb ka-ra-ma all imply excellence and other praiseworthy characteristics.

Al-Kareem is one of the Beautiful Names of Allah: 

“…your Lord, the Generous (al-Kareem).” (al-Infitaar, 6)

“Recite, and your Lord is the most Generous (al-Akram).” (al-’Alaq, 3)

It is the description of the Blessed Angels:

“And indeed over you are keepers. Noble (kiraaman) and recording.” (al-Infitaar, 10-11)

“Indeed, it is a word [conveyed by] a Noble (kareem) Messenger.” (al-Takweer, 19)

It increases the magnificence of that which is already exalted:

“Indeed it is a Noble (kareem) Qur’aan.” (al-Waaqi’ah, 77)

“Thus exalted is Allah, the Sovereign, the Truth; there is nothing worthy of worship except Him, Lord of the Noble (kareem) Throne.” (al-Mu’minoon, 116)

It is used many times for the best of qualities within the Messengers and special chosen servants of All?h:

“They will be in gardens, honoured (mukramoon).” (al-Ma’aarij, 35)

“And those who do not testify to falsehood, and when they pass near ill speech, they pass by with dignity (kiraaman).” (al-Furqaan, 72)

“Rather they are honoured (mukraman) servants.” (al-Anbiyaa’, 26)

“…and there came to them a Noble (kareem) Messenger [Moosaa].” (al-Dukhaan, 17)

“Has there reached you the story of the honoured (mukramoon) guests of Ibraaheem?” (al-Dhaariyaat, 24)

It comes as no surprise therefore that Islaam places an incredible emphasis on karam, even though one senses a lack of concern amongst the Muslims to this very central part of Islamic conduct and behaviour in society.

It is clear from the very beginning of the Prophethood how important the honouring of the guests has been. It was a well known custom of the Arabs during their Jaahiliyyah period, to be the most generous and noble to their visitors, whoever they might have been.

We see in the famous hadeeth narrated by Imaam al-Bukhaari (rahimahullah) when the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), distressed after receiving revelation in the cave of Hira’ informed Khadijah (radhy Allahu ‘anha) of it, fearing that something might happen to him. Khadijah said,

“No by Allah! Allah will never disgrace you! You maintain the ties of kinship, help the poor and needy, serve your guests generously and assist those deserving ones after calamity.”

And how true was the statement of the blessed Mother of the Believers! Allah ‘azza wa jall will never disgrace the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) but rather increases his status day by day as more and more people bear witness to his perfection. Notice also that to honour the guests with generosity and nobility has been made a key reason for the absence of disgracing the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam).

In fact, to show karam to the guest is an obligation upon every Muslim as indicated by the hadeeth narrated by Imaam al-Bukhaari and Imaam Muslim that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Whosoever believes in Allah and the Final Day should entertain his guest generously – his deserving reward: a day and a night (of the best). To entertain the guest (properly) is for three days, anything offered over that is to be counted as charity. And it is not permissible for the guest to stay so long as to make matters difficult and embarrassing (for the host).”

One can see the stress and emphasis of honouring the guest by the way the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) linked this act of worship to belief in Allah and the Final Day. This shows it is mandatory. The first day and night of the guest necessitates a very high quality reception, with the most excellent of food and service. The second and third day is of a more normal kind. Not only that, but the fact that if any further time offered to the guest over three days is sadaqah, then this clearly shows that what must be less than that is from the waajibaat.

Some Hadeeth concerning Karam

There are many narrations concerning the importance of the right of the guest and the etiquettes to be shown by the host. Imaam al-Bukhaari (rahimahullah) entitled his chapters in light of this: “The right of the guest”, “Honouring the guest and serving him with one’s own hands”, “To prepare the meal and to trouble oneself for the guest”, “What is disliked as regard anger and impatience before a guest” and so on.

‘Uqbah b. ‘Aamir (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) narrated in Saheeh al-Bukhaari: We said, “O Messenger of Allah, you have sent us out, and we are to stay with a people who do not host and entertain us, so what do you think about that?” The Messenger of Allah replied, “If you stay with a people and they entertain you properly as they should, then accept it. If they don’t do that, then take from them the right of the guest, which they must give.”

Abu Hurayrah (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) narrates that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Any guest that comes upon a people and he is deprived (of hospitality), then he can take from them the amount of his (deserved) meal, and there is no blame upon him.”

The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to Abdullah b. ‘Amr (radhy Allahu ‘anhum), “Verily, your guest has an obligatory right upon you.”

Abu Kareemah (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) narrates that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The night for the guest is an obligatory right upon every Muslim. So if he comes to the courtyard, there is a debt upon the host, (the guest) if he wills may take it or leave it.”

Al-Talib (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “To entertain the guest for three days is his binding obligatory right (haqqun laazim); anything over that is charity.”

Therefore the ruling upon entertaining the guest is an obligation for three days. This was mentioned by Imaam Ahmad (rahimahullah) and a group of the scholars. One can be considered a sinner for not performing this right for your brother. Imaam ibn Hazm (rahimahullah) said,

“To entertain the guest is an obligation upon the villager and the city dweller, upon the scholar and the ignorant; a day and night of excellence and then three days as his right to be hosted. If he does not receive his hospitality, then he is to take his right however he can and have his debt paid off as such.”

Subhaanallah, how amazing Islam is! What other system of life emphasises building the links of love and brotherhood between members of its society as the blessed Deen of Allah does! Where else can one find such compassion and generosity, not only to those whom you know, but to those whom are unknown as well! It is unfortunate to admit that the weak links amongst our brothers and sisters today, whether ‘practising’ or not, can be seen to stem directly from the lack of realisation about the importance of serving the Muslim community and especially so their guests.

Narrations from the Companions on Karam

Not surprisingly, the companions in particular would take this issue very seriously. Abu Bakr (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) became furious when his guests were not served properly by his son Abdur-Rahman (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) even though he was technically not to blame! Bukhari narrates that Abu Bakr (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) got so angry, he rebuked his son and invoked Allah to cut the ear of Abdur-Rahmaan! All that, simply because he thought that his guests had not received the proper attention deserving of them.

Honouring the guest is not restricted to the rich or those whom you know only. In fact, showing karam and generosity to those whom you don’t know, and the poor, is a higher form of ‘ibaadah which brings together many excellent virtues.

It is narrated that Abu Hurayrah (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) said,

“The best of the people to the poor was Ja’far b. Abi Taalib. We would go with him and he would feed us with whatever he had at his house.”

Abu Bakr b. Hafs (rahimahullah) narrated that Abdullah b. ‘Umar (radhy Allahu ‘anhum) would not eat except that an orphan would be by his side.

Narrated Hamza b. Suhayb (rahimahullah) that Suhayb b. Sinaan al-Roomi (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) used to feed people a great amount of food, so ‘Umar (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) said to him, “O Suhayb, you feed the people large amounts of food, this is extravagance with your wealth!” Suhayb (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) said, “Indeed the Messenger of Allah says, ‘The best of you are those who feed the people and return the greetings (salaam).' This is what makes me feed the people [a lot of food].”

It is clear to see from the biographies of the Salaf (the early blessed generations), that generosity was a key virtue in the character of the Muslim. Many Sahaabah in particular were famous for their acts of magnanimity such as Abu Bakr, Talhah, ‘Aa'ishah and many more (radhy Allahu ‘anhum ajma’een).

As the Poet said:

“I honour the riding beast of my guest before I honour him,

I will have not honoured him if I don’t honour his horse!“

i.e. that if you really want to show your generosity and be noble to your guest, then it is not just about feeding and housing him! The real karam will involve looking after all his affairs such as feeding the ride in the above poem, or to make a direct analogy in our times, looking after the car of the guest, having it cleaned, washed, serviced and ready for him. It might involve buying his on-going plane or rail ticket, organising his affairs, preparing clothes for him and all other things that will put your guest at ease, and make him feel special as he deserves to be.

Instances of this can still actually be seen here in the West although we still see – wal-hamdulillah – many examples existing of such exemplary behaviour in some of the Muslim lands, where even the extremely poor will put everything at your disposal even if it is their only food. Many people still fight for the right to host the guest so they can be honoured and rewarded themselves! How often has a traveller remembered afterwards the immense generosity displayed by locals in his time of need, and then supplicates for him, as instructed by the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he said, “When someone has been done a favour, and he says to his benefactor ‘Jazakallahu Khayran’ (May Allah reward with you goodness), then he has indeed excelled in praising him.“

The Story of the Guests of Sayyidina Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam)

For an understanding of the etiquettes required in correctly serving the guests, one needs to look no further than the beautiful story of Sayyidina Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam), the narrative which may be found in the Blessed Qur’aan. Allah ‘azza wa jall says:

“Has the story reached you of the honoured guests of Ibraaheem? They said, “Salaaman” (Peace be upon you). He answered: “Salaamun! (Peace be upon you!) You are a people unknown to me.” Then he turned to his family, and brought out a fat [roasted] calf, then placed it close to them, saying, “Will you not eat?”” (al-Dhaariyaat, 24-27)

The Mufassireen discussed this event in detail in their commentaries, deriving many useful lessons in the manners of treating the guest.

When the guests (Jibreel, Mikaa’eel and Israafeel according to Ibn Katheer) came upon Ibrahaam (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam), he did not recognise them at all, yet he still greeted them with a happy and welcoming demeanour. They said to him Salaaman yet he returned the greeting with a better and stronger one, Salaamun! (Nay, Peace be upon you!) The grammarians mentioned when comparing a statement said in marfoo’ (the nominative) state with one made in a state of nasb (i.e. accusative), the marfoo’ statement (in this case, Salaamun) is much stronger and eloquent. So Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) responded with the best of greetings as per the command of Allaah ‘azza wa jall when He says:

“And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet [in return] with one better than it or [at least] return it [in a like manner].” (al-Nisaa’, 86)

This would have instantly made his guests fill totally welcome and at ease, even though he didn’t know them.

After Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) had welcomed his guests and invited them inside as cheerfully and sincerely as possible, Allaah says, “Fa raagha…” i.e. he turned away very quickly and discreetly towards his family. It is clear from the use of this word in the Arabic language that Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) did not waste any time to hurry and prepare the food for his guests.

It is common to see when one goes to a house as a guest, that the host may ask whether they require food. This is immensely bad manners for it puts the guest in an awkward position, for how can the guest possibly be expected to say, “Yes! Bring me food!” In fact, it is often the sign of a miserly host who will ask such a question, because he often will have no intention whatsoever of wanting to entertain his guest, rather he wants to almost ‘hurry’ his guest and force him to want to leave! And if the host does go and get the food, he may take his time and make a big issue out of it, almost forcing the guest to think that a great effort has been expended for him, and that he is causing difficulties, again making him feel uncomfortable and uneasy.

How opposite this is to the example set by the Prophets! See how Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) hurries away without any fuss, expecting nothing less but that the guests will eat, being as quick as possible so as to not make the guests wait and feel hungry or uncomfortable. He did not wait to hear them request their rights, and nor did he remind them of any favours he was doing for them such as to say, “I am going off to prepare food for you now.”

Sayyidina Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) then went and chose the best possible food he could offer, a young and fat calf, roasted upon heated stones. Consider the swiftness of the host here, and even though there were only three guests, it is always better to have more food, for some food left over is better than to not have enough in terms of entertaining the visitor. It is well known that to place in front of the guest more than he can eat is from the higher ideals of karam. That is the real reward of the guest that he is owed as explained by the word ‘Jaaizatuhu‘ in the hadeeth found in Bukhaari i.e. the ‘premium reward’ the guest is entitled to on his first day with the host.

“And placed it close to them…” i.e. the food was not just placed in front of them, but close to them, minimising any effort from the guest. It is understood to be against the etiquettes of karam to set the food in another area or room and then to ask the guest to go there. Again, the example here is of sincerity and a real will by the host for the guest to be at total ease, to enjoy his stay, and receive his obligatory rights.

“…saying, “Will you not eat”?” i.e. being very easy and gentle with the guest, not using any forceful tactics to make the visitor feel uneasy. This form of karam is a skilful medium between being too insistent, and being miserly with the food.

It’s unfortunate that many Muslims, after having such clear examples of the lofty behaviour expected from the servants of Allah, still seem to be very loose with such obligations. This is also strange considering that many of the people of knowledge considered the reward of the host is likened to the one who is fasting.

In fact, many Muslims are often unaware that they are unintentionally being bad hosts in front of their guests. Karam is not something which is necessarily rote memorised; rather it is something which is passed down via custom, and comes naturally to those who are sincere about their hospitality.

Small points are often magnified in such occasions, which is why we see Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) go to such measures that many might have seen as extreme. Ibn al-Jawzi (rahimahullah) considered it bad manners for there to be silence during the meal, rather there should be speech about good matters etc. This is well understood today, where prolonged bouts of silence during eating causes one to become uncomfortable, whereas if the host is happy and cheerful and encourages the right environment of relaxation and ease, as well as ensuring respect for the food and the other aspects of the Sunnah when beginning and ending the meal, one sees the fruit of his hospitality.

It is sad to see how often Muslims make empty promises to their friends, either in person, or by phone, and then when their guest turns up, eagerly looking forward to meeting again, he is faced with a miserable face and excuses. How damaging it is to the hearts when this happens especially without good excuse. Such people have to increase in their taqwa of Allah and protect themselves from falling into the worst of categories, i.e. those who break their promises, one of the signs of the Hypocrites, and those who are misers, which is the exact opposite of karam. Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullah) explained in his Majmoo’ how the Qur’aan and Sunnah were so opposed to the characteristics of miserliness etc, and how it was seen amongst the Salaf as one of the worst diseases of the heart.

In these materialistic times, where everyone is obsessed only with themselves, we need to turn back to the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and protect our communities from the evil diseases of the society we live in. Reviving every small detail of our tradition is the only way to success and strength, and we should make our concern for our brothers and sisters of this Ummah a priority likewise.

_________________________

References

 

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One of the biggest enemies of productivity in our world today is the comfortable consumerism culture that we’re living in.

Everything is within reach and we’re constantly looking for the latest, quickest, or smallest! Each of us (except whom Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) had mercy upon) is literally ‘killing’ themselves running after acquiring more and more of today’s world and what’s sad about this is that we, as Muslims, should know better.

History seems to repeat itself, for the Muslim Ummah did indulge in such consumerism more than 1,000 years ago, during the Golden Age of the Islamic civilisation. The success of the expanding empire brought new riches unknown to the early Muslims which started corrupting the Muslims and making them forget their true purpose. True to the words of the Prophet (Peace be upon him), this consumerism destroyed us. In a hadeeth, the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said:

"By Allah, it is not the poverty about which I fear in regard to you but I am afraid in your case that (the worldly) riches may be given to you as were given to those who had gone before you and you begin to vie with one another for them as they vied for them. And these may destroy you as these destroyed them.” (Sahih Muslim, Book #042, Hadith #7065).

Fighting Consumerism

So what’s the problem with consumerism? And what’s the cure? This is what we’ll try to tackle in this article insha’Allah.

At first glance, nothing seems to be wrong with consumerism, in fact the objective seems noble and peaceful: it’s about living a comfortable and happy life and enjoying this world to the fullest. Nothing sinister, right? Well, not really. If you start thinking of our lives in terms of dunya AND Akhira, you start to realise that this consumerism culture is actually a distraction us from our true purpose in life, of worshipping Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) and being His true vicegerent on Earth.

Let me give you an example: Imagine a student who’s supposed to start his University degree this year, he’s so concerned about ‘comfort’ that he asks for a special couch in the lecture hall, 3D HDTV screen to watch his favourite show whilst the lecture is going on, and of course popcorn and a packet of chips, and he doesn’t want to take exams nor do any assignments. Who thinks this student would survive university life? Or would even get a degree?! Sounds bizarre, right? But that’s exactly what we’re doing, instead of us working for our Akhira, we’re so concerned about the comforts of this life and how we can make our lives just that bit extra comfortable and easier, that we’re trading our finite world with the infinite Akhira! There’s nothing wrong in being comfortable; but when this becomes our sole objective, that’s when it becomes a problem!

Another issue with consumerism culture is that it literally entraps and enslaves people so they think of nothing else but how to ‘get more and have more’. People get into debt to buy bigger houses, get into more debt to buy a better car, few years down the line, once they’ve paid their debts, they go through the whole cycle again and get into more debt. We always want the latest, biggest, smallest, newest, and as the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

"Nothing fills (satisfies) the son of Adam except Dust”. (Sahih Bukhari, Book #76, Hadith #445)

i.e. A person will never be satisfied till he meets death. The cash-less credit card society is teaching us to buy now and worry about paying later. It is directly feeding us into a 25-50 year slavery to financial institutions and banks; on most accounts, this was one of the reasons behind the recent severe global financial crisis.

A third grave consequence of the consumerism lifestyle – and this one has truly affected the Muslims – is that we’ve become lazy, expecting “others” to produce whilst we consume. We do not grow what we eat, we do not make what we wear, we do not produce what we ride, everything is imported from planes to biscuits! And everything is at our convenience. But there’s a problem here: we become dependants on “others” for our survival, and hence have a weak economic status in the international sphere. How do you think China, India and Brazil started to get noticed by the ‘Developed World’? They became producing/exporting countries and unless we as Muslims really get our act together and export more than we import, I’m afraid the consequences would be severe for the Ummah.

An Anti-dote: Zuhd

So how do we get out of this? Al-hamdulillah, we’ve a very powerful Islamic concept that would work as an anti-dote to consumerism culture. This is known as ‘Zuhd’ (known in English as Asceticism). Unfortunately, this concept has been grossly misunderstood and misinterpreted by many Muslims to mean complete refusal of dunya, hiding in a corner, and living a miserable, harsh and sad life.

Far from this, Zuhd according to the Sunnah of the Prophet (Peace be upon him) and the understanding of the Companions (May Allah be pleased with them) has a very simple but powerful meaning: it means to hold dunya in your hand, but not letting it into your heart. What this means is that you should work for dunya, but never let that take over your life that you forget the Akhira. You should build this dunya but when you’re asked to sacrifice some of it for Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) and His Messenger (Peace be upon him), you can easily do it, because the dunya is in your hands and not your heart.

If we look at the life of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) and His companions, we’d find many examples of such understanding of ‘Zuhd’. Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) once said:

"The worldly comforts are not for me. I am like a traveller, who takes a rest under a tree in the shade and then goes on his way.” (Tirmidhi).

The companions of the Prophet (Peace be upon him) even feared the worldly pleasures. One example being that a meal was brought to ‘Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Auf once when he was fasting. He said:

"Mus'ab bin ‘Umayr was martyred and he was better than I and was shrouded in his Burd and when his head was covered with it, his legs became bare, and when his legs were covered his head got uncovered. Hamza was martyred and was better than I. Now the worldly wealth has been bestowed upon us (or said a similar thing). No doubt, I fear that the rewards of my deeds might have been given earlier in this world.” Then he started weeping and left his food. (Sahih Bukhari, Book #23, Hadith #365).

I want to emphasize at this point, that I’m not against people improving their livelihood in this world and enjoying the blessings of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala). Some of the Companions (May Allab be pleased with them) of the Prophet (Peace be uponhim) had thriving businesses, ate good food, and built nice homes, but once the call to sacrifice for Islam came, they threw all that away and ran for the Akhira.

Work and Sacrifice were the building blocks of the Islamic civilisation, not the palaces, art, and consumerism lifestyle. Those who came after the first 3 generations of Islam forgot these 2 ingredients and the Muslim civilisation declined.

After all that, don’t worry – there’s still hope!

We can still pick up the tools that were left by our ancestors, the tools of hard work and sacrifice, and rebuild our Ummah bi’ithnillah. Equipped with these, we can push dunya from our hearts and into our hands. Individually and collectively we can rebuild a new beginning for the Muslim Ummah – one that fights consumerism, encourages production, and gives back to the world more than it consumes.

Some Practical Tips

I leave you with 3 tips to help you take action today:

Adopt a Minimalistic lifestyle:

Build your life around what you ‘need’, rather than what you ‘want’. Be like the traveller as the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said in the hadeeth and live simply. Donate or throw away what you don’t need, and only keep those items that are essential to your day to day life. Believe me, you’ll feel so much ‘lighter’ as a consequence.

Invest more, consume less:

Try your best to always invest more of your resources (time, money, strength) and consume less. Invest your time in learning, helping others, volunteering, and worshipping. Invest your money in charity, new or existing businesses, helping Muslim charities and non-profit organisations. Invest your strength in working for Allah (Subhanhu Wa Ta’ala), helping the poor and needy and supporting those around you in whatever physical means possible.

Spread the simplicity message:

Encourage your family and friends to live a simple life rather than a material based one. It was said that simplicity is a part of faith and therefore try to spread the message about how we can fight our consumerism culture and what actions we can take from the Qur’an and Sunnah today to achive this. With sincere intentions and hard work, it can be done!

I hope this article has inspired you to take a look into your life differently, and inspired you look at dunya as a door to Akhira and not a door to limited comfortable life.

 

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Hasad is a desire that a blessing or a cause of happiness departs from its possessor and becomes transferred to oneself. Hasad is cancerous in its effect and leads to hatred, animosity, ill-feelings and often further disobedience towards Allah. It is condemned in many ahaadeeth. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihe wassallam) said,

‘Envy eats away good deeds like fire eats away wood.’ (Abu Daud and al-Tirmidhi).

Some of the causes of hasad are as follows:

1. Enmity and hatred: This is the one of the severest cases of envy because when a person has hatred and enmity in his heart for someone animosity begins to settle in his heart. This animosity needs to be treated and causes the person to desire revenge. If he is unable to get some sort of revenge, this animosity turns into envy: the person yearns for his enemy to lose any blessings that he has.

2. Low Self-Esteem: This type of envy originates whenever someone else is blessed with goodness the person feels inferior and this inferiority leads him to desire the blessings be removed from the other person.

3. Pride and Arrogance: This is when a person sees another succeeding beyond him and considers this person unworthy of this blessing. He is proud, thinks himself better and more deserving and wishes that the blessings be removed from his possession.

4. Astonishment: This is when people are amazed and astonished that others are distinguished from them, and question how someone like that can receive a blessing that they themselves do not have.

5. Fear of losing one’s own aims: This usually is in the case when a number of people seek a common goal. In such a situation each party is envious of the other when the other party is blessed with something that helps to achieve their common goal. If rival gains something for the common purpose, then one get jealous as they see this as compromising their own goal.

6. Love of leadership and status: The person who is very talented in his field, who is accustomed to praise, compliments and flattery will find it difficult not to envy one who is also up-and-coming in his field. As such, he will be saddened to hear of him being praised or esteemed and will wish that this blessing be removed from him. His love of recognition and a fear of losing this is for him a sufficient reason for and cause of envy.

7. Impurity of the soul: An impure soul rejoices at the calamities of others and regrets their blessings. This person is miserly with regards to Allah’s provisions and blessings, and his attitude is one which implies that the bounty, on others, diminishes Allah’s provision for him; he forgets that Allah favors whom He wills, without measure and that others cannot limit that which is decreed by him already.

In reality when a person is envious of another, he is actually doubting the wisdom of Allah (swt) and questioning His decision. This is because, ultimately, it is Allah who decided what favors’ to bestow on which people.

“O you who envies the blessings I have

May Allah (swt) protect us from this evil and severe disease. Aameen.

 

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The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, “Whoever relieves his brother of a hardship from the hardships of this world, Allah shall relieve him of a hardship from the hardships of the Day of Judgement. And whoever makes things easy for a person in difficulty, Allah will ease for him in this world and the Next. And whoever conceals (the faults of) a Muslim, Allah will conceal him in this world and the Next. Allah is forever aiding a slave so long as he is in the aid of his brother.” [Sahih Muslim, al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and others]

Abu Hatim said,

It is a must upon all Muslims that they should advise each other and alleviate each other’s sorrows and difficulties, because whoever relieves his brother of a hardship from the hardships of this world, Allah will relieve him of a hardship from the hardships of the Day of Judgement. And whoever strives to help a person with regards to his concerns, but is not able to completely fulfill it himself, then he has not fallen short. The smallest thing (a person can do) in settling people’s needs is giving due praise/thanks, and friends are known in times of need just like a family is tested in times of poverty. This is because in times of ease everyone is a friend, but the worst of friends is he who deceives his brothers during times of difficulty and need (by not being there for him/her), just like the worst of cities is the one without security and fertile land…

Al-Karizi recited the poem:

Al-Hasan al-Basri said,

‘Helping and settling the needs of a Muslim brother is more beloved to me than I’tikaf (seclusion in the mosque) for 2 months.’

Al-Basami recited:

A beautiful example of a Muslim’s generosity

A man once came to Yahya ibn Talha ibn ‘Ubaydallah and said, ‘Give us something.’ He said, ‘O boy (speaking to the young man who worked with him), give him whatever you have.’ So he gave him 20,000 which he (the man) took and attempted to carry. But it was too heavy for him and so he sat down and began to weep. He (Yahya) said, ‘What’s making you cry? Perhaps you think it’s too little, so shall I increase it for you?’ He said,

‘No, by Allah I do not think it’s too little, but I am crying due to what the earth consumes of your generosity.’

Yahya then said to him, ‘What you have just said to us is greater than what we have given you.’

 

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The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "The talebearer will not enter Paradise." [Sahih Muslim]

A man came to Hasan al-Basri and said: "Such-and-such man talked about you in an unfavourable manner."

"When?"

"Today."

"Where?"

"At his home."

"What were you doing in his home?"

"I went there for a feast."

"What did you eat there?"

"Such-and-such delicious food. I ate from all eight different dishes."

"Fearless wretch! You have managed to digest eight different dishes, but you could not digest only these words. Get out of my sight!"

The unity of Muslims is destroyed by tale-bearing. If one has committed the sin of hearing someone being backbitten about they should not compound their sin by informing the victim (or others) of what they heard. Hearts are soured when a person's words against one are brought to their attention. Backbiting and tale-bearing are more deadly than venom for the harmony of hearts required for the Muslims to be able to love and take care of one another.

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7 ways to stop arguing and get along better with people

I buried my face in the pillow, stuffed cotton wool into my ears, even tried whistling, but it was no use; I could still hear it. The infernal arguing from the hotel bedroom next door contaminated my ears like relationship toxic waste. I couldn't take anymore; I needed sleep. I had to do something.

Choosing the first sensible option I could think of, I focused my mind in an attempt to pray for them. It's amazing how desperation stimulates belief in the supernatural. Then I decided at 1am to fling my Britishness aside and knock on their door.

Why do we argue and what the blazes is wrong with it anyway?

How arguing ruins relationships

If you were raised in an argumentative household, it may feel natural to argue a lot. Maybe you get a buzz from the excitement that arguing brings. But whatever the cause, chronic arguing brings problems - and not just for the neighbours.

Sure, most of us argue sometimes and it would be a boring world if we all saw things in exactly the same way. But destructive arguing can destroy valuable relationships.

The opposite of arguing isn't agreement in all things, it's knowing how to disagree and still maintain mutual respect and liking.

Here are seven tips to help you stop arguing.

1) You stop arguing!

Take responsibility. It takes two to argue. Instead of thinking: "Well, s/he started it!", look to yourself: "Okay, s/he are trying to argue but I am not going to."

If you deny fire oxygen, it won't burn. Instead, recognize areas where you can agree and focus on those.

People will feel more connected to you and willing to cooperate when you can make at least some 'agreement statements' such as:

"I can see why you would think that..." or: "I realize what you are saying..."

Ask questions and listen to the answers.

2) Stop arguing by binning the insults

The famous psychologist John Gottman discovered that the way a couple argue is a big predictor of whether they'll break up. If their tiffs contain criticism (rather than complaint) then the relationship is headed toward meltdown. Character assassination is a huge no-no when it comes to keeping friends and loved ones.

When you criticize, you over-generalize negatively about their whole identity. So if someone forgets to pick up some milk, "You are such a lazy slob!" would be a criticism because it attacks their whole character. "I'm upset you forget the milk!" is a reasonable complaint because it's specific. Avoid criticizing rather than complaining and remember to let people know when they make you happy, too. : )

3) Stop trying to convince people by arguing

You might be right, but arguing isn't a great way to convince people. Why? Because if they're defensive and angry, they'll be unable to hear you.

People are like radio transmitters when it comes to communication. They are either set to 'receive' or 'transmit'. Arguing is akin to all participants being stuck on 'transmit'.

This is known technically as 'a waste of time'.

Logic only penetrates when someone is calm enough to let it. Plus, people often care more about being seen to be right when they argue rather than actually being right.

So just try and state your case once and forget it. Strong emotion swamps the thinking part of the brain; trying to convince someone whilst you or they are angry or feeling insulted won't work.

4) Stop arguing about the past

How many of us talk about issues only relating to the past seven days? If we did this it would stop our discussions spiralling out of control.

If a woman and man are arguing about the fact she feels he ignored her at her In-Law's, then suddenly she brings up the time in 1984 when he was late to her friend's wedding, then he reminds her of the way she insulted him in front of the kids back in 1990, and so on, we have the equivalent of a minor border skirmish turning into an all-out nuclear war. Ouch!

Constantly going back to stuff someone 'did wrong' weeks, months, or years before is toxic. What's done is done. You will find arguments growing shorter because there will be less ammunition to fire at one another when you stop time travelling.

So agree to talk only about stuff that happened within the previous week - period.

5) Give yourself 30 minutes to calm down

Here's what happens: Two people are having a heated argument. One person goes into another room to 'cool off'. After ten minutes, they feel calmer. So they go back into the same space as the person they'd been arguing with - but what happens? Even though both parties felt calmer, suddenly they are back fighting again.

Feeling calmer and being calmer can be two different things. It takes 30 minutes or so to calm down physiologically after a row - so give it more time. And during the cool-off time, refrain from rehearsing in your head all the things you want to say to 'set them straight'. Instead, think cooling thoughts and remember times when you were getting along better with this person.

6) Stop taking it to heart

Argumentative people tend to take things personally, even when they certainly weren't intended that way. This leads to a breakdown in communication. If someone is very critical then either they have never learned a better way of communicating or they are so angry that they are over-generalizing out of control. Either way, it's their problem.

Practice taking time in your mind before you respond to people. Count to 10 and ask yourself, "How can I respond to this calmly, rising above it?" If you are too defensive, people eventually stop trying to communicate with you at all, because of the hassle.

The next tip surprises many people.

7) Keep a lid on it

Know when to button it, too. Contrary to popular thinking, being totally 'honest' by voicing every thought, always 'having everything out in the open', can be disastrous. Couples who have happily been together for decades have learned what not to talk about.

Learn to keep quiet about such things if you know someone gets upset when you criticize their mother or talk about how you passed your driving test at the first attempt and they didn't.

If you know where the minefield is, steer clear.

Here's something else to keep in mind: Research has shown that people who are able to apologize are more likely to be married and stay married than those who can never say, "Sorry."

And...keep your sense of humour. Knowing how to defuse arguments through humour is a great skill. If you can apologize and be humorously self-deprecating, so much the better.

So with all this in mind I crept, like some therapeutic ninja, out into the corridor and, mustering as much dignity as the hotel-issue dressing gown allowed, I hesitantly knocked on the rowing couple's door. After muffled mumbling, a large man, naked above the waist (it could have been worse), timidly opened said door.

"Hi," he said. "I'm so sorry, have we been keeping you awake?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, you have!"

"I promise we will stop arguing now," he assured me. "And all I can do is apologize on behalf of my wife. I really don't know what's got into her tonight!"

"So much for Tip #1!" I thought as I stumbled back to my room.

Some Prophetic Narrations of Muhammad (peace be upon him)

Once the Prophet (peace be upon him) was sitting with his Companions, and one person used insulting words against Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) causing him pain. But Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) remained silent. The person again used bitter words against Abu Bakr, and still Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) did not respond. The third time when this ignorant person hurt Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) with his tongue, Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) tried answering back.

At this point the Prophet (peace be upon him) got up. Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) asked him, "Are you displeased with me, O Messenger of Allah?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied,

"No, but (when you remained silent) an angel came down from the heaven responding to this man's talk. But the moment you started replying to that man, the angel went away and the devil sat down. And I cannot sit where the devil is sitting." (Abu Dawud B41#4878)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: 

"Whoever sought knowledge for the purpose of using it to compete with the learned or showing ability to be contentious with stupid people, or to draw people's attention to him, Allah will put him in hell."

(Authenticated by Al-Tirmidhī, through Ka'b Ibn Mālik)

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: ‏

"‏ أَنَا زَعِيمٌ بِبَيْتٍ فِي رَبَضِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْمِرَاءَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مُحِقًّا

وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي وَسَطِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْكَذِبَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مَازِحًا

وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي أَعْلَى الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ حَسَّنَ خُلُقَهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Narrated AbuUmamah:
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling even if he were in the right, a house in the middle of Paradise for a man who avoids lying even if he were joking, and a house in the upper part of Paradise for a man who made his character good.

(Hasan, Sunan Abi Dawud)

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Gossiping is spreading that which is supposed to be private and destroying the concealment of what others hate to have exposed.

A person must keep quiet about anything he sees or hears regarding the conditions of people except for that which if he relates it, it will be of benefit for a Muslim or will prevent a sin from occurring.

And he said:

"Anyone that has gossip (Nameemah) conveyed to him and it is said to him: "Such and such person said this about you." Then there are six things required from him:

1. He must not believe him because the one conveying the news is a gossiper (Nammaam) and the gossiper is a wicked person (Faasiq) so his reports are rejected.

2. He must forbid him from doing such, advise him and declare detestation towards his action.

3. He must hate his (gossiper's) action for the sake of Allaah for indeed his action is disliked in the sight of Allaah.

4. He must not have evil thoughts about the person who is said to have said such, based on Allaah's saying:

" اجتنبوا كثيرا من الظن Avoid much [negative] suspicion " (Soorah al Hujuraat : 12)

5. What has been related to you about someone should not cause you to spy or investigate further into the matter because Allaah says,

"ولا تجسسوا And do not spy on one another." ( Soorah al Hujuraat:12 )

6. He should not be over pleased with himself over what he forbade the gossiper. Thus he should not go to the one is supposed to have gossiped and report to the gossiper that which was conveyed to him by saying: "Such and such person told me this," for then he would become a gossiper himself and he would be committing that which he forbade another.

It has been reported that a man went to 'Umar bin Abd-il-'Azeez (رحمه الله تعالى) and said something to him about another person. So 'Umar said to him:

"If you wish we shall investigate your case. If you are lying then you are from those who fall under the ayah: " إن جاءكم فاسق بنبإ فتبينوا If a wicked person comes to you with news then verify it." (Soorah al Hujuraat: 6) and if you are telling the truth then you fall under the ayah: " هماز مشاء بنميم Backbiter going about spreading gossip." (Soorah al Qalam: 11) and if you wish we can overlook the matter."

So the man said: "Please overlook it, O Commander of the Believers, I will never mention it again!"

Source: From Imaam Aboo Zakariyya Yahya bin Sharaf an-Nawawee's "Al-Adhkaar" - Guarding the Tongue, Chapter "Concerning Gossip", p.32.

 

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A man once asked Imam Ahmad, ‘I sometimes find myself in a gathering where the Sunnah is mentioned, but no-one apart from me has more knowledge of it. Shall I speak up and say something?’

Imam Ahmad then said,

‘State what the Sunnah is, but do not argue over it.’

The man then repeated his statement and so Imam Ahmad said, ‘I only see you to be an argumentative man!’

And this is what Malik (rahimahullah) meant in his saying (after informing people of the Sunnah),

‘And if they don’t accept it from you, then be silent.’

Mu’tamir ibn Sulayman: ‘I heard my father say,

‘You can never get a man to listen to you when you have just angered him.’

Point of benefit: Advise people of correct actions, the Sunnah, and the proper manner of conduct etc, but don’t push them to the point of anger and arguments because getting advice through to a person in that state is like trying to force back water flowing from a tap… Instead, let the heat die down, let the issue close for a while and then try again when things are calm.

Source: Al-Adab al-Shar'iyyah, by Ibn Muflih al-Maqdisi [pg. 307].

 

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Say Alhamdulillah. Now say it again. And now say it again.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "There is no favour which Allah bestows upon His servant for which he says, 'Alhamdulillah', except that that which he gave was better than that which he took." (Narrated on the authority of Anas b. Malik (r) and collected by Ibn Majah with a hasan chain.)

So basically, despite all the incredible, innumerable and continual blessings and favours that Allah (jalla wa 'ala) bestows on His servants every single moment of their lives, all it requires is for me and you to show our thanks and gratitude to our Lord by sincerely uttering "Alhamdulillah" and - quite unbelievably - what we have just said and offered back to Allah i.e. our praising of Him 'azza wa jall, is MORE and better than all of what Allah 'azza wa jall gave us in the first place.

Allahu Akbar. The mercy of our Lord is just - SubhaanAllah - almost incomprehensible some times. How fortunate we are, how really really fortunate we are to be Muslims. Alhamdulillah.

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You might be wondering what I mean by "Asian Mean Time". It’s what one of my African friends also calls “African Time”. Partly, this is the inability of people to get to a place at an agreed time, but it’s more than that, it’s the idea that if you agree a time, you actually mean two hours later.

Like the time we were invited to a wedding in Lahore. We had to leave with the grooms party (baraat) at 8pm. At 8pm people were still mulling over what to wear I was panicking thinking we were late - much to everyone’s amusement. We finally left at 10pm, with me on my high horse thinking how terrible it was we couldn’t join the baraat on time. We got to the grooms house to find they were still getting ready! My mother-in-law pointed out – no-one here ever goes to anything on time.

Oh, and then there was the time that General Musharraf tried to establish daylight saving time in Pakistan where the clocks change by an hour in the spring and autumn (not sure why, they don’t have the problem of very short winter days like we do). So now there was the time you agreed to meet, the time you actually meet which is two hours later and there is “Musharraf Time”, so people were asking each other: “Ok 1pm, is that normal time or Musharraf time?” Probably trying to work out if they should turn up at 3pm or 4pm.

This still doesn’t explain why my hubby and in-laws were FOUR hours late to our wedding, but you can imagine it must have been a contributing factor (I’m still teasing him about this one and he is still making excuses!).

My family in contrast are sticklers for time. All of us seem to be full of nervous energy that doesn’t let us dawdle or relax and we are always early to an appointment or event (my parents are always one of the first ones to arrive at a wedding, because they actually turn up at the time on the invitation).

On the one hand, there is something to be said here about being more patient and relaxed. On the other I believe time is one of the most valuable resources available to us and we are negligent and careless about how we spend it. You may earn back lost money or property, you may regain lost health, but you can never regain time once it has passed, so I hate wasting time because someone hasn’t planned its use properly or because people are disorganised.

I also think that when someone keeps you waiting without a very good reason, they show a lack of respect. You wouldn’t keep someone you consider important waiting, you wouldn’t be late for an job interview or a meeting with your manager. So if you keep someone waiting, because you’re not that fussed about when you turn up, you can’t have much respect for them.

I feel that when you are agreeing a time with someone, you are giving them your word that you will be there at a certain time. For a Muslim, to break a promise is a big thing and we seem to take this very, very lightly. I can’t think of many Muslim events I have attended that have started or run on time, we generally seem to be hopeless at it and run on "Asian Mean Time" or "African Time", or should we call it "Chaotic Muslim Time"?

One thing that helps me is to factor in Salaah (prayer) times. So usually when I agree to meet someone or go somewhere, I will work out which Salaah falls during that time and factor in the additional time to make wudhoo' (ablutions) and pray. Or often, I will agree with family members to do something by Dhuhr (afternoon prayer) or after Fajr (dawn prayer).

Generally, though, I think we should be more careful to honour our word when it comes to agreeing on a time for something. If you agreed 1pm, and know you can’t get there till 3pm, then agree 3pm. Whoever then says, “Yes, but then I won’t get there till 5pm” really needs a bucket of water over their head, or an alarm clock, or some roller skates…

Undoubtedly keeping promises and keeping one’s word are attributes of the believers, and breaking promises is one of the attributes of the hypocrites, as was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are four (characteristics), whoever has them is a hypocrite, and whoever has one of the four has a characteristic of hypocrisy unless he gives it up: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise he breaks it; what he makes a pledge he betrays it; and when he disputes he resorts to foul language.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2327; Muslim, 58)

 

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In life we tend to be judgmental and very often look down upon others without exploring deeper and finding out why the person is behaving in such a way. The Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) is reported to have said: "It is enough of evil for a person to hold his brother Muslim in contempt. All of a Muslim is sacred to another Muslim: his blood, his wealth and his honour." (Saheeh Muslim)

A young couple moves into a new neighbourhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbour hanging the laundry outside. "That laundry is not very clean", she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap." Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbour would hang her washing to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

Some time later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean laundry on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this."

"The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows"

Lesson: If our windows are dirty so will we see others as dirty too. What we see in others is indeed a reflection of our inner-selves! So it is with life that what we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. It is easy for us to condemn, discuss other people, their lives & things that really doesn't even concern us and we tend to forget - our windows may not be that clean after all! If we good we will see good…

The Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) is reported to have said:

"A Muslim is a mirror to another Muslim" (Abu Dawud)

 

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*The original translation of this text has been edited for readability.

There are found amongst the people those that will backbite depending on the gathering, his companions and his associates whilst knowing that the one being backbitten is free of what they say, or of some of what he says. However, he sees that if he were to forbid them then the gathering will cease and the people in the gathering would become sullen and estranged from him. So he undertakes compliance with them just for good social relations as well as to retain companionship.

Then there are those that backbite in other ways. So at times it would be under the guise of religion and rectification, so he will say: ‘I am not in the habit of mentioning anyone except with good and I neither like backbiting nor lies, however, I shall inform you of his affairs.’ So He will say: ‘By Allaah! He is Miskeen (weak/pitied) or he is a good man however he has in him such and such.’ Or he may say: ‘Let us leave him; may Allaah forgive him and us.’ Whilst his intent is to belittle him. They seek to deceive Allaah with that just as they deceive the creation. We have seen this and its like in various colours (i.e. forms).

Then there are those that backbite to show off and in order to raise himself in the eyes of man. So he will say: ‘If I had supplicated for so and so last night in my prayer...’ He then raises himself whilst putting his brother down in front of the one that may have faith in him. Or he may say: ‘So and so is dull in intelligence and has little understanding.’ Although his intent is to praise himself and establish good awareness of himself in society and to show that he is better than the one he sinfully backbit.

Likewise, from them (i.e. such people) are those that backbite due to envy. Such people are between two ugly affairs: backbiting as well as envy. So, when an individual is praised then he will try to stop the praiser by showing and highlighting his deficiencies under the pretense of religion and rectification, or in the form of envy, immorality and dispraise so as to change the praiser's mind about him.

Then there are those that backbite by way of mocking and play, just to make other than himself laugh through his joking, mimicry and belittling of the one he is joking about.

Then there are those that backbite when showing amazement. So he will say: ‘I am amazed at so and so, at how he does not do such and such?! And from so and so, as to how he fell into such and such, and how he did such and such.’ Hence, he says his name while expressing his amazement and astonishment.

There are those that backbite when showing sorrow. So he will say: ‘So and so is weak/pitied, it has caused me sorrow for what has happened to him and what the outcome was for him.’ In this way the one who hears him thinks that he has sorrow for him and that he is sad for him, and that his heart is covered in worry for him. Such a person may also mention him (the one backbit) in front of his enemies so that they may profit from it. So this, and other than it, is from amongst the greatest of the sicknesses of the heart as well as deceitfulness to Allaah and His creation.

From them are those that may backbite when angry and when disapproving something abominable. There then becomes manifest about him certain things from his speech which contains fallacies whilst his intent was other than which he made apparent.

And indeed Allaah’s aid is sought.

 

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Imam al-Awzaa’ee [1] once said,

“No-one has ever been afflicted in his Deen with an affliction worse than a loose tongue.” 2

From the signs that Allaah loves a person is that He delivers him from sin and afflictions in his Deen, He protects him from whatever will harm his Hereafter and certainly, He protects him from engaging in that which does not concern him.

The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, “From the best of one’s Islam is his abandoning that which does not concern him.” 3

Sometimes we find ourselves engaged in discussions that bring little benefit to us, other times we see ourselves hurriedly forming opinions or establishing our argument when in reality there is little need. We are neither scholars that our opinion should be followed nor are we leaders to impose such attitude. Sadly, many are those who lose all control over their tongues and inevitably find themselves plunged into issues and matters that do not concern them, whereby they waste time and yet increase their hisaab (reckoning) for Yawm al-Hisaab.

Mu’adh ibn Jabal (radhiallaahu `anhu) asked the Messenger (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam), “Will we be held responsible for what we say?” Whereupon he (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, “… And is there anything that topples people on to their faces into the Hellfire other than the harvests of their tongue?” 4

There is a well-kept concept in Islam called ‘hifdh al-lisaan’ – guarding the tongue. Books have been written on the subject by scholars throughout time and in fact, qawaa’id (principles) have been formed on it. To protect your tongue means to protect yourself. How many times have we regretted speaking too quickly about something, how often have we wished to take back even just one word?

A poet once said,

"Conceal your inability as much as you can with silence

In silence there is indeed a respite

And if you’re unable (of answering), then make silence your answer

Perhaps the answer to a statement is in the silence". 5

Without doubt, refraining from speaking when one ardently wishes to, is an extremely difficult matter. Some will even say impossible! But I ask, is piety ever an easy asset to claim? To be silent when it’s called for, means overpowering the Shaytaan as Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (radhiallaahu `anhu) said,

“I advice you with the taqwa of Allah for it is the head of all matters and upon you is Jihad for it is the asceticism of Islam, and upon you is the remembrance of Allah and recitation of the Qur’aan for it is your soul amongst the people of heaven and your mention amongst the people of the world, and upon you is to observe silence except in the truth for you will then overpower the Shaytaan.” 6

Al-Mu’allaa ibn Ziyaad said: Mu’arriq al-‘Ijlee 7 said, “There’s a matter that I have been seeking for 20 years, and I will never stop seeking it.” He said, “And what is that O Abu Mu’tamir?” He said,

“Silence over that which does not concern me.”

And it is related that Sufyaan al-Thawri said,

“That I should cast a spear at a man is more beloved to me than that I should cast him with my tongue because the spear may miss target, but a word never does.”

As is well-known, excessive speech leads to the hardening of the heart whilst observing general silence and speaking little honours the believer and increases him/her in virtue. If you see hardness in your heart, weakness in your body and a prevention in your provision, then know that you have indulged yourself in speaking much, especially in that which does not concern you! A wise man once said, “There is much goodness in silence and this goodness has been assembled in seven points 8:

1. That silence is ‘ibadah (worship) without any adherence

2. It’s an adornment without any jewels

3. An imposing charm and authority without any governance

4. A fortress without any walls

5. It means to be free from apologising to anyone

6. No recording of al-Kiraam al-Kaatibeen (angels)

7. And a concealment of one’s faults

And it is often said – silence is a beauty for the scholar and concealment for the ignorant one – i.e. one’s ignorance may be concealed by silence, until knowledge is gained whereby they gain the capacity and full right to speak well.

And truthful was the poet when he said,

Knowledge is beauty and silence is salvation

If you speak, then do not be excessive

If I ever regretted my silence just once

Then I have indeed regretted my speech a lot more

Excessive speech is abhorred to such an extent that people would shun a scholar and refuse to narrate from a person if he indulged in that. Ibn Hibbaan relates in his book Rawdhatul-uqalaa’ that ‘a group from the people of knowledge abandoned the narrations of those who were excessive in speaking about that which did not concern them: It is narrated from Umayah ibn Khalid from Sa’eed that he said to Hakam, ‘What’s wrong with you that you don’t narrate from Zaadhaan?’ He said,

‘He is excessive in his speech!’

The stories of the righteous predecessors who observed silence and were renowned for that are certainly many, but sufficient for us is al-Rabee’ ibn Kaytham – a scholar from the major Tabi’een (rahimahumullah). Ibrahim al-Taymi says,

“A companion of his who accompanied him for 20 years informed me that they had never heard him (al-Rabee’) err in his speech.”

He was known for his speaking little, even in the face of calamities and fitnah. Musa ibn Sa’eed narrates that when Husayn ibn ‘Ali (radhiallaahu `anhu) was killed, a man from the companions of al-Rabee’ said: “If al-Rabee’ was ever to speak, he will surely speak today!” So he went and entered in on al-rabee’ and informed him, whereupon al-Rabee’ looked to the sky and said,

“O Allâh! Creator of the heavens and the earth! All-Knower of the Ghayb (unseen) and the seen. You will judge between Your slaves about that wherein they used to differ.” [al-Zumar: 46]

‘Ajeeb (amazing).

May Allaah protect us and give us the strength to refrain from excessive speech and speaking about that which does not concern us. Ameen

__________

References

1. Abu `Amr 1Abdur-Rahman ibn `Amr al-Awzaa’ee, Imam and scholar of Fiqh in Shaam.

2. Rawdhatul-‘Uqalaa’ by Ibn Hibbaan

3. Reported by al-Tirmidhi, hasan Hadeeth

4. Reported by al-Tirmidhi, hasan sahih Hadeeth

5. Rawdhatul-‘Uqalaa’ pg. 39

6. Nuzhat al-Fudhalaa’ [1/248]

7. Abu Mu’tamir Mu’arriq ibn Mushmarij al-Basri al-‘Ijlee, from the Tabi’in of Basra

8. Tanbeeh al-Ghaafileen by Imam Abul-Layth al-Samarqandi

 

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We live in a culture where telling lies is acceptable under certain circumstances.  Jokes are laced with lies. To make lies seem more acceptable we even label some of them as "white lies". How many of us lie to extricate ourselves from difficulty or to get what we want?  We may lie to get married by lying about our age.  We lie to get a job by overstating our skills or experience.  We may lie to our children to get them to make excuses for us when we don't want to answer the phone or if we want them to listen to us and then wonder where did our children learn to lie? We may lie to our spouses that we do lower our gaze or that we don't waste their money when our actions "speak" otherwise?  How many of us lie even jokingly? How many of us think that telling lies is acceptable and won't harm anyone?

Abu Dharr (ra) narrated that, The Messenger of Allah (saws) was reclining amongst the Companions and he said to us:

"Shall I tell you the greatest of wrong actions?" We said, "Yes, Messenger of Allah". He answered: "To associate partners with Allah, to disobey your parents in an ill-mannered fashion..." and then he sat up as if to emphasize his words and said: "lying speech and bearing false witness, lying speech and bearing false witness..." and he went on repeating this until his voice faltered and we became concerned for his health". (Bukhari and Muslim)

According to the above hadith lying is not only a sin but a major sin which the Messenger of Allah (saws) emphasized by sitting up and repeating this over and over again, which he didn't do for the sin of shirk (associating partners with Allah swt) and which he didn't do for the major sin of disobeying parents.  Lying is such a huge sin that the Messenger of Allah (saws) mentioned it with shirk and whoever commits shirk and dies upon this will enter the hellfire forever.

Ayman ibn Khuraim (ra) related that once the Messenger of Allah (saws) stood to address the people and said, "People! False witness is equal to shirk!"  He repeated this three times and then recited: "So shun  the abomination of idolatory and shun telling lies" s22v30 (Ahmad)

Imagine that Allah swt has allowed you the opportunity to say your shahadaah and have the blessings of being a muslim...not just are you a muslim but you love Allah swt, you love His Messenger (saws), you love the Quraan, you love to seek knowledge...you love islam...you have never bowed infront of an idol and you would never worship anything other than Allah (swt)...but because you gave false witness and lied on the Day of Resurrection you will be treated like someone who committed shirk and be thrown into the hellfire!

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: "The feet of the one who bears false witness will not move from his place until Allah commands him to be taken to Hell." (Al-Hakim)

In the first 21 ayats of surah baqarah Allah swt talks minimally about the believers and the disbelievers and instead focuses mainly upon the hypocrites.  Of these verses are those mentioned below:

They (think to) deceive Allah and those who believe, while they only deceive themselves, and perceive (it) not. In their hearts is a disease (of doubt and hypocrisy) and Allah has increased their disease. A painful torment is theirs because they used to tell lies. s2v9-10.

Of all the characteristic traits which lead to their receiving continuous painful punishment, Allah swt explains they were of those who used to tell lies.  And as telling lies leads to the hellfire and is a trait possessed by the hypocrites,  telling the truth is a trait of piety and leads to Paradise:

The Prophet (saws) said: "Truthfulness leads to piety, and piety leads to Paradise.  A person should be truthful until he is written down as truthful in the sight of Allah.  Lying leads to deviance and deviance leads to the Fire.  A person lies to the point that he is written down as a liar in the sight of Allah." (Riyad as Saliheen.)

So as tempting as it is to lie just that once, just to achieve something, even if it is something noble like getting married, or getting a job or getting your children to stop crying or your spouse not to have a melt down at your secret life, telling lies is a sin on the same level as major shirk, a trait of hypocrisy which can lead to the hellfire.

But the saddest consequence of lying is how it affects our relationship with The King of Kings Allah swt. That although our spouse trusts us, our children trust us, our work colleagues trust us...although our achievements seem exemplary and the people are impressed by our trustworthiness,  in reality, Allah swt the All Knowledgeable and All Aware judges us to be a liar. That we may have fooled the people but we haven't fooled Allah swt who knows everything.  And in my humble opinion there is a loss no greater than to loose our status and value in the sight of the All Mighty whose Admiration only the worthy and blessed compete for and the unworthy lose (may we all be prevented from experiencing such a loss).

 

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I will start working at a dealership showroom and it seems to me that most sales people are liars.

Let’s face it. Whether its business, keeping a relationship with your spouse, family, or your friends we can all agree trust is the single most important principle in order to maintain stability and comfort in your life.

From time to time, we forget we will be taken into account for how we used our tongues. Though many people are unaware of the seriousness of lying, we need to drill something into our hearts today and that is that we should always be aware of what we say before we say it. We don’t follow Pinocchio, we follow the Sunnah, let’s make it clear.

Of course we are not Angels, we are meant to be completely disciplined. In that case we have got to speak and live the truth, as many of us know even the hypocrites also say the Shahaadah (la ilaaha illa Allah), but what should separate you from the hypocrite is that you don’t just say the Shahaadah, you outright live it! Lying leads to more problems, you try to cover it up and you end up in a big mess.

You might think you got away with it, but you need to realize that Allah watches over everything. What’s strange is how people get so comfortable in lying or sinning and they laugh about it, as if they won’t be bought fourth on the Day of Judgment.

The reason why I decided to write about this was because I have seen consistently by looking at society that we like to over-exaggerate stories, sometimes we might even sugar coat them or we will just simply lie. Whatever the case, the point is we all have to develop Tawheed (the feeling of Allah’s Oneness) in our hearts. We have to constantly reaffirm our beliefs and keep ourselves in check, if you stay within good company, Inshaa'Allah (God Willing) they will help you. If not find some new friends.

What about April fools, is it haraam? What if someone says, 'I’m only joking'? Okay, is lying the same as joking? Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (s) would only joke if it was true. Like when the old woman came to him and she asked Prophet Muhammad (s) to make du'aa for her because she was old and wanted to go to heaven. He replied, “Old woman will not enter paradise”. When she heard this, she began crying, then he said, “Because all woman will enter paradise young”. Then she smiled, you see, that’s a real joke. Mashaa'Allah!

Let me quickly quote a verse in the Holy Quran “And do not say that of which you have no knowledge.” (17:36)

Also two serious hadeeth to wrap up my message, by our beloved Prophet Muhammad (s), “Truthfulness leads to piety and piety leads to the Paradise. A man should be truthful until he is written down as truthful with God. Lying leads to deviance and deviance leads to the Fire. A man will lie until he is written down as a liar with God.”

“If anyone has four characteristics, he is a pure hypocrite, and if anyone has one of them, he has an aspect of hypocrisy until he gives it up: whenever he is trusted, he betrays his trust; whenever he speaks, he lies; when he makes an agreement, he breaks it; and when he quarrels, he deviates from the truth by speaking falsely.”

So start watching what you say, if you’re having a problem, carry a mirror with you. May Allah help guard our mouths and give us the strength and intellect to enter Paradise.

And we don’t need lie detector tests, the Angels are recording everything!

Don’t lie like pinnochio, before you find that you are lying in the Grave...

 

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Today Muslims now suffer from two rampant diseases, though immunity from them is easy for those who are protected by Allâh. These two diseases are backbiting and tale-bearing. Backbiting (Gheebah) denotes maligning a person and speaking evil about any of his characteristics or deeds. Many Muslims today are not free from indulging in backbiting people and criticizing them, despite the fact that those backbiters themselves are not free from fault! They harm themselves aswell as those who listen to their backbiting, those who listen without denouncing them.

O Muslims! Allah depicts those who backbite their fellow Muslims in the most repulsive state, as eating the flesh of the dead body of one who is backbitten.

Your duty when you hear others backbite your brothers and sisters in faith is to be earnest in forbidding and stopping the backbiter and to defend the honors of Muslims, just as you would stop the one who eats from the flesh of a dead body infront of you. Allah, the Almighty, says, "O you who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin. And spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it. But fear Allah, for Allah is Oft Returning, Most Merciful." (Al-Hujuraat: 12).      

A backbiter will be punished on the Day of Resurrection by ordering him to eat from the flesh of the dead bodies of those whom he backbit in the world, they will be presented as dead bodies in front of him. It was narrated in the Hadith relating the story of Mi'raaj (Ascent) that, "The Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) passed by people with copper fingernails, with which they scratch their own faces and chests. He asked, 'Who are those, Jibreel?' It was answered, 'Those are the people who eat the flesh of other people and vilified their honor.' The Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) then said, "O you who have declared faith with your tongues, but your hearts are not imbued with faith! Do not backbite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces and exposes him in his house".

O Muslims! Sometimes when backbiters are advised to give up such bad habit, they plead innocence by stating that they are telling the truth. The Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) was asked concerning backbiting, "Suppose that there are (these) actual faults in the one I am talking about?" The Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) replied, "If what you say regarding your brother (in faith) is truth, then you will still be guilty of backbiting, but if what you say concerning him is untrue, you will be guilty of committing falsehood against him".

Hence, the Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam ) explained to his Ummah that backbiting denotes mentioning the real faults of a person. However, the worse evil is to backbite a believer by mentioning faults, which are not even in him. Imaam Ahmad, as well as the scholars who adopted his school (i.e. methodology), maintained that backbiting is one of the major sins. This gives a warning to Muslims to stop backbiting others and to be concerned with their own faults. Once a person finds a fault within his brother or sister in faith, he should advice him/her and guide them towards how to eliminate these fault rather than vilifying them. This is the requisite for establishing a real bond of brotherhood based on faith, and the torch that guides towards Islaam.

The other rampant disease is Nameemah (tale-bearing, or going around with calumnies), which denotes carrying the statements made against some people and transmitting such statements to those backbitten people, with the aim of spreading corruption and sowing enmity and hatred among people. This kind of Nameemah is considered the most grievous of all, and the one who is guilty of it is to incur torture in the grave, as well as the torment of the Fire of Hell. The Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, "No talebearer shall ever enter Paradise." The Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) also once passed by two graves and said,

"They (the dwellers of these graves) are now being tortured due to something which was not difficult to resist: One of them neglected cleansing his genitals after urinating and the others used to carry tales."

O Muslims! Anyone, to whom a report is carried of someone vilifying him/her, should condemn such an act and forbid the tale-carrier from persisting in his sin. He should also sort out such a talebearer for, just as the talebearer carries tales of people to him, he most likely carries tales regarding you to other people. Allah the Almighty says,

"Heed not the type of despicable man, ready with oaths, a slanderer, going about with calumnies." (Al-Qalam: 10 -11).     

May Allah guide you and I to the best of manners and deeds and keep us away from bad manners. May he guide us to His straightforward path, for He is Most Bounteous, Most Generous.

May Allâh bless our Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam), his family and his Companions.

 

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The Tongue Expresses what is in the Heart

The most important part of the body is the heart, as has been mentioned by our noble Prophet M uhammed (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam), “Indeed there is a piece of flesh in your body that, if it is sound, then the whole body will be sound, and if it is corrupt then the whole body will be corrupt. Indeed it is the heart.” (Sahih al-Bukhari [1/49] & Sahih al-Muslim [1599])

The heart is thus the port where all actions stem, whether good or evil. If the heart is good then the actions will be sound and if the heart is corrupt then the actions will be bad. The heart is the place where Allah scans, as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam ) says, “Allah does not look at your bodies nor your faces but he scans your heart and actions.” (Sahih al-Muslim [4/6221])

As for the heart, Allah has commanded us to love Him and His Messenger, to love the righteous people, to love that which Allah loves and to hate all which Allah hates. The tongue acts accordingly, because...the tongue expresses what is in the heart.

If a person is good, it reflects in their speech. Allah has made it very easy for the tongue to move, infact a person’s tongue moves much more in comparison to his limbs. So if a person is not careful about what he says, even a single saying of his can invalidate his actions. It is for this reason that the whole body warns the tongue saying, “Fear Allah concerning us, for we are (dependant) upon you. If you are upright then we will be upright and if you are corrupt then we will be corrupt.” (Sunan at-Tirmidhi (1912), Mishkaat (4838) and Riyaadh as-Saleheen (2/1521)

And at the same time, the tongue is a great blessing from Allah. If we look at the animals, who are unable to speak, we realize the importance of this great tool of communication.

The gratitude that we can should show for this great blessing can include using the tongue for Allah's obedience, reading the Qur'aan, seeking beneficial knowledge, enjoining good and forbidding evil. The prohibitions of the tongue are that you do not lie, abuse, use foul language, backbite and slander.

Allah says in the begining of Soorah al-Mumineen, {Indeed successful are the Believers, those who in their prayer have Khushoo’ (fear of Allah) and those who refrain from vain talk.} (Soorah Mumineen: 1-3)

Here Allah mentions that refraining from vain talk is a sign of the successful believers. Allah also mentions refraining from vain talk after he mentions al-Khushoo’. This is because too much talk makes the heart hard. In truth, it is not possible to reach the level of Khushoo’ (fear of Allah) unless one refrains from vain talk.

Imaam an-Nawawee (rahimahullah) mentions,

“Know it is incumbent upon all to guard their tongues from most speech, except a word that has some benefit in it....” - (Kitaabul-Adhkaar)

And for those who take heed there is a constant reminder in the verse, {Not a word is said except that there is a watcher by him ready to record it.} (Soorah Qaf (50):18)

The Messenger of Allah, Muhammed (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or keep silent.”

Imaam ash-Shafiee (rahimahullah) said,

“If you wish to speak then it is upon you to think before you speak. If you think there is good in it then speak and if not then do not speak.”

The earlier mentioned Qur'aanic verses, aHaadeeth (Prophetic Narrations) of our noble Prophet and advice by the Scholars of Islaam all stand as a guide for those searching for pure speech and salvation from vain talk.

Therefore, before we talk, we must ask ourselves:

? Will this saying of mine please Allah?

? Will this saying of mine bring me closer to Allah?

? Does this saying earn with it obedience to Allah?

If yes, then speak, otherwise one should remain silent.

Guarding The Tongue From All Disobedience

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “Guard your tongue, stay in your homes and weep over your sins." (Related by Ibn Mubarak in az-Zuhd (no.134), Musnad Ahmed bin Hambal (5/259), Sunan at-Tirmidhi (2531) and authenticated by al-Albaanee in as-Saheehah (no.890)

Also the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “Most of the sins of the children of Aadam are from the tongue.” (At-Tabaraanee (3/87/1-2). Authenticated by al-Haafidh al-Mundhiri in al-Targheeb (4/8)

The Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “Allah has forbidden for you,

And Allah has hated for you,

Abu Moosa al-Asharee (radiAllahu' anhu) said, “O Messenger of Allah, which of the Muslims are better?”

The Messenger of Allah said, “Those who do not harm the Muslims with their tongues and hands.” (Saheeh al-Bukhari (1/10) and Saheeh al-Muslim (1/64)

Sahl ibn Sa’ad (radiAllahu' anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah said, “Whoever guards what is between his jaws and legs, I shall guarantee him paradise.” (Saheeh al-Bukhari (8/481). A similar narration can be found in Muwatta of Imam Malik (56/11) and Sunan at-Tirmidhi)

Most of the Residents and Inmates of the Hellfire

When the Companion of the Prophet, Mu’adh ibn Jabal (radhiAllahu'anhu) asked the Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) regarding that which would entitle him to enter Paradise and save him from the hell-fire, he (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) mentioned the pillars of Islam and informed Mu’aadh of the importance of the night prayers and of Jihaad. He (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) then said, “Should I not inform you of the sheet anchor of all this?”, and then took hold of his tongue and said, “Exercise restraint on it.” Mu’adh (radiAllahu' anhu) enquired, “O Messenger of Allah, will we be held responsible for what we say with it!?”

Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah said, “Mu’adh, will anything else besides (irresponsible) talk cause the people to be thrown in the Hell-Fire upon their faces?” (Sunan at-Tirmidhi and Riyaadh as-Saaliheen (2/1522)

Therefore, a Muslim must beware and learn to imprison the tongue from vain talk, for the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “Every saying of the children of Aadam is cursed, except for the enjoining good and forbidding the evil or for the remembrance of Allah.” (Sunan at-Tirmidhi)

And “The world and all that it contains is cursed, except for the remembrance of Allah and what supports it, and a scholar and a student.” (Sunan Ibn Majah (no.4112) and and authenticated by Sheikh al-Albani in Saheehul-Jaami’ (no.3414)

Abu Hurairah (radiAllahu' anhu) from the Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) that, “From the good Islaam of a man, is that he leaves that which does not benefit him.” (Musnad Ahmed bin Hambal (4/132), Sunan at-Tirmidhi, Sunan Ibn Majah, al-Baihaqi in Shu’ab al-Imaan)

Imaam Ahmad (rahimahullaah) mentioned in his Musnad on the authority of Anas (radiAllahu ‘anhu) who relates that the Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said “The eemaan of Allah’s servant will not be upright until his heart is upright and his heart will not be upright until his tongue is upright.” (Also mentioned in al-Mundhiri (3/234) and al-Iraqee in al-Ihya (8/1539)

One Word! ! SubhaanAllaah.

Abu Hurairah (radiAllahu'anhu) said that he heard the Messenger say, “Indeed a servant (worshipper of Allah) may say a word which he doesn’t realize and it will make him fall into the fire further than the East and the West.”

Abu Hurairah (radiAllahu' anhu) also reported that the Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “Indeed a servant may say a word from which Allah’s pleasure is gained and the servant does not realize it, Allah will raise him up levels. Indeed a servant may say a word from which Allah’s displeasure is gained and he does not realize it, Allah will put him in Jahanam due to it.” (Saheeh al-Bukhari (8/485), Al-Muwatta (56/6) and in Saheehul-Jaami’ of al-Albaani)

Imaam Ahmed (rahimahullaah) along with at-Tirmidhi, an-Nasaai and Ibn Majah record a Hadeeth on the authority of the Sahabee, Fujani (radiAllahu' anhu) who said, “O Messenger of Allah tell me something that I may be firm upon?”. He (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) answered, “Say, My Lord is Allah and then be upright concerning it.”

He (Fujani) asked, “What is the thing that you fear for most.” The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) took hold of his tongue and said, “This!” (Musnad Ahmed bin Hambal, Sunan an-Nasaai, Sunan Ibn Majah and Sunan at-Tirmidhi)

Backbiting (Gheebah)

Allah says in the Qur'aan, {Do not backbite each other, would any of you wish to eat the flesh of your dead brother, no rather you hate it!!} (Soorah Hujarat :12)

The Messenger of Allah once asked his Companions, “Do you know what is backbiting?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “To mention about your brother that which he hates.”

They said, “What if that which we say about our brother is true?” He (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “If there is in him what you say about him then that is backbiting, and if you say of him that which is not true then you have slandered him.” (Saheeh al-Muslim (4/6265), Sunan Abu Dawood (3/4856) and al-Muwatta (56/10)

The Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) vigorously opposed all aspects of backbiting, even when it appeared in his own family. For example, once a woman visited 'Aa'ishah (radiAllahu' anha) and when the woman got up to leave, 'Aa'ishah (radiAllahu' anha) made a sign with her hand indicating to the Prophet (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) that the woman was short of stature. The Prophet immediately chastised her, saying, “You have backbitten!” and in another narration, “You have said a saying that if mixed with the sea it would change its color.” (Mentioned in Ibn Jareer in Tafseer al-Qur'aan al-Adheem, vol.4, p.328 (30) and Sunan Abu Dawood (3/4857)

Abu Bakra (radiAllahu' anhu) reports that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, in his khutbah (sermon) on the day of Nahr, “Indeed the blood, property and honor are sacred to you, like the sacredness of this day (‘arafah), like the sacredness of this place, like the sacredness of this month; Have I conveyed the message?” (Saheeh al-Bukhari (1/105) and Saheeh al-Muslim (2/2803) This is only a part of a lengthy narration.)

And by Allah he (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) has conveyed the message, hence we must guard the right of our fellow Believers.

Tale-Carrying (Nameemah)

Allah says in the Qur'aan, {Woe to every slanderer and backbiter.} (Soorah Humazah:1)

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “The Gossip-monger will not enter paradise.”(Saheeh al-Bukhari (8/82), Saheeh al-Muslim (1/187) and Musnad Ahmed bin Hanbal)

The Messenger (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) passed by two graves and said, “They are being punished. As regards one of them then he used to go around gossip-mongering and as regards the other then he was not careful while urinating.” (Saheeh al-Bukhari (1/215) and Saheeh al-Muslim (1/575)

On the authority of Saeed ibn Zayid that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “Indeed the lowest form of usury is to prolong the speech about the honor of a Muslim without justice.” (Sunan Abu Dawood (3/4858)

Overcoming the evil habit of backbiting

Firstly, as Imaam an-Nawawee (rahimahullaah) stated, one should remember the punishment of Allah. One must remember that Allah is the Lord of the heavens and the earth. He is the One, aware of every saying, at every time. If one remembers this, it is only natural that one will be modest and shy and will prevent him from speaking about someone else in an ill-manner. We need to realize that when one of us is hurt, when something wrong is said about the creation, then Allah is the All-Seeing and All-Hearing.

Secondly, we should reflect on the Qur'aanic verse, {Do not backbite each other, would any of you wish to eat the flesh of your dead brother, no rather you hate it!!} [Soorah Hujarat :12]

And we surely hate even the thought of it.

Thirdly, fear that your own faults would be revealed, as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said,“O you who believe with your tongues, yet eeman (faith) has not entered your hearts. Do not backbite the Muslims, nor follow their faults. For he who follows others faults then Allah will declare (disclose) his faults and he whom Allah reveals his faults, then Allah disgraces him in his own house.” (Sunan Abu Dawood (3/4862) and and authenticated by Sheikh al-Albani in Saheeh Jaami’ Sagheer)
Fourthly, take the advice of the pious scholars of Islaam, among them ….

Umar ibn Khattab (radiAllahu' anhu) who said,

“Be caution in remembering people (in an evil manner) for it is an illness and be in the remembrance of Allah for it is a medicine.”

A man came to al-Hasan al-Basri (rahimahullaah) and said that he had heard that al-Hasan al-Basri had backbitten him. Upon this he (rahimahullaah) said,

“Who are you that I may give you my rewards?”

Fifth, and the most important thing to keep in mind is that there is a great reward to refrain from backbiting, as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “Whoever protects the honor of his brother in his absence, Allah will protect his face from the Fire on the Day of Judgment.” (Sunan at-Tirmidhi and and authenticated by Sheikh al-Albani in Saheeh Sunan at-Tirmidhi (2/1575)

Exceptions to Backbiting

There are a few exceptions to backbiting which the scholars have clarified.

Among them are,

• Oppression: If one has been harmed or one’s property has been unlawfully taken away by another, and this person goes to the ruler or judge in order to seek justice, this is not backbiting.

• Changing the Munkar (abomination): If one finds a person involved in evil actions or innovations, and one is unable to correct his Munkar. It is allowed to seek the help of a more knowledgeable person, even if it mean defining the Munkar of the evil-doer or innovator.

• Seeking a Fatwah (religious verdict): For example, there is a dispute between a husband and his wife, and if either of them seek the advice of a religious scholar, then this situation is exempt from backbiting.

• Warning a Muslim from evil: For example, if a fellow Muslim is going to do a business with an dishonest person or if a Muslim is unaware that the person to whom he is marrying his daughter to, is an unreligious person; then to advice and guide him is exempt from backbiting.

• Advising against innovators and sinners: If a innovator is openly involved in spreading his innovative beliefs or a sinner remorselessly declares his sin and is thus being a bad example for others; then warning others against him is allowed. But if he commits a sin secretly and as such harms just himself, to openly declare his sins is still strictly prohibited.

Remember

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) said, “Do not nurse a grudge (against a Muslim) and do not outbid him for raising the price and do not nurse aversion (strong dislike) or enmity and do not enter into a transaction when others have entered into that transaction and be as fellow-brothers and servants of Allah. A Muslim is the brother of another, he neither betrays (or deceives him), nor humiliates him, nor looks down upon him. Piety is here (and while saying so) he pointed towards his chest three times. All things of a Muslims are inviolable for his brother in faith, his blood, his wealth and his honor.” (Saheeh al-Muslim (4/6219), part of the wording being that of Sunan Abu Dawood (3/4864)

He (sallallahu'alayhi wasallam) also said, “No (Muslim) man will desert a man who is a Muslim in a place where his respect may be violated and his honor aspersed without Allah deserting him in a place where he wishes help; and no (Muslim) man who will help a Muslim in a place where is honor may be aspersed and his respect violated without Allah helping him in a place where he wishes his help.” (Sunan Abu Dawood (3/4866) and and authenticated by Sheikh al-Albani in Saheeh Jaami’ Sagheer)

 

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Category: Disciplining the Tongue

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Backbiting – mere words – but they are words that bring upon the one who utters them shame and ignominy and may even consign him/her to the hellfire. Such a person has given in to his vain desires and succumbed to his destructive tendencies.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hellfire further than the distance between the east and west.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (6477) and Sahîh Muslim (2988)]

A Muslim utters a word whereby he describes his fellow Muslim in a negative way – either explicitly or implicitly – and it plunges the speaker into clear and evident loss. And what could be a greater loss than for a person to say something that does nothing for him but rob him of his blessings and good deeds? Then, if his good deeds run out on the Day of Judgement, the sins of the one he has backbitten are taken from that person and foisted upon the speaker until he is hurled due to it into the hellfire. So many Muslims utter a mere word upon their tongues thoughtlessly, without any consideration, and without thinking that he/she will actually be taken to task for it.

Once Mu`aadh b. Jabal, the illustrious Companion, asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) to inform him of some good work that would admit him into Paradise and distance him from the Hellfire. The Prophet (peace be upon him) mentioned to him the virtues of many good deeds, then said, “Shall I inform you of the foundation of all of that?”

Mu`aadh replied, “Certainly.”  The Prophet (peace be upon him) took hold of his own tongue and said, “Restrain yourself from this.” 

Mu`aadh then asked, “O Prophet of Allah! Are we held to task for the things that we say?”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “May your mother be bereaved of you, O Mu'aadh! Does anything topple people headlong into the Hellfire save the harvests of their tongues?” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2616) and Sunan Ibn Mâjah (3973)]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said, “Whoever can guarantee to me what is between his two lips and what is between his two legs, I can guarantee for him Paradise.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (6474)]

The Prophet (peace be upon him), when he said, “what is between his two lips” was alluding to the words that a person speaks. To guarantee it means to only speak what Allah is pleased with. When he said “and what is between his legs” he was alluding to sexual relations, meaning that the person guarantees that he will not engage in any unlawful sexual activity outside of marriage that is prohibited by Allah.

Backbiting can be defined as the utterance of words whereby one mentions his fellow Muslim in a bad way or mentions him in a manner that he would be displeased with. It is called backbiting because a person generally berates another person in the other person’s absence.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) defines backbiting in the following way, and his definition is obviously preferred over any other. He said, “Do you know what backbiting is?”

They said: “Allah and His Messenger know best.”

He said, “It is to mention about your brother something that he would dislike having mentioned about him.” [Sahîh Muslim (2589)]

Al-Nawawî comments [al-Adhkâr]:

Mentioning about your brother something that he would dislike includes what concerns his body, his religious practice, his worldly station, his physical appearance, his moral character, his wealth, his parents, his children, his spouse, his servant, his clothing, his activities, his smiles and frowns and anything else that pertains to him. It does not matter if you mention it explicitly by word or implicitly by indication or a gesture… This includes the likes of saying “O Allah, pardon us all!” “O Allah, forgive us!” “Allah keep us safe!” All of this is backbiting.

The Prophet goes on in the same hadîth to explain the difference between backbiting and slander. He said, “It is to mention about your brother something that he would dislike having mentioned about him.”

Someone enquired: “O Messenger of Allah! What about if what I said about him is true?”

He replied, “If what you said about him is true, then you have backbitten him. If what you said about him is false, then you have slandered him.” [Sahîh Muslim (2589)]

Slander is a false statement of enormous sinfulness deserving of severe punishment. Allah says, {And those who malign believing men and women undeservedly bear upon themselves the guilt of slander and a manifest sin.} [Sûrah al-Ahzâb: 58]

Al-Hasan al-Basrî said,

“Backbiting has three manifestations, all of which are discussed in Allah’s Book. They are: backbiting, tale-telling, and slander. As for backbiting, it is to say about your brother something that is true about him. Tale-telling is to say something that you have heard about him. Slander is to say about him what is not true.”

The prohibition of backbiting

Backbiting is prohibited in Islam. This is a point of consensus among all Muslims, as mentioned by al-Nawawî. Al-Qurtubî says that it is agreed upon that backbiting is a major sin, because of the severe threats of punishment levied by the Qur’aan and Sunnah against the one who perpetrates this sin.

Evidence from the Qur’aan

1. Allah says: {O you who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor that. And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful.} [Sûrah al-Hujurât: 12]

Ibn `Abbaas comments on this verse, saying,

“Allah prohibits backbiting a believer with the least thing, just as he prohibits eating carrion.”

Abû Ya`laa discusses the comparison that this verse makes between backbiting and eating carrion, saying,

“This emphasizes just how prohibited backbiting is. Eating the flesh of the dead is severely proscribed. It is also something for which people have a natural abhorrence, and people should have the same loathing for backbiting as they have for eating such flesh.”

2. Allah says: {O you who believe! Let not some men among you deride others who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is a bad name after faith.} [Sûrah al-Hujurât: 11]

Ibn Kathîr, in his commentary on this verse, says about Allah’s words nor defame one another,

Sneering and defamation of people is condemnable and accursed behavior. Allah says: {Woe to every sneering defamer.} [Sûrah Humazah: 1] Sneering is carried out through one’s actions and defamation is carried out through one’s words.

Al-Shinqeetee says,

“Sneering is by way of action, like rolling one’s eyes or making a show of contempt or derision. Defamation takes place by way of one’s words and includes backbiting.”

3. Allah says: {Woe to every sneering defamer.} [Sûrah Humazah: 1]

We have already discussed its meaning. We should note that he verse starts off by proclaiming woe upon those people. The Arabic word used here is wayl. It is a word that implies a threat, conveying the meaning of debasement, punishment, and perdition. Wayl is also the name of a valley in Hell that Allah has set aside for sinners who are obstinate in their sinfulness and for unbelievers who are also wanton sinners.

4. {Neither obey thou each feeble oath-monger; detractor, going about with slander.} [Sûrah al-Qalam: 10-11]

Al-Shawkaanî describes the “detractor” mentioned in the verse to mean one who goes about backbiting people.

Ibn Taymiyah says concerning this verse,

“(It tells us) that the liar and oath-invoker are not to be obeyed, telling us by implication not to conduct ourselves in the same manner. Indeed, prohibiting the acceptance of the words of those who exhibit shameful moral conduct is a more eloquent and emphatic reprimand than to merely prohibit the conduct itself.”

Evidence from the Sunnah

1. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Your blood, your property and your honour are sacred to you like the sacredness of this day in this place in this month.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (1741) and Sahîh Muslim (1679)]

Ibn al-Mundhîr makes the following observation,

“The Prophet (peace be upon him) had prohibited backbiting in his farewell address to his followers, linking its prohibition to the prohibition of transgressing against another’s life or property. Then he emphasized how prohibited it is by declaring its prohibition to be as the sacredness of the sacred land and the sacred month.”

2. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “One of the greatest of the major sins is to stretch out one’s tongue without right against the honor of a Muslim.” [Sunan Abî Dâwûd (4877)]

3. `Aa'ishah relates that she said to the Prophet (peace be upon him), “It should tell you enough about Safiyyah that she is short.”

To this he replied: “You have said a word that if it was to be mixed with the water of the sea, it would contaminate it.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2502) and Sunan Abî Dâwûd (4875)]

Al-Mubaarakfooree, in his commentary on this hadîth, writes,

“It means that backbiting, if it were something that could be mixed with the water of the sea, it would noticeably contaminate it in spite of the vast and copious amount of water that the sea contains. How then is it going to be when it is mixed with our paltry good deeds?"

4. Two Companions once criticized a man who had been punished for committing adultery. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was traveling and he passed by the carcass of a donkey. He said, “Where are those two people? Get down and eat from the flesh of this donkey!”

They said: “O Prophet of Allah! Who would eat this?”

He said: “What the two of you have recently done by defaming the honor of your brother is far worse than eating from this.” [Sunan Abî Dâwûd (4428)]

Some words of the Pious Predecessors

Amr b. al-`Aas, while traveling with his companions, once passed by the dead, rotting body of a mule and said,

“I swear by Allah, it is better that one of you should eat from this until he fills his stomach than for him to eat the flesh of a Muslim.”

Ka`b al-Ahbaar said,

“Backbiting nullifies a person’s good deeds.”

Al-Hasan al-Basree said,

“I swear by Allah, backbiting is swifter in consuming the religion of a Muslim than a gangrenous infection is in consuming the human body.”

Sufyaan b. `Uyaynah said,

“Backbiting is worse than a debt. A debt can be paid out, but backbiting cannot.”

`Ali b. al-Husayn once heard two people engaged in backbiting and said,

“Keep away from backbiting, for it is the broth of the mongrels among people.”

Reasons why people fall into the sin of backbiting others

1. Weakness of faith and impiety make a person likely to speak thoughtlessly and carelessly and transgress against others when he speaks.

When `Â’ishah was accused of impropriety, her co-wife Zaynab bint Jahsh was asked about her. Zaynab said, “O Messenger of Allah! I safeguard my hearing and my sight. I know nothing but good.”

'Â’ishah later commented,

“She was my rival among the wives of Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him). Allah restrained her by way of her piety.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2661)]

2. Another reason that people participate in backbiting is on account of the company they keep. They backbite people to please their peers and acquaintances. Allah says, conveying to us the words of the denizens of Hell,

{We used to speak in vain with those who speak in vain.} [Sûrah al-Mudaththir: 45]

3. Another reason is hatred, enmity, and envy towards others. Ibn Taymiyah says,

“Some people are inspired by envy to backbite, and in doing so, combine between two ignoble traits: backbiting and envy.”

4. Love of the world and the pursuit of status and power make people backbite others. Fudayl b. `Iyâd said,

“No one has ever loved leadership without envying, transgressing, tracking down the faults of others, and loathing to hear anyone else mentioned in a good way.”

How to rid ourselves of this ignoble trait

1. We can protect ourselves from speaking ill of others by cultivating our fear of Allah and our sense of shame before our Lord. This can be achieved by reflecting often upon the verses of the Qur’ân and the hadîth of our Prophet (peace be upon him) that speak about Allah’s punishment, that encourage us to repent, and that warn us against evil deeds.

Allah says, {Or do they think that We do not hear their secrets and their private counsels? Indeed we do and our messengers are by them to record.} [Sûrah al-Zukhruf: 80]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Feel shame before Allah as you ought to feel shame before him. So guard the head and what it contains, guard the stomach and what you put in it, and think upon death and returning to dust.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2458)]

2. We can reflect upon just how much we lose every time we utter some bad words about another person.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) once asked his Companions, “Do you know who is bankrupt?”

They replied, “The person among us who is bankrupt is the one who possesses neither money nor provision.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The one who is bankrupt from among my followers is he who comes on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, charity, and fasting to his credit. However, he had insulted this person, struck that person, and seized the wealth of another, on account of which his good deeds will be taken from him. Then, if his good deeds are exhausted, the sins of those whom he wronged will be taken from them and foisted upon him and then he will be cast into the Fire.” [Sahîh Muslim (2581)]

3. A beneficial remedy that can help us to rid ourselves of this evil habit is to reflect upon our own shortcomings and work to improve ourselves. If we preoccupy ourselves with our own faults, we will not find time to worry about the faults of others. We should fear that if we speak about someone else’s shortcomings, that Allah might punish us by afflicting us with the same.

Al-Hasan al-Basrî said,

“We used to remind one another that whoever faults his brother on account of a sin and he had repented for it will be punished by Allah by falling into it himself.”

Abû Hurayrah said,

“One of you sees the dust in his brother’s eye but fails to see the crud in his own.”

4. Keeping to the company of righteous people and avoiding bad company helps us to avoid backbiting.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The likeness of a good companion and a bad companion is that of a person carrying musk and another who works the bellows. The person carrying musk might give you some of it or at the very least you will enjoy the pleasant scent. The person with the bellows will either singe your clothing or at least make you suffer from the bad smell.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2101) and Sahîh Muslim (2628) and the wording is that of Muslim]

Al-Nawawî writes, commenting on this hadîth,

“It discusses the virtues of keeping the company of the righteous and people who carry out good works and possess good manners… It prohibits us from the company of people who engage in bad deeds and innovations, those who backbite others, and those who are habitually sinful and idle.”

5. A person who has a habit of backbiting others needs to make a firm and determined resolution to stop.

We can look at the example of Rasûl b. Wahb who said,

“I swore an oath that for every time I backbite someone, I would fast a day. This just wore me out, since I would backbite and fast. Then I resolved that for every time I backbite someone, I would spend one silver coin in charity. Then, for the love of money, I gave up backbiting.”

 

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If any of us hear gossip about one of our brothers or sisters, we are enjoined to oppose it, and correct the speaker- gently, politely, and with wisdom - to the best of our ability. This is in accordance with the various ways of changing a bad deed which were described by the Messenger of Allah, "Whoever of you sees an evil deed should change it with his hand [by acting], or if he cannot do that, then with his tongue [by speaking out], or if he cannot do that, then with his heart - and that is the weakest of faith." (Reported by Muslim (Kitab al-lman, No. 49).

The least of these is opposing the wrong deed in our hearts, which in this case should make us leave the gathering where the gossip is taking place.

Let us think about the words of Allah (swt): {When you see men engaged in vain discourse about Our Signs, turn away from them unless they turn to a different theme. If Satan ever makes you forget, then after recollection, do not sit in the company of those who do wrong.} [al-An'am 6:68]

The Messenger of Allah (SAAS) said, "Whoever defends the honour of his brother, this will be a protection for him from the Fire."

The Prophet (saws) also said, "Whoever defends his brother's honour in his absence, will be entitled to Allah's protection from the Fire." [Ahmad]

And "Whoever defends his brother's honour, Allah will protect his face from the Fire of the Day of Resurrection."[Al-Tirmidhi]

The Prophet (saws) also said,  "Whoever protects a Muslim from a hypocrite, (probably he said:) Allah will send an angel to protect his flesh from the Fire of Hell; and whoever accuses a Muslim of something, seeking to disgrace him, Allah will detain him on the bridge of Hell until he has been fully punished for what he said." [Abu Dawud]

Anecdotes on the Condemnation of al-Gheebah (gossip/backbiting)

1 - It is reported from al-Hasan al-Basri (may Allah have mercy on him) that a man said to him: "You have gossiped about me." He (al-Hasan) said,

"You have not reached such a position that you can control my Hasaanat!" [Translator's Note: The Islamic teaching is that the Hasanaat (rewards) of the one who gossips will be awarded to the victim.]

2 - Someone was told, "So-and-so has gossiped about you" - so he sent him a dish of dates, with the message,

"I heard that you had given me your Hasanaat as a gift, and I want to return the favour; please excuse me for not being able to pay back in full."

3 - It was reported from Ibn Mubarak (may Allah have mercy on him) that he said,

"If I were to gossip about anyone, I would gossip about my parents, for they have more right to my Hasanaat."

4 - Gheebah (backbiting) is the hospitality of the wrongdoer.

5 - `Amr b. al-`Âs, while traveling with his companions, once passed by the dead, rotting body of a mule and said,

“I swear by Allah, it is better that one of you should eat from this until he fills his stomach than for him to eat the flesh of a Muslim.” [Sahih al-Targhib at-Tarhib]

6 - A man mentioned something bad about another to his friend. His friend said to him, "Do you go out and fight against the Romans?" He said, "No." His friend asked: "Do you go out and fight against the Turks?" He said, "No." The friend said,

"The Romans are safe from you, and the Turks are safe from you, but your Muslim brothers are not safe from you!"

7 - If you are unable to do three things, then you must do three (other) things: if you cannot do good, then stop doing evil; if you cannot benefit people, then do not harm them; if you cannot fast, then do not eat the flesh of the people.

8 - The poet said:

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The definition of backbiting has been clearly explained in the hadeeth reported by Muslim (4/2001) upon the authority of Aboo Hurairah that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said,  “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said: “Allaah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “Mentioning your brother with that which he dislikes.” It was said to the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam): “Even if what I mention about my brother is true?” He (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said,

“If what you have said concerning him is true, then surely you have backbitten him; and if what you said isn’t true, then surely you have slandered him.”

As for his statement, “You have slandered him.” An-Nawawi (commenting upon this in) (Sharh Muslim 16/142), said:

“It means: that which you have said about him was slander, and this is because it was false.”

Ibn Hajr said,

“The strongest position is that backbiting is specific to when the individual is absent. This is in compliance with the derivation of this word from its root. This is what the scholars of the Arabic language firmly state.”

Backbiting is Impermissible, Whether it is in Small or Great Amounts

It is reported in the Sunan of Aboo Daawood upon the authority of ‘Aa’ishah that she said: “O Messenger of Allaah, it suffices you that Safiyyah is such and such.” One of the narrators said, ‘She meant that she is a woman of short stature.’ So the Prophet (Salla Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam) said, “You have spoken a word that if it were mixed with the sea, it would pollute it.”

It is reported in the Saheehayn (Bukhaari and Muslim) on the authority of Aboo Bakrah who said that the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “Verily your blood and wealth is sacred just like the sanctity of this day, in this month of yours, in this land of yours.”

There comes in the Sunan of At-Tirmidhee upon the authirity of Ibn ‘Umar that he said, “The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) ascended the pulpit, and shouted out in a loud voice:

‘O people who have believed with their tongue but Eemaan has not reached their hearts! Do not harm the Muslims, do not revile them and do not reveal their faults. For surely, the one who follows the faults of his Muslim brother, Allaah will follow his faults; and if Allaah was to follow his faults, then He will expose him even if he was hidden in the deepest part of his house.’”(Saheeh al-Musnad 1/508)

It is reported in Sunan Aboo Daawood upon the authority of Anas Ibn Maalik who said, The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “During the Mi`raaj (the Night of Ascension), I saw a group of people who were scratching their chests and faces with their copper nails. I asked, `Who are these people, O Jibreel?' Jibreel replied,

`These are the people who ate the flesh of others (by backbiting) and trampled upon people's honour.” (This hadeeth is authentic.)

Al Haafidh Ibn Katheer said in his tafseer (4/215),

“Backbiting is impermissible by unanimous agreement. The only exception to this is that speech which carries a greater overall benefit, as is the case with al-Jarh wa Ta’deel (recommendation and disparagement) and sincere advice. An example of this is the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam), at a time when a sinful individual sought permission to enter:

“Let him enter, what an evil man is the brother of this clan.”

Also the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) to Faatimah bint Qais, when Mu’aawiyah and Aboo Jahm sought her hand in marriage, “As for Mu’aawiyah then he is poor, and as for Aboo Jahm then he is very hard on the women.”

Additionally, those cases that are similar to this, but apart from them, all the other types of backbiting are severely prohibited.”

The cases which are not deemed to be backbiting have been collected in the statement of the poet,

Dispraising is not backbiting in six cases:

(1) When voicing a grievance
(2) Describing and (3) warning
(4) Speaking about the one who openly sins
(5) For the one who seeks a religious fatwah
(6) And when seeking aid in removing an evil

The reference point for the two lines of poetry is Subul As-Salaam 1084.

The scholars have differed over whether or not backbiting is counted as being from amongst the major sins. Al Qurtubi has conveyed that there is a unanimous consensus that it is from the major sins.

However, Ibn Hajr mentioned that the author of “Ar-Rawdah” and “Ar Rafaa’ee” both have stated that backbiting is from the minor sins. Nevertheless, the evidences support the stance that backbiting is amongst the major sins. It is reported in Sunan Aboo Daawood upon the authority of Sa’eed Ibn Zayd that the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said,  “From the worst types of usury is violating the honour of a Muslim without any right.” (This hadeeth is authentic and is mentioned in As Saheeh Al Musnad (1/313)

Allaah says, {…Neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allâh. Verily, Allâh is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.} [Soorah Al-Hujuraat (49): 12] 

Is Backbiting Only in the Absence of the Individual?

That which is apparent from his saying (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam), “Mentioning your brother with that which he dislikes”.

In our time, backbiting has become the enjoyment of many women, except for those whom Allaah has mercy upon. Hence, it is obligatory upon us that we submit to what our Lord has legislated.

{The only saying of the faithful believers, when they are called to Allâh (His Words, the Qur'ân) and His Messenger (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam), to judge between them, is that they say: "We hear and we obey." And such are the prosperous ones (who will live forever in Paradise). And whosoever obeys Allâh and His Messenger (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam), fears Allâh, and keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful ones.} [Soorah an-Noor (24):51-52]

{But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you (O Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)) judge in all disputes between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your decisions, and accept (them with full submission.} [Soorah An-Nisa(4): 65]

{Say (O Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)) to these idolaters (pagan Arabs) of your folk]: Follow what has been sent down unto you from your Lord (the Qur'ân and Prophet Muhammad's Sunnah), and follow not any Auliyâ' (protectors and helpers, etc. who order you to associate partners in worship with Allâh), besides Him (Allâh). Little do you remember!} [Soorah Al-A’raaf(7):3]

And He said, {And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)) gives you, take it, and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it), and fear Allâh. Verily, Allâh is Severe in punishment.} [Soorah Al- Hashr (59):7]

Let us not resemble the People of the Book by saying, ‘We hear and we disobey’ rather, let us say: 'We hear and we obey.’  Therefore, this issue of backbiting is a very dangerous subject indeed, as a person might fall into it without even being aware. So be careful! It is upon you us to repent to Allaah from this act.

The Way to Repent from Backbiting

Ibnul Qayyim said in his book ‘Al-Wabil As-Sayyib’ pg.113:

“It is mentioned that the Prophet (Salla Allaahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘The expiation for backbiting is to seek forgiveness for the person you have backbitten, and say: 'O Allaah, forgive us and him.’' 

Al Bayhaqi relates this hadeeth in ‘Ad Da’waat Al Kabeer’, and he states that there is a weakness in the chain of narrators.

The scholars have two opinions on this issue (i.e. the way to repent from backbiting); and these two opinions have been narrated upon Imaam Ahmad.

They are: Is it sufficient to repent from backbiting by seeking forgiveness for the one who has been backbitten? or is it mandatory to inform him and seek his pardon?

The correct position is that there is no need to inform him (i.e. the one who has been backbitten). It is sufficient to seek forgiveness and to mention him with good in the places where you have backbitten him. This is what Shaykhul Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah and others held to be the strongest opinion.

Those who have said it is necessary to inform him, hold backbiting to be similar to the rights that a person has when it relates to their wealth, but the difference between them is obvious. As for the rights related to a person’s wealth, then this is because the oppressed benefits when that which has been wrongfully taken from him is returned. If he chooses he can take it or if he chooses he can give it as charity.

When it comes to backbiting, then this isn’t possible as nothing results from informing the one who has been backbitten, except (an outcome) that is contrary to that what has been intended by the legislator. For surely the one who has been backbitten will harbour this in his chest. He will be harmed when he hears about what he has been accused of. This could possibly incite enmity between them, which would never be resolved. Anything that could lead to this, then there is no doubt that the wise legislator would not allow it or make it permissible, let alone make it an obligation or command it.

The Sharee’ah revolves around stopping harms and limiting them, not causing and adding to them. And Allaah knows best.”

End of his words-may Allaah have mercy upon him. There is nothing that could be added to the words of Ibnul Qayyim for he has spoken excellently and skilfully. (For further information) refer back to ‘Tafseer Ibn Katheer’ where he explains the saying of Allaah: {...Do not backbite one another...}

I will close the subject of backbiting with the saying of Al-Qahtaanee in his Nooniyyah pg.39:

"Do not busy yourself with (finding the) faults of others Whilst forgetting your own faults,
Verily these are two defective qualities"

 

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Allaah, the Exalted, says:

"Muhammad (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) is the Messenger of Allaah. And those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves. You see them bowing and falling down prostrate (in prayer), seeking bounty from Allaah and (His) Good Pleasure. The mark of them (i.e., of their faith) is on their faces (foreheads) from the traces of prostration (during prayers). This is their description in the Taurat (Torah). But their description in the Injeel (Gospel) is like a (sown) seed which sends forth its shoot, then makes it strong, and becomes thick and it stands straight on its stem, delighting the sowers, that He may enrage the disbelievers with them. Allaah has promised those among them who believe (i.e., all those who follow Islamic Monotheism, the religion of Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) till the Day of Resurrection) and do righteous good deeds, forgiveness and a mighty reward (i.e., Jannah).'' (48:29)

"And those who, before them, had homes (in Al-Madinah) and had adopted the faith, - love those who emigrate to them...'' (59:9)

Anas bin Malik (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "There are three qualities whoever has them, will taste the sweetness of Eemaan: To love Allaah and His Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) more than anyone else; to love a slave (of Allaah) only for (the sake of) Allaah; and to abhor returning to infidelity after Allaah has saved him from it, as he would abhor to be thrown into the fire (of Hell)". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].

Commentary:
1. In this Hadeeth, the love of Allaah signifies the sweetness of Eemaan.

2. The love of Allaah and His Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) is the cornerstone of the faith. When it is said that this love should exceed one's love for everything else in the universe, it means that what is enjoined by Allaah and His Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) must be given preference over everything else, whether it is love for the wife, children, worldly interests, desires or whims. When there is a clash between the two, the former should be given preference over the latter.

Aboo Hurairah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "Seven are (the persons) whom Allaah will give Shade of His Thrown on the Day when there would be no shade other than His Throne's Shade:

1. A just ruler;
2. A youth who grew up worshipping Allaah;
3. A man whose heart is attached to Masjid;
4. Two persons who love and meet each other and depart from each other for the sake of Allaah;
5. A man whom an extremely beautiful woman seduces (for illicit relation), but he (rejects this offer by saying): `I fear Allaah';
6. A man who gives in charity and conceals it (to such an extent) that the left hand does not know what the right has given;
7. And a person who remembers Allaah in solitude and his eyes well up". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].

Commentary:

This Hadeeth mentions seven types of people whom Almighty Allaah provides special protection or His Throne's Shade. In some Ahaadeeth this blessing has also been promised for some noble actions over and above those which have been mentioned here. Some `Ulama' including As-Sakhkhaawi and Al-Haafidh Ibn Hajar [r] have given a list of seventy such actions. Imaam As-Suyuti [r] said: "The (present) Hadeeth mentions only seven qualities to bring into prominence their importance and also the importance of acting upon them'.

Aboo Hurairah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "On the Day of Resurrection, Allaah, the Exalted, will say: `Where are those who have mutual love for the sake of My Glory? Today I shall shelter them in My Shade when there will be no shade except Mine". [Muslim].

Commentary:

It should be borne in mind that the shade referred to in the Hadeeth is the shade of Allaah's Throne. Referring to this shade in the Arabic text as the Shade of Allaah, is similar to the `she camel of Allaah,' the `land of Allaah' `the house of Allaah' that are mentioned in the Qur'aan. 

378. Aboo Hurairah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "By Him in Whose Hand my soul is! You will not enter Jannah until you believe, and you shall not believe until you love one another. May I inform you of something, if you do, you love each other. Promote greeting amongst you (by saying As-salamu `alaikum to one another)". [Muslim].

Commentary:

In this Hadeeth, Islaam has been regarded as the medium of mutual love. This is the reason Muslims have been enjoined to greet each other regardless of acquaintance. It does not, however, mean that a Muslim will be a true believer or entitled to Jannah, by mere greeting. What it really means is that his faith will become meaningful only when it is supported by actions. Greeting is an Islamic custom and a practical form and demonstration of it. The combination of faith and its practice will take a Muslim to Jannah.

Aboo Hurairah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "A man set out to visit a brother (in faith) in another town and Allaah sent an angel on his way. When the man met the angel, the latter asked him, "Where do you intend to go?'' He said, "I intend to visit my brother in this town". The angel said, "Have you done any favour to him?'' He said, "No, I have no desire except to visit him because I love him for the sake of Allaah, the Exalted, and Glorious.'' Thereupon the angel said, "I am a messenger to you from Allaah (to inform you) that Allaah loves you as you love him (for His sake)". [Muslim].

Al-Bara' bin `Aazib (may Allaah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said about the Ansaar: "Only a believer loves them, and only a hypocrite hates them. Allaah loves him who loves them and Allaah hates him who hates them". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].

Commentary:

The way the Ansaar or Helpers, faithfully served Islaam, Muslims and the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam), constitutes not only one of the brightest chapters of Islamic history but also makes them a model of excellent conduct and character. Almighty Allaah rewarded them for their devotion to Islaam with immense love for faith - the love which became a symbol of their faith and love for Allaah. Not only that, because of this devotion of the Ansaar, everyone who entertained jealousy and hatred against them was declared a hypocrite by Allaah. There were two famous tribes, namely Al-Aws and Al-Khazraj in Al-Madeenah. In the pre-Islamic days they were enemies to each other. When they embraced Islaam, they became close brothers. They welcomed the Muhajiroon (the Emigrants) with open arms and rendered every possible assistance to them. For this reason they were named 'Ansaar'. May Allaah be pleased with them, and they with Him.

Mu`aadh (bin Jabal) (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "Allaah, the Exalted, has said: `For those who love one another for the sake of My Glory, there will be seats of light (on the Day of Resurrection), and they will be envied by the Prophets and martyrs".  [At-Tirmidhi].

Commentary:

This Hadeeth tells us that Allaah will grant an exalted position to such people who love one another for His sake. "They will be envied by the Prophets and martyrs'' does not mean that they will be granted a place higher than even the Prophets because the highest position will be granted to the Prophets, as these are the best of Allaah's creation. These words simply draw our attention to the superiority and the exalted position those who love one another for Allaah's sake will have on the Day of Resurrection.

Aboo Idrees Al-Khawlaani (may Allaah had mercy upon him) reported: I once entered the Masjid in Damascus. I happened to catch sight of a young man who had bright teeth (i.e., he was always seen smiling). A number of people had gathered around him. When they differed over anything they would refer it to him and act upon his advice. I asked who he was and I was told that he was Mu`aadh bin Jabal (may Allaah be pleased with him) The next day I hastened to the mosque, but found that he had arrived before me and was busy in performing Salaah. I waited until he finished, and then went to him from the front, greeted him with Salaam and said to him, "By Allaah I love you.'' He asked, "For the sake of Allaah?'' I replied, "Yes, for the sake of Allaah". He again asked me, "Is it for Allaah's sake?'' I replied, "Yes, it is for Allaah's sake.'' Then he took hold of my cloak, drew me to himself and said, "Rejoice,! I heard Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) saying, `Allaah, the Exalted, says: My love is due to those who love one another for My sake, meet one another for My sake, visit one another for My sake and spend in charity for My sake". [Maalik].

Commentary:

Besides the merit of mutual affection, contact and co-operation for the pleasure of Allaah, this Hadeeth tells us that one should disclose one's affection to him whom one loves. It also tells us that when a person is engaged in worship or daily round of recitation, his visitor should not sit before him so that his concentration is not affected. He should sit behind him and wait till he has finished his prayer. The Hadeeth also teaches us to approach someone from the front so as not to scare him.

Aboo Kareemah Al-Miqdaad bin Madikarib (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "When a man loves his brother (for Allaah sake) let him tell him that he loves him". [At-Tirmidhi and Aboo Dawud].

Commentary:

The wisdom behind informing someone that one loves him for the sake of Allaah, is to make him aware of the regard shown to him so that this will turn into mutual affection and will, therefore, promote cooperation with each other.

Mu`aadh bin Jabal (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) held my hand and said, "O Mu`aadh, By Allaah, I love you and advise you not to miss supplicating after every Salaah (prayer) saying:

Commentary:

We learn from this Hadeeth the following:

1. It is commendable to inform those whom one loves for Allaah's sake, of this love.

2. The superiority of Mu`aadh [r].

3. It is commendable to say this Du'a after each obligatory Salaah.

4. It is commendable to seek Allaah's Help in order to discharge one's duties towards Allaah in the best possible manner.

Anas bin Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: A man was with the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) when another man passed by and the former said: "O Messenger of Allaah! I love this man (for Allaah's sake)". Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) asked, "Have you informed him?'' He said, "No". Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) then said, "Tell him (that you love him)". So he went up to the man and said to him, "I love you for the sake of Allaah;'' and the other replied, "May Allaah, for Whose sake you love me, love you.'' [Aboo Daawood].

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“When they see a person sinning, many brothers hate the sin and this is something correct, but they [also] hate the sinner, and then they deal with him harshly as someone who hates him would, like someone who wants to take revenge on him, and this is a huge mistake.

You must cure the sinner as a gentle doctor who treats a wound in order for it to heal does, he doesn’t treat the wound in order for it to get worse, so he treats this person with gentleness and a desire for good for him and out of mercy for him … this is how the scholars who nurture are, they look at the creation with a view to reform, not to seek revenge and out of hatred—I hate the sin which this person does, but this person is a believer so he is my brother, even if he fornicated and stole, he is still my brother, the believers are but brothers.”

(Majmoo’ Fataawaa wa Rasaa’il Fadilatish-Shaikh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-’Uthaimeen, vol. 27, pp. 311-312)

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Choking back tears, Dr Muhammad Taufiq paid a loving tribute to his “beloved wife and three beautiful children” who dedicated their lives to God by serving others.

Dr Taufiq was speaking after seven men and a youth were convicted of killing his family in an arson attack as they slept in their terrace home in Spinney Hills, Leicester.

The neurosurgeon was away working in Dublin when the fatal attack was launched, but had spoken to his family about an hour before they died.

Miraculously, three copies of the Koran, one belonging to his wife, Shehnila, and the others belonging to sons Bilal and Jamal, survived the inferno that engulfed their home.He showed them at a press conference held at the Hilton Hotel in Nottingham yesterday, shortly after the verdicts were returned.

Dr Taufiq also showed an envelope containing money raised by the family for a mosque project in Dublin which had also survived.

Talking of his family, Dr Taufiq said: “I can say they were really extra-ordinary people. They were very charitable. They had a strong concern for the welfare of others even before their own comfort.

“They had devoted their lives to a dream to give to others, the needy, the less privileged and the misguided. Four amazing human beings.”

He said his wife’s many good deeds included providing voluntary help and support to people in need.

Dr Taufiq said his daughter, Zainab, also did charitable work. He added that she was “always smiling and friendly to everyone in her school”.

Speaking of his elder son, he said: “Bilal was one of the most extraordinary, amazing and God-gifted people. At the age of 16, he was the editor of a religious magazine. He used to record his own religious songs.”

He also said Bilal had “memorised the whole of the Koran by heart”.

Of his younger son, Dr Taufiq said: “Jamal was a smiler who mixed with everyone. He made a number of friends both in his school and local community. He was nearly at the end of memorising of the whole of the Koran. He used to play football in goal and at Spinney Hill Park.”

The neurosurgeon said his wife had completed her five years of religious studies last year. Zainab was going to complete her studies this year. Bilal was in his first year of his Islamic theology course and Jamal was going to join the same course this year.

He said: “The ultimate goal of these four amazing people was to live and work together with a primary aim to serve community and humanity.”

Asked if he hated the defendants for what they did to his family, Dr Taufiq said: “I do not hate the people, but I hate the crime.”

He added: “They have not admitted what they have done. They have lied. They will have to live with that on their consciences for the rest of their lives.”

Dr Taufiq attended several days during the trial. He said it was important for him to have done so to seen the outcome.

He said: “I had to find out what happened.”

Dr Taufiq thanked many people who had helped and supported him throughout the past nine months, including Leicestershire Police, Victim Support and his colleagues in Dublin.

He added: “My thanks to all the communities in Leicester, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs and so on. I have no family members in the UK, but now consider the whole of the country and people in Leicester as my family.

“Thank you to all those people all over the world who prayed for me and my family and keep us in their thoughts and prayer.

“My special thanks to all in the media who remained very much helpful and positive throughout this difficult time.”

Tomorrow he will read a victim impact statement to the court.

Source: Leicester Mercury.

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Personal branding through social media may help you build your professional network, but there will never be a replacement for a charismatic personality.

Napoleon Hill, author of "Think and Grow Rich"--one of the top-selling books of all time--wrote about the habits of the most likable people in his essay "Develop A Pleasing Personality," published in the forthcoming collection "The Science of Success."

He introduced his steps to having a "million-dollar personality" by explaining it was steel magnate Charles M. Schwab's charming demeanor that in the late 19th century elevated him from day laborer to an executive with a $75,000 salary and a frequent million-dollar bonus (astronomical numbers for the time).

Schwab's boss, the legendary industrialist Andrew Carnegie said "the yearly salary was for the work Schwab performed, but the bonus was for what Schwab, with his pleasing personality, could get others to do," Hill writes.

Here are Hill's 14 habits of people who are so likable that others go out of their way to help them:

1. They develop a positive mental attitude and let it be seen and felt by others.

It's often easier to give into cynicism, but those who choose to be positive set themselves up for success and have better reputations.

2. They always speak in a carefully disciplined, friendly tone.

The best communicators speak deliberately and confidently, which gives their voice a pleasing sound.

3. They pay close attention to someone speaking to them.

Using a conversation as an opportunity to lecture someone "may feed the ego, but it never attracts people or makes friends," Hill says.

4. They are able to maintain their composure in all circumstances.

An overreaction to something either positive or negative can give people a poor impression. In the latter case, says Hill, "Remember that silence may be much more effective than your angry words."

5. They are patient.

"Remember that proper timing of your words and acts may give you a big advantage over impatient people," Hill writes.

6. They keep an open mind.

Those who close themselves off from certain ideas and associate only with like-minded people are missing out on not only personal growth but also opportunities for advancing their careers.

7. They smile when speaking with others.

Hill says that president Franklin D. Roosevelt's greatest asset was his "million-dollar smile," which allowed people to lower their guards during conversation.

8. They know that not all their thoughts need to be expressed.

The most likable people know that it's not worth offending people by expressing all their thoughts, even if they happen to be true.

9. They don't procrastinate.

Procrastination communicates to people that you're afraid of taking action, Hill says, and are therefore ineffective.

10. They engage in at least one good deed a day.

The best networkers help other people out without expecting anything in return.

11. They find a lesson in failure rather than brood over it.

People admire those who grow from failure rather than wallow in it. "Express your gratitude for having gained a measure of wisdom, which would not have come without defeat," Hill says.

12. They act as if the person they are speaking to is the most important person in the world.

The most likable people use conversations as an opportunity to learn about another person and give them time to talk.

13. They praise others in a genuine way without being excessive.

"Praise the good traits of others, but don't rub it on where it is not deserved or spread it too thickly," Hill says.

14. They have someone they trust point out their flaws.

Successful people don't pretend to be likable; they are likable because they care about their conduct and reputation. Having a confidant who can be completely honest with them allows them to continue growing.

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The advice of 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (r) as narrated by Sa'eed Ibn Al-Musayyib (r):

"There's nothing more sufficient than when someone disobeys Allaah in dealing with you, you do nothing but obey Allaah in dealing with him. Place the affairs of your brother when they reach you upon the best of interpretations until there comes to you clarity which overcomes that. Do not think ill of a statement which comes from another Muslim if you can find a good interpretation for it. Whoever exposes himself to suspicion let him not blame those who then think badly of him, and whoever conceals his secrets, strength of choice will be in his hands.

Hold fast to truthful companions, live with them closely for they are a charm at times of ease and an aid at times of difficulty. Stick to the truth even if the truth kills you, and do not involve yourself with issues that don't concern you. Do not ask about things which haven't taken place for indeed, that which has already taken place is enough to preoccupy you from it! Do not seek help or take your affairs to someone who doesn't wish to see you succeed, and do not befriend the sinful lest you learn from his sins and evil.

Keep away from your enemy and be cautious of even your friend, except for the truthful and trusted friend. And no-one is trustworthy except him who fears Allaah.

Humble yourself at the graves:

 

Lower yourself in obedience and stand firm against disobedience. And when it comes to your affairs, seek counsel only from those who truly fear Allaah for indeed, Allaah says:

إِنَّمَا يَخْشَى اللَّهَ مِنْ عِبَادِهِ الْعُلَمَاءُ

"...Indeed, it is only those who have knowledge among His Slaves that truly fear Allaah." [al-Fatir:28] "

Source: Rawdhat al-'Uqala' (pg. 77-78].

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I have this tree analogy when I think of people in my life, be it friends, family, acquaintances, employees, co-workers, whomever...They are all placed inside what I call my tree test. It goes like this:

LEAF PEOPLE

Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can't depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone.

You can't be angry at them, it's just who they are.

BRANCH PEOPLE

There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it's possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it's tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can't handle too much weight.

But again, you can't be mad with them, it's just who they are.

ROOT PEOPLE

If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy. They stay low key and don't let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you. Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots.

Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people's lives?

THANK ALLAAH FOR THE ROOTS!

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If you want to deal with hurtful relatives on the basis of justice, then it is permissible for you to respond in like to their unkind words, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "And if you punish (your enemy), then punish them with the like of that with which you were afflicted..." [al-Nahl 16:126].

But if you bear it with patience, that will be better for you, as Allaah says at the end of the same aayah (interpretation of the meaning): "... But if you endure patiently, verily, it is better for al-saabireen (the patient ones)." [al-Nahl 16:126]

If you want to turn enmity into love, then treat them well, if they treat you badly, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better, then verily! He between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend." [Fussilat 41:34]

The words, "The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal" mean that there is a huge difference between the two. "Repel (the evil) with one which is better," means that when someone treats you badly, answer back with something better, as 'Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "There is no better punishment for the person who sinned by being bad to you, than your obeying Allaah by being good to him in return." (Tafseer Ibn Katheer).

A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: "O Messenger of Allaah, I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off; I treat them well, but they treat me badly; I try to be kind to them, but they are cruel to me." He said: "If you are as you say, it is as if you are putting hot ashes in their mouths. You will continue to have support from Allaah against them so long as you continue doing that." (Reported by Muslim, no. 2558)

Our advice to you, our sister, is to be tolerant and forgiving. Follow this advice. Especially if it is clear that they have room to regret and retract bad actions. Allaah tells us (interpetation of the meaning): " ... whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allaah..." [al-Shoora 42:40]

However, all of this does not prevent us from protecting ourselves from the evil and harm that such relatives may cause. If going to their houses, for example, will cause some kind of offence or harm, then the relationship can be limited to telephone calls, kind words, the occasional gift and so on. The relationship can be maintained at a distance, if being too close will cause problems.

We ask Allaah to guide us all, to help us not to bear any grudges towards anyone, and to treat one another properly. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.